[INFP] Hate an INFP REDUX

[heart]

Once they make a decision, they then continue to second guess that they made the right one. Not a big deal if you are deciding which restaurant to eat dinner at or what movie to see, but when it is a major life decision (dating, marriage, children) it really sucks to be around them. Everyone has doubts that they've done the right thing, but you can't change the past. Stand by the choices you've made, live in the present with an eye to the future, and enjoy what you have rather than lamenting what you think you gave up.

They also seem to expect people to just magically know what it is they want. They don't tell you their expectations and then get upset when you don't meet them. How in the heck are people supposed to know what someone else wants if they never tell them?!? The rest of us don't have those mystical INFP powers that allow us to "just know." You'd think they'd take pity on us and just tell us what they want rather than make us guess.

Sometimes I just want to curl up my pudgy little fist and pop someone right in the kisser while shouting "GET OVER IT! IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!"

LOL! Don't get me started. But since you asked...Dithering about a question to the point of being unable to make a decision, then ultimately doing nothing. They then moan about those non-decisions as if something was taken from them. Lack of action is a decision, even if they don't want to see it that way.

Actually, I felt guilty about my post so I had to balance it by making a post in another thread.

I don't think you needed to feel badly about this at all.

 

[Carebear]

Yes! And I think that can be part of not wanting to pick up the phone. It interrupts them and when they get off the phone they have to resume whatever it was they were doing and they realize they just spent an hour or two talking. It's kind of like an inertia thing. They get going on the phone and then they have to muster the energy to get back to what they were doing. (Plus apparently just the irrational, immediate fear that grips the INFP when the phone rings haha, bless 'em).

LOL! Don't get me started. But since you asked...Dithering about a question to the point of being unable to make a decision, then ultimately doing nothing. They then moan about those non-decisions as if something was taken from them. Lack of action is a decision, even if they don't want to see it that way.

I agree, and yes, it's an annoying INFP thing. This should however also be posted on the front page of INTPc and in Uberfuhrer's blog.

I hate INFPs because they're so damn hard to corrupt.
Give in, damn it!

Seriously? In my experience it's quite easy if you go about it in the right way and avoid any of the major values (which isn't as difficult as it might seem, as they're normally "self", "close ones", "inner harmony" and a few random ones from childhood that have stuck). Of course total corruption might be impossible because of the values thing, but the values normally leave huge loopholes for partial corruption.

I was never this way until my 30s. Mostly for me it avoiding certain people who call. Certain people who are really calling to talk to husband except he never answers the phone, when it rings he looks at me, terrified and says "who could that be? Are you going to answer it? Could you?" And I am like "I'm not gonna answer it either" and then it quits ringining.

Then again there are days where I am fatigued and I just don't feel like talking and I am afraid I'll be either too distant or snapish if I pick up the phone.

It comes and goes for me. When I first get into the calling people business, it works great, then in inactive periods the fear slowly creeps in again. Still, I'm never afraid of answering the phone, just reluctant sometimes, but making the call is trickier, as I get time to consider all the possible ways the conversation can go wrong beforehand then.

 

[substitute]

Yeah, my INFP says when she thinks about making a call she freezes because she thinks the other person will not welcome the call. That they'd find her a pain in the ass and not want to talk to her. So I'm like, well if they don't want to talk they'll just tell you but I'm sure it'll be for a valid reason and not personal against you. Then she's like, ah but what if they just SAY that cos they don't want to hurt my feelings?

But you know what? I said to her, have you any idea how insulting that is to your friends? Do you really think I'm the kind of asshole who'd string along somebody as a friend when I really thought they were a total pain? Do you really think I'm that gutless that I wouldn't tell you straight if you were annoying me?

And she's like, woah now I feel guilty cos no I know you're not that kind of person. And she said the reason she'd even thought that way was because SHE was that kind of person and she was projecting her self-hate onto me.

There's just no way around that, is there? Or... or is there???

 

[heart]

If I have a call to make, I just pick up the phone and dial. I know Ne will come through for me, lol.

Husband on the other hand can turn having to make a call into a make or break everything in life type situation and many time I just end up making the call or dialing the number and "warming the conversation up" for him. ugh.

 

[runvardh]

Yup, the only thing that keeps me from calling when I want to is what time it is for the person I'm calling or I just don't have the person's number to begin with. Not a good time? Well, call me back, then, or hope I think about calling again in the next quarter.

 

[milti girl]

I'm mortally afraid of talking to strangers on the phone, such as calling to order a pizza or customer care or calling someone to interview them or answer an ad.

I find it really annoying that an INFP will propose a plan, reluctantly at first, and then expect you to be all excited about it and then pout when you aren't in the mood to go along with whatever crazy plan they have for the day!!!
A conversation between me and my INFP friend will go like this:

She: "What do you want to do today?"
Me: "Go out somehwhere, maybe?"
She: "Go out? Cool! Why don't we visit XYZ tourist spot?"
Me: "What? Oh...I was just thinking of shopping or having a coffee or something."
She: "No, think about it! We could just take the first bus out."
Me: "A bus? Now? But where do we go? We haven't booked any bus or place to stay or anything..."
She: "Okay, let's go to the bus station and jump into the first one we see. We can decide where to go once we see the buses there."
Me: (feeling helpless) "But...I don't..."
She: "Ohhh....you don't look happy." (looks sad. Then angry.) "I didn't know you could be such a killjoy! Fine, I'll go on my own!" (stomping off)
Me: "Oh all right, I'll come...but I don't want to do this. I want to go have a coffee."
She: (smiling horridly) "If you don't want to, you don't have to. Really. I'm fine. You go ahead and have your coffe. Bye."

This happens a lot!

 

[substitute]

this is why I think ENTP and INFP are theoretically well matched, because who else is ever gonna be more likely to want to go along with any crazy plan at the last minute?

 

[milti girl]

this is why I think ENTP and INFP are theoretically well matched, because who else is ever gonna be more likely to want to go along with any crazy plan at the last minute?

Not another INFP, definitely! I hate her always trying to make me feel guilty! I just HATE it when she does this!

 

[MrRandom]

I have two INFP friends/acquitances (the other one's type is not confirmed).

I hate it that they have such a strong piercing look in their eyes, as if they are having vivid emotions behind them... but at the same time their face reveals nothing to me. Usually I know instinctively if a person likes me or not... but with INFPs I get no intuitive information whatsoever. For an INFJ that is really really really frustrating, because I'm used to knowing how other people are feeling.

INFPs, stop cloaking yourself from INFJs' x-ray-dars!

 

[fill_more]

infp and narcisstic personality disorder

From this thread it seems like infp types at their worst come close to fitting the description for Narcissistic personality disorder. Anyone have any experience with this? I knew a girl for a few years. I know she was an infp b/c i introduced her to the mbti. Emotionally, she was like a child in a lot of ways.

 

[violaine]

^^ I wouldn't say Narcissistic PD, or any PD really is indicated by the above.

(Who knows when people actually cross into the PD zone). If you're going to go that route I'd say the above looks more like the behaviors associated with Avoidant PD or social phobias - not that INFPs have Avoidant PD/social phobias at all. Oftentimes Avoidant PD will occur along with Anxiety disorders and a number of other things too.

If I'm going to take a potshot about Narcissistic PD though - I do have an ENTJ father! (I have a lot of tolerance for ENTJs.) At their lowest ebb they can seem to exhibit the behaviors associated with Narcissistic PD...

 

[SolitaryWalker]

this is why I think ENTP and INFP are theoretically well matched, because who else is ever gonna be more likely to want to go along with any crazy plan at the last minute?

I'd say the ENFP is better. The ENTP still has a need for logical order.

Another INFP best of all, as they will want least structure in their lives and will be okay operating based on whim (fleeting sentiment).

INFP definitely needs another F, the stronger the F the better, as others will insist on the INFP's behavior making sense of some kind. This of course the INFP will feel undermines them a great deal as their whole purpose in life is being true to their feelings no matter how amorphous they may be, and when they have some kind of structure to them, no matter how unreasonable they may be.

 

[milti girl]

Well I have a strong F but she can piss even me off. I'm not fond of plans made on a whim - not ones that require too much energy to execute.

 

[SolitaryWalker]

INFPs! The masters of complicated banalities! Their modus operandi is neurotic through and through! Devoted to the senseless dwelling on the vulgar passions, blown hither and thither from impulse to impulse all of which they know not.

In other words, many INFPs, especially those who are dominated by Fi and rely very little on Ne by comparison to Fi are guided by intense sentiments that they do not understand. They make their lives very complicated because of their inability to solve problems in an efficient manner (because their Fi eclipsed the thinking faculty). They catastrophizes even the simplest of situations. Thinking is the function we use to assess the impersonal world, it is the function we use to understand how things are, almost by definition. Our attitude towards the inferior function tends to be negative. Thus it is not surprising to discover INFPs having negative thoughts about the world of impersonal occurences.

They tend to use their thoughts as merely the starting point for an emotional reaction. Even the most seemingly frivolous of occurences will be grounds for intense exercise of passion. This is the commonly observed 'mystical ecstasy' in the INFPs!

 

[placebo]

So many of them are so neurotic! And they always make things more complicated then they have to be. You're just making things unecessarily harder for yourself and driving yourself into an emotional chaos! And they make so little sense half the time. ARGHHHH INFPS!!

 

[DigitalMethod]

They tend to use their thoughts as merely the starting point for an emotional reaction. Even the most seemingly frivolous of occurences will be grounds for intense exercise of passion. This is the commonly observed 'mystical ecstasy' in the INFPs!

Sounds like INTJs in reverse.
Nothing to hate.
Something to see beauty in.

 

[Bufo]

I hate their usernames. Almost without exception. Many make me cringe.

Sounds interesting. Could you explain?

 

[Brutus01]

they cant take any frikin criticism....u always gotta pat them on the back.... infps suck

 

[disregard]

INFPs! The masters of complicated banalities! Their modus operandi is neurotic through and through! Devoted to the senseless dwelling on the vulgar passions, blown hither and thither from impulse to impulse all of which they know not.

In other words, many INFPs, especially those who are dominated by Fi and rely very little on Ne by comparison to Fi are guided by intense sentiments that they do not understand. They make their lives very complicated because of their inability to solve problems in an efficient manner (because their Fi eclipsed the thinking faculty). They catastrophizes even the simplest of situations. Thinking is the function we use to assess the impersonal world, it is the function we use to understand how things are, almost by definition. Our attitude towards the inferior function tends to be negative. Thus it is not surprising to discover INFPs having negative thoughts about the world of impersonal occurences.

They tend to use their thoughts as merely the starting point for an emotional reaction. Even the most seemingly frivolous of occurences will be grounds for intense exercise of passion. This is the commonly observed 'mystical ecstasy' in the INFPs!

So cruel, this black and white world!

 

[Lateralus]