[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[xenaprincess]

I have a client who is an ENFP. She is SO nice! I love her!! We get along very well.

The only things I notice about her is that sometimes she talks on and on and on (which is disgruntling to my INTP boss) and she has a huge difficulty in making a decision. She will sometimes sit on a decision for days, then forget about it.

But she is the most lovely person.

 

[MacGuffin]

ENFPs are like half-gifted, half-retard.

Sometimes you get the gifted half, sometimes the retarded half. No prior warning which one you will get.

 

[Lady_X]

Hey wtf Mac.

 

[Laurie]

ENFPs are like half-gifted, half-retard.

Sometimes you get the gifted half, sometimes the retarded half. No prior warning which one you will get.

At least we aren't always douchebags!!

 

[MacGuffin]

At least we aren't always douchebags!!

Douchebags run the world!

 

[AgentF]

Douchebags run the world!

i take that as a compliment.

(4x CEO)

 

[MacGuffin]

i take that as a compliment.

(4x CEO)

A douchebag ENFP! I did not know such things existed.

 

[AgentF]

A douchebag ENFP! I did not know such things existed.

happily douchebagging since i was as a junior in college.

(the diff is that my employees don't know what a douchebag is...they've never been shown one.)

why? they get "wear your slippers to work" days, equity, cupcakes and a no-assholes HR policy that is my distinct pleasure to enforce.

 

[Laurie]

Douchebags run the world!

Just because some douchebags run the world you can't say all douchebags do.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I hear ya. I've tried to keep that more in mind over recent years -- that she really does belive she has my best interest at heart. The unfortunate thing is that we're so different that 9 times out of 10, what she thinks is best for me probably isn't really what's best for me.

Yes. Exactly. When my ENFP voices these negative comments, I often get the sense that she doesn't know who I really am. I think it's a projection of her own desires and what she values in a person. If that person does not have the qualities she values then that person is a throwaway. However, what I don't think she gets is that I value very different things than she does. So when she dismisses them, she, without knowing, is doing that to me.

Also, to reiterate what Steph said, her own judgement of the people she lets into her life are questionable themselves. I'm not sure it's a protective thing because the people she doesn't like are good people and haven't mistreated me. It would be a different story if there was credibility to her opinions. The problem: there isn't.

 

[SingSmileShine]

-shock-

How could anyone hate us?

 

[air]

What I've been told "You're the nicest person that I know, but I HATE spending time with you as you're always so hyperactive and happy!" (the person was deadly serious, it was an insult and upsetting since I don't know how to fix it)

People also find it rude when I always have to jump in conversations and leave flippantly to "find the flying butterfly..." I honestly can't help it though and mean no harm by it....
sorry folks!

 

[LuzDeLuna]

7) One of her pet ways of making people feel good about themselves is to act as though that person is practically saving her life by helping her out somehow.

8) She'll pretend like everything is her fault just to get people to stop arguing.

The time I liked her best was when she got angry and smashed her fist against the doorpost. I thought, "Finally! A genuine expression rather than one specifically designed to make people feel good." Only she ruined it later by apologizing to me for letting me see her angry.

Oh my goodness! Though I can especially relate to what is quoted above, I think your aunt has either never had any alone time EVER, or she had been locked up in a dark cave until the day you met her. She is the poster child for the unbalanced ENFP in my humble opinion. I can relate to a lot you said about her, though most things I can relate to are qualities that I have learned to or am learning to balance out. Thank you for your comments. You just saved my life! Heheh..

This is all gold to an ENFP like me who wants to know everything anyone ever thinks of her, but man... I feel bad for the both of you at this point. Maybe if she became aware of the fact that others have noticed these things about her she would also think about it and try to listen more. When I don't make enough time to rest from all of the association and reflect on my life I basically turn into a lunatic. At that point I get super moody and introverted until I lock myself away for a while, write a few songs, sleep too much, and finally come on out so everyone can tell me they love my music.

 

[skylights]

aunt in faith's post sounds like unhealthy 2w3

 

[Pinker85]

Can't think of anything. I really like ENFPs. By far my favorite type to be around.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I have no particularly negative disposition towards ENFP's or any type in general, all types have positive and negative traits, of which the negative traits can be dealt with once matured.

But I've often been amazed how (immature/unhealthy) ENFP's can sometimes say something and then in the same sentence proving themselves to be wrong.

Like: "I don't discriminate, but Mexicans talk funny.". Stuff like that. It's a form of humor to me.

 

[Betty Blue]

Can i say negative things bout ENFP's?
Well i will, i do like and love some/most ENFP's but Hezous some enhealthy types can be hellishly manipulative and possesive. It's not particularly intentional... it's mainly fairly innocent but can have devastating results.... i think because i seem acutely aware of this... i'm much more guarded around them now. Yah ENFP's like to decode/get into the heads of other ENFP's too.
Now you see... with INFP's (generally) you get all that fun time Ne crazy banter and idea exchanging but with a better/higher balance of values. I prefer that. Not saying INFP's can't or won't be manipulative just that's it's different.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Can i say negative things bout ENFP's?
Well i will, i do like and love some/most ENFP's but Hezous some enhealthy types can be hellishly manipulative and possesive. It's not particularly intentional... it's mainly fairly innocent but can have devastating results.... i think because i seem acutely aware of this... i'm much more guarded around them now. Yah ENFP's like to decode/get into the heads of other ENFP's too.
Now you see... with INFP's (generally) you get all that fun time Ne crazy banter and idea exchanging but with a better/higher balance of values. I prefer that. Not saying INFP's can't or won't be manipulative just that's it's different.

By my definition of healthy and mature. ENFP's would realize the consequences of their actions up to a fair point, and this would not be a problem for them. So your example, in my opinion, falls under immature and/or unhealthy behaviour.

 

[Betty Blue]

By my definition of healthy and mature. ENFP's would realize the consequences of their actions up to a fair point, and this would not be a problem for them. So your example, in my opinion, falls under immature and/or unhealthy behaviour.

Yeps... just, as i said...unhealthy ENFP behaviour. I believe most/all types have potential to be manipulative it's just something that would (esp in relationships) align well with that whole... "Oh, i can't decide...oh i can't commit, oh look...greener grass...but wait for me because i love you" thang.

EDIT: I don't hate anyone.

 

[Fluffywolf]

[MENTION=9160]HelenOfTroy[/MENTION]

Ah, I read past the mention of unhealthy, thought you were adressing ENFP's as a group. My bad.

Still, that just means that you were saying something negative about unhealthy ENFP's. Everyone can say negative things about someone that is unhealthy though, so your first sentence threw me off.