[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[shen]

Shen! LOL that was great, glad you're back.

savvy savvy souix to you too!

 

[mysavior]

Can't stand 'em.

- Drama. Its always some bullshit about something. Even if that something is nothing.
- Annoys me: "why don't you talk more?" If everyone laughs at their dumb suggestions to me, then they think its funny and that I should just get over it, but I'm just not having it.
- Paranoid.
- Always nagging me, asking me if I like them. Never satisfied with my answer, leaving me to wonder if they are feeling guilty about something, or if they are looking for affirmation: "tell me you love me. tell me you don't care about x, y, or z. tell me it doesn't bother you. tell me its not that big of a deal."

Only real positive thing I've noticed, consistently, is that they are always nice. Nothing wrong with being nice, nothing wrong with giving a shit, but for me, their "niceness" doesn't do much to overshadow the things that annoy me.

BTW, when I look at most ENFP (ESFP, for that matter.. and even ISFP) women I realize that I can be as superficial as anyone else: I've always found them attractive. But then of course as their personality begins to unravel, I reach the conclusion I stated in my first sentence, and realize that looks alone don't mean that much after all. Heh.

 

[findthejake]

oh damn... that last one kinda hurt...
too accurate there mysavior! Well done mate!
That's the kind of stuff I am looking for. Keep pouring it on people. It helps keep our egos in check if we know not everyone loves us all the time!

 

[FemMecha]

I don't think I could hate an ENFP. I typically like them. They are amazingly creative, imaginative people who are charming and charismatic. They can connect too quickly to my deeper part which makes me feel rather vulnerable because I end up getting attached to them, when it isn't reciprocated. I have gotten my feelings hurt because of this, but I know it isn't their fault so to speak. They're just so damn charming! I encounter people I 'think' are ENFPs as performers fairly often. They do often value me, but their contact is really random and not available on my terms almost ever. The ENFPs typically have all the power in my relationship to them. Or at least this has been my history so far. Never say never for future interactions.

 

[hotmale]

You can't hate ENFPs. They're lovable folks.

 

[faith]

Faith, have you tried telling her about the way you feel when she does this?

When I lived with her she was almost 70 years old, and I confess that my upbringing to respect my elders overshadows my native desire for clear and free communication. She's really a great person, in spite of all the ways she annoys me, and I don't think I have the right to suggest that she should change to suit me.

I have tried to express my feelings about the things that I thought were causing the most misunderstanding. I explained that I'm an introvert and need a lot of time alone but that doesn't mean that I'm sulking or unhappy. She exclaimed, "Oh, faith! You're not an introvert! You're a very nice person!" And hugged me.

When we were working together, we did reach an agreement about the newsletter. Or, basically, I just gave in because she's older and stuff. I let my mind roam while she talked and talked to decide what she wanted. I studied her face and her gestures and her clothing and let my thoughts wander. When she finally knew what she wanted, I brought my mind back and applied myself to the task at hand.

You can't hate ENFPs. They're lovable folks.

True. Even when they annoy the heck out of you and make you want to slice your wrists just to escape, they're still very kind and sweet and loving--and it's still impossible to hate them.

 

[Xander]

I can give one good thing which can make me really and truly hate ENFPs.

When they hate everything so much that they end up nudging me into hating things too and that's just far too emotional for me so I hate them for it.

Works better when you don't think about it.

Oh and the whole ISTJ thing when stressed is a major piss take. It's like all the "logical" reasoning in the world except without any detachment or correction of perspective.

Aside from these negative points, when the ENFP is themselves being negative and projecting such irritations (deliberately sometimes to my paranoid annoyed mind), ENFPs are real easy to get on with. Possibly the most likely type of the chatty ones to actually listen when you say "STFU I would like a bit of peace and quiet for 5 minutes". Though I wouldn't be surprised to then find myself being timed

 

[Wolf]

So...erratic...

Please, be consistent. You guys are difficult to understand and gauge because you're so random and inconsistent.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I self-identified as ENFP for some time, and now I think I might have inspired hatred by..
-being too popular
-being too damn loud
-so damn exuberant/illogical/irrational
-not giving a chance to conduct a logical conversation
-not giving a chance to go deep in any issues
-getting all the girls
-not letting any amount of ridicule hurt me
-talking people to do wild fun all the time
-trying to inspire enthusiasm all the time
-cartoonish/jokester/talk show host/clown

 

[faith]

When you make yourself obvious, people react. I doubt you've inspried much hatred... but if you have, take comfort in the thought that you've probably inspired a good deal more fun times and happiness.

 

[substitute]

Just curious if anyone out there has anything against enfp's...

We are always curious as to what people really think about us so let us have it!


anything at all....

In general, I've nothing against them. My brother is one, and we get along very well and always have. In fact I don't know anyone I'd rather go travelling with than him and another ENFP I know.

If I were going to say the one quibble, the one thing he does that can be annoying - though I've no room for complaint because I do it too and I think it's an Ne thing - it's when he goes into persuasion mode, and tends to bulldoze people into doing what he wants, to sorta bamboozle people so that they don't know whether they're coming or going and find themselves going along with whatever he says, not entirely sure why or happy with it but unable to figure out why. He does it by convincing people that the most decent thing to do, the nice thing to do, the kindest thing that would make everyone happy and be fair, is what he's saying. I do it by saying what I'm suggesting is the only logical choice, that anything else would result in disaster, that it's the only thing that'll work. When we team up together to persuade someone, we could sell snow to an Eskimo.

But I do think he pushes it a lot more than me. Long past the point where I'm backing off and thinking, "No, c'mon, he doesn't want to, leave him alone now", he's got his mind fixed on this challenge of persuading this guy, and wont let up until he does.

 

[arcticangel02]

So...erratic...

Please, be consistent. You guys are difficult to understand and gauge because you're so random and inconsistent.

But that's just 'cause we want everyone to love us, so we're constantly changing to suit everyone else! :rolli:

 

[Ivy]

So...erratic...

Please, be consistent. You guys are difficult to understand and gauge because you're so random and inconsistent.

Maybe you need to be more flexible.

 

[Totenkindly]

Maybe you need to be more flexible.

...duuuuust.... in the wind...
All P's are is duuust... in the wiiiiinnnnd....​

 

[developer]

Many years ago, a former boss of mine was an ENFP. Very nice guy, entertaining and brilliant, but a terrible boss. Always chatting away with people, always smiling, but never got anything organized or done in the department. We lived in chaos for years and everybody sighed a breath of relief when he left.

 

[Tigerlily]

I'm supposed to get along very well with ENFP's but I don't think I know any personally. The ENFP with the INFJ on here seems nice though.

 

[shen]

Many years ago, a former boss of mine was an ENFP. Very nice guy, entertaining and brilliant, but a terrible boss. Always chatting away with people, always smiling, but never got anything organized or done in the department. We lived in chaos for years and everybody sighed a breath of relief when he left.

very true, i'm sooo unorganized, i couldnt be a boss if my life depended on it everything had its place in my house, but i dont know where
i once asked if i could be a teamleader at work once and the boss nearly choked on her coffee...

 

[Maverick]

I disagree... I know several ENFP's who make GREAT leaders. It's all a question of balancing your functions. ENFP's can be really good at inspiring others and motivating them.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I would assume a big factor would be whether they are a leader who is making a lot of important decisions or a leader who is implementing the decisions made by the higher-ups.

 

[FemMecha]

I disagree... I know several ENFP's who make GREAT leaders. It's all a question of balancing your functions. ENFP's can be really good at inspiring others and motivating them.

I agree.

One important quality of leadership is the ability to delegate responsibility wisely. Having personal shortcomings does not have to hamper good leadership if the leader has enough wisdom to employ people to cover tasks in which (s)he is less proficient. An inability to perceive and admit flaws is probably the worst leadership quality.