FemMecha
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- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 14,068
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 496
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I view it from the opposite angle. If "soft" hearted has a relationship to empathy, then that means it provides insight, rather than blindness. Empathy means that not only do you realize that someone is overpricing your coffee, but there is also a sense of the silent desperation that needs to find security in an extra fifty cents. If a person has a wealth of insight and understanding, defensiveness dissolves away. The internal resources are plentiful to offer to those who are still fighting out of fear. Is it even possible to feel anger or hate without an underlying fear of powerlessness and personal violation?The logic of having a permanantly "soft" heart is that you'll be taken for a chump quite a lot, hoodwinked rather easily and give in to every doe-eyed scoundrel that scrounges the price of a coffee.
Better to have a hard heart now and again than pave your road to hell with good intentions.
Bitterness breeds many fear tactics like prejudicial thinking, overcompensation, and closing off. When hate takes over the mind, it becomes deeply irrational fighting a battle greater than it is actually presented with.
1. People of category X cause me suffering and therefore I will fight and dominate anyone of said category before they hurt me again.
2. Someone made me feel vulnerable and stupid in the past, so I am going to make everyone else feel this way in order to protect myself.
3. I cared for and trusted someone and they hurt me, so i will never care about another person.
A person can approach life defensively and steal another person's shoes that are better than his own. Or that person can be unafraid and realize that if someone does steal his shoes, he has that inner strength and wherewithall to walk without them. One is only violated if he feels dependent on that which was taken from him. A person only has to continue to fight if there is a sense that he has not yet won.