DsTeP
New member
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
- Messages
- 23
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 649
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
My parents grew up as Christians in the USSR dreaming to one day bring their child to the Great United States of America. With what seemingly looked like a Christian nation even though we are a secular state with an atheistic constitution and have had delusional presidents cough *Ronald Regan* and the Bushes. They dreamed of bringing their children to a country of freedom and intelligence one that will help them strive to their fullest potential. What with the 60's, 70's and even the dystopian 80's of lackluster movies who would blame them. They came to the states in Jan 1995 and my mom gave birth to me in March. Little did they know that the major influences of my day as a youth will be SWAG, YOLO, GUCCI, The Twerk Team and the new confusing fascination with ass hence the name for my generation. This will be blog about me talking about Generation Ass, first I'll begin with describing the new stereotypes this generation has spawned.
YOU'RE TRYING TO HARD: They are the type who make fun of others for having passion for something. If you want to commit suicide in their eyes all you need to do is dare to put a little bit of passion in something or spring it all over the place in the wake of Quagmire giggity. In other words if their mom was to try to impress them by making cookies for them and their friends their attitude towards it will be in the line of: OMG Mom you're such a fucking slutty tryhard, stop trying to get my attention and if you try to reach my sympathies to meet you half way you should know that I'm to busy being a wank tank that has his head up hiss ass and spends time smirking at my own rectal passages. In all honesty if you're one of those people waiting to choke in their own smugness you may be the one with the problem.
SPs
GYM BUFFS THAT CAN'T STOP SAYING BRO: They are bullies that swing around teasing scrawny nerds of the world with questions such as do you even lift or I spent last night spreading Nutella on your girls booty (Vitalyzdtv is their GOD.) Don't give them a Fuck You response as they will take it as a seductive compliment instead tell them to unfuck you. This will terrify them and reveal their true colors which is dick fear. The reason they act like brutes and strut around as if they are alphas is because they are afraid that their dicks are inadequate since they stopped growing at the age of 6. They also can't sway people into their side with wit as they are to busy watching Nascar, drinking cold beer while jacking off to Christian porn. What a group of hyprocritical cocksuckers that act like saved albino Neanderthals with the Johnny Bravo syndrome.
SPs and SJs
Deelpers: They are walking Deepities/intellectual Gym Buffs who aspire to one day be like the Hitch and Dawkins. They believe themselves to be deep when in reality they aren't hence the name. They can be found in Reddit or 4chan as they are to good for digg. They may also be found in your local coffee shop sporting a fedora and sitting next to a hipster.
NTs and NFs
Hipster: The Hipster is someone that needs a hot led enema stuck up their ass to help them get back to reality. They are the sexy women and men who fancy themselves to be photographers (when in reality they aren't) because they are capable of taking a black and white photo of a skyscraper and believe they are intelligent because they know how to search up George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, Oscar Wilde etc. quotes and put the two together and post it up on tumblr to save the other hipsters from ignorance. Everyone knows one of these Messiah Dipshits
NFs SPs
Derp: They are the Hispters on ADHD. These usually come in Fox Broadcaster models and prance around using "that's so random" and "you're weird" as often as a legal document uses hereby. These aliens have you questioning how Evolution can Fuck up so badly and have your eyes rolling ready to launch into your digestive system like a pachinko table.
SJs and SPs
Trolls: They are my favorite mental patients with 12 inches. They spend their lives behind screens deliberately pissing you off and your mom, your pastor, the pope with his fake twitter and your ugly ass dog that smells like ass piss because she wont leave Facebook to take a bath. If you are territorial with your girlfriend they'll recommend that you piss on her to mark her as your girlfriend, or they'll go on the Fox news website and make a comment about covering a cross with American flags and burning it because in all seriousness Fuck You and your institutions.
SPs NTs and NF's
Hackers: The Hackers are like the trolls except they grew up investing their time in jail breaking smart phones and learning to IT at the age of 12. This is the one group you don't want to Fuck with because if you do they will hack your computer and post up all of your nudes and your campus as they are able to tell the government, bureaucracy and corporations to Fuck Off with their golden balls and dick. That probe into any informational database allowing them to get a job with the government, Tech company, WikiLeaks etc. You noobs have been warned.
SPs NTs NFs
Weirdoes: They are the girls with buffy the vampire posters hanging up on their walls writing fan fictions about a teletubbies orgy, Barney the Dinosaur fucking Richard Nixon, Osama Bin Landen getting gangbanged in hell with hot lava demonic jizz going up his ass or simply one of herself and the cute Eastern European boy down the street. The boys come in the variety of cheating on internet porn with hentai and drooling uncontrollably while molesting girls, fellas before you get any ideas it doesn't work I tried it back in the 6th grade.
????
Without mentioning the Swag Fags the moral of these decapitations is that generation ass is not any more fucked up than the Breakfast Club or Fight Club genrations
YOU'RE TRYING TO HARD: They are the type who make fun of others for having passion for something. If you want to commit suicide in their eyes all you need to do is dare to put a little bit of passion in something or spring it all over the place in the wake of Quagmire giggity. In other words if their mom was to try to impress them by making cookies for them and their friends their attitude towards it will be in the line of: OMG Mom you're such a fucking slutty tryhard, stop trying to get my attention and if you try to reach my sympathies to meet you half way you should know that I'm to busy being a wank tank that has his head up hiss ass and spends time smirking at my own rectal passages. In all honesty if you're one of those people waiting to choke in their own smugness you may be the one with the problem.
SPs
GYM BUFFS THAT CAN'T STOP SAYING BRO: They are bullies that swing around teasing scrawny nerds of the world with questions such as do you even lift or I spent last night spreading Nutella on your girls booty (Vitalyzdtv is their GOD.) Don't give them a Fuck You response as they will take it as a seductive compliment instead tell them to unfuck you. This will terrify them and reveal their true colors which is dick fear. The reason they act like brutes and strut around as if they are alphas is because they are afraid that their dicks are inadequate since they stopped growing at the age of 6. They also can't sway people into their side with wit as they are to busy watching Nascar, drinking cold beer while jacking off to Christian porn. What a group of hyprocritical cocksuckers that act like saved albino Neanderthals with the Johnny Bravo syndrome.
SPs and SJs
Deelpers: They are walking Deepities/intellectual Gym Buffs who aspire to one day be like the Hitch and Dawkins. They believe themselves to be deep when in reality they aren't hence the name. They can be found in Reddit or 4chan as they are to good for digg. They may also be found in your local coffee shop sporting a fedora and sitting next to a hipster.
NTs and NFs
Hipster: The Hipster is someone that needs a hot led enema stuck up their ass to help them get back to reality. They are the sexy women and men who fancy themselves to be photographers (when in reality they aren't) because they are capable of taking a black and white photo of a skyscraper and believe they are intelligent because they know how to search up George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, Oscar Wilde etc. quotes and put the two together and post it up on tumblr to save the other hipsters from ignorance. Everyone knows one of these Messiah Dipshits
NFs SPs
Derp: They are the Hispters on ADHD. These usually come in Fox Broadcaster models and prance around using "that's so random" and "you're weird" as often as a legal document uses hereby. These aliens have you questioning how Evolution can Fuck up so badly and have your eyes rolling ready to launch into your digestive system like a pachinko table.
SJs and SPs
Trolls: They are my favorite mental patients with 12 inches. They spend their lives behind screens deliberately pissing you off and your mom, your pastor, the pope with his fake twitter and your ugly ass dog that smells like ass piss because she wont leave Facebook to take a bath. If you are territorial with your girlfriend they'll recommend that you piss on her to mark her as your girlfriend, or they'll go on the Fox news website and make a comment about covering a cross with American flags and burning it because in all seriousness Fuck You and your institutions.
SPs NTs and NF's
Hackers: The Hackers are like the trolls except they grew up investing their time in jail breaking smart phones and learning to IT at the age of 12. This is the one group you don't want to Fuck with because if you do they will hack your computer and post up all of your nudes and your campus as they are able to tell the government, bureaucracy and corporations to Fuck Off with their golden balls and dick. That probe into any informational database allowing them to get a job with the government, Tech company, WikiLeaks etc. You noobs have been warned.
SPs NTs NFs
Weirdoes: They are the girls with buffy the vampire posters hanging up on their walls writing fan fictions about a teletubbies orgy, Barney the Dinosaur fucking Richard Nixon, Osama Bin Landen getting gangbanged in hell with hot lava demonic jizz going up his ass or simply one of herself and the cute Eastern European boy down the street. The boys come in the variety of cheating on internet porn with hentai and drooling uncontrollably while molesting girls, fellas before you get any ideas it doesn't work I tried it back in the 6th grade.
????
Without mentioning the Swag Fags the moral of these decapitations is that generation ass is not any more fucked up than the Breakfast Club or Fight Club genrations
