feeling melancholy today

[INTJMom]

I hate it when I feel this way. I got the wind knocked out of me... lost my confidence... it's a downward spiral.

I have to work tomorrow, and sadly, I'm not looking forward to it. I wish the job wasn't so intense... I guess it won't be so bad later on... I will have to find a way to keep enjoying it... I keep reminding myself to be thankful I at least have a job. Times are so hard for so many people.

I guess I can look forward to Celebrate Recovery on Wednesday. That usually makes me feel better.

I'm looking forward to Friday night music practice, too. I really love those guys.

Sunday, one of them was teasing me, and I made a comment, and he said, "I'm afraid of you."
I was hoping he wasn't serious, and I went over to him and asked him - real nice "F" guy - "You're not really afraid of me, are you?"
"No," he said, and then after a moment, "that's like being afraid of roses!"
That has got to be one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me, especially because of how I used to be. I used to be very prickly. God has healed me and softened my heart and made me better... more like I really wanted to be. I'm glad I'm not like I used to be.

So. Work tomorrow.

 

[Falcarius]

I Hope you feel better soon.

How have you been getting on with the music?

 

[INTJMom]

Thanks for the hug.

I have been enjoying the music immensely.
Thanks for asking.
I am building my confidence back up to where it used to be
by learning to play songs I used to think were too hard for me to learn.
I'm also enjoying the camaraderie of the other musicians.
We learned two new songs last week and I loved them.
It's definitely one of the highlights of my week.

How are you doing?

 

[proteanmix]

I was reading an Amy Winehouse interview last week and she made this really sad comment..epiphany you would call it about the stark reality of her life. The brutal self-honesty was startling. I was toying with that idea as a thread, but eh.

It's good to know that you've gotten to a better point in your life and you've traveled in the right direction.

 

[INTJMom]

Yes. It is good.
Thanks for the comment.

 

[Salomé]

Melancholia - such a lovely word. Such an irony.
Feel better!

 

[INTJMom]

Thanks.