[Fe] Fe=but I want it now!

[LavaLucy]

Now I can't find the post (and hell yes it's annoying me!) probably in a Fe vs Fi thread and they were talking about how Fe needs something present to react off compared to Fi.
So I was thinking of my best friend who's and INFP so she can be my example. Maybe I'd see her today. Then tomorrow I'd probably miss her. And I keep having to renew ... feel lonely I suppose when someone isn't present at a particular time even if I saw them recently it can feel like a long time ago.
She on the other hand could go for I'm betting months without seeing someone and still feel just as close to them or content.
Same like I could watch something I liked over and over and over again and I actually have to stop myself from doing it before I wear whatever it is out, where she would watch a movie once and say, I've seen it why would I see it again?

So are these differences between Fe and Fi? I guess is my question or is it just me
I am a bit jealous that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.

 

[Athenian200]

Actually, my experience is that Fi is clingier, has more trouble letting go of a past emotion... and can be stuck dwelling on and nursing the pain longer than Fe.

I suppose if what you're talking about is an intense, positive emotion or connection, holding onto it longer would be good. But if it's bad... unfortunately, they hold onto that longer, too.

I probably don't experience the side of the equation you're talking about quite as often, because I manage to sate loneliness with books, games, forums, etc, rather than individual real people most of the time.

I guess for some reason, I see being able to move on from negative emotions quickly as a greater advantage than being able to hold on to positive ones longer.

 

[Amargith]

you guys might be on to something. I am horrendous at keeping in touch with people I don't see automatically on a frequent basis in my life. Really suck at it. However, and I make sure people know this, it doesn't mean that I don't think of em, or don't like em. And when we do bump into each other, it's like we just saw each other yesterday, and the click is usually perfectly intact. The moment I see them, and they say one sentence, all the emotions I had with them last time come flooding back, and it's like we were never apart. Occasionally, they will have changed (or I maybe have), and the click doesn't get established anymore coz the memory doesn't correspond with the actual person now.

On the other hand, in a relationship gone bad, I remember the good emotions, the reason we got together. And I will be unwilling to accept the situation as it is now. I will do my very best to get us back to that beginning, as it was once possible and I see no reason for it not to be possible again. I treasure and cherish those good emotions and am able to 'balance out' the bad ones he gives me at that point, though it still hurts like hell. Eventually it tears you apart though. It becomes a useless chase to get a 'fix' of those good emotions and everytime you actually do get a bit of those good emotions, it increases your hope that you can restore it.


But, to get back to the OP, yes, as long as we parted in friendship last time, I have no problem not seeing you for a while as I carry those emotions with you and they are triggered whenever I think of you. And I will be very excited to see you again the next time I run into you as I remember how good I felt with you last time.

 

[Littlelostnf]

you guys might be on to something. I am horrendous at keeping in touch with people I don't see automatically on a frequent basis in my life. Really suck at it. However, and I make sure people know this, it doesn't mean that I don't think of em, or don't like em. And when we do bump into each other, it's like we just saw each other yesterday, and the click is usually perfectly intact. The moment I see them, and they say one sentence, all the emotions I had with them last time come flooding back, and it's like we were never apart. Occasionally, they will have changed (or I maybe have), and the click doesn't get established anymore coz the memory doesn't correspond with the actual person now.

On the other hand, in a relationship gone bad, I remember the good emotions, the reason we got together. And I will be unwilling to accept the situation as it is now. I will do my very best to get us back to that beginning, as it was once possible and I see no reason for it not to be possible again. I treasure and cherish those good emotions and am able to 'balance out' the bad ones he gives me at that point, though it still hurts like hell. Eventually it tears you apart though. It becomes a useless chase to get a 'fix' of those good emotions and everytime you actually do get a bit of those good emotions, it increases your hope that you can restore it.


But, to get back to the OP, yes, as long as we parted in friendship last time, I have no problem not seeing you for a while as I carry those emotions with you and they are triggered whenever I think of you. And I will be very excited to see you again the next time I run into you as I remember how good I felt with you last time.

I'm chock full of Fe and I can go months and months not seeing a friend and when I do it's right back into the groove of things. I think about them and it's not that I don't want to see them but life gets in the way. I too suck at keeping in touch (even with email and social sites and such) but I do have my friends always at an accessible place right at the front of things. I suppose for me if they are there in that space then I know everything is alright. But as for feeling lonely if I don't see them physically...nope that doesn't really happen. Sorry if I'm messing up the theory at all. My Fe is primary of course and it still is very much like this for me and always has been.

 

[Littlelostnf]

Now I can't find the post (and hell yes it's annoying me!) probably in a Fe vs Fi thread and they were talking about how Fe needs something present to react off compared to Fi.
So I was thinking of my best friend who's and INFP so she can be my example. Maybe I'd see her today. Then tomorrow I'd probably miss her. And I keep having to renew ... feel lonely I suppose when someone isn't present at a particular time even if I saw them recently it can feel like a long time ago.
She on the other hand could go for I'm betting months without seeing someone and still feel just as close to them or content.
Same like I could watch something I liked over and over and over again and I actually have to stop myself from doing it before I wear whatever it is out, where she would watch a movie once and say, I've seen it why would I see it again?

So are these differences between Fe and Fi? I guess is my question or is it just me
I am a bit jealous that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.

I have a friend who is INFP who watches movies over and over and over and sometimes if I really love them I will too but not with the intensity or frequency that she does. She is primary Fi me Fe. Fe can def hold onto emotions..maybe there is something else going on there?

 

[Amargith]

Oh right, the movie thing...yeah I can watch a movie over and over again as well. But that's usually films that made me feel so good, that I wanna relieve those intense emotions time and time again

People...aren't as predictable in giving you that good vibe again, though in stable relationships, you can be fairly certain. Meeting people is a more mixed blessing though, as it can be quite an unpredictable emotional rollercoaster ride which can be really bad or really good in the end.

 

[Athenian200]

I'm chock full of Fe and I can go months and months not seeing a friend and when I do it's right back into the groove of things. I think about them and it's not that I don't want to see them but life gets in the way. I too suck at keeping in touch (even with email and social sites and such) but I do have my friends always at an accessible place right at the front of things. I suppose for me if they are there in that space then I know everything is alright. But as for feeling lonely if I don't see them physically...nope that doesn't really happen. Sorry if I'm messing up the theory at all. My Fe is primary of course and it still is very much like this for me and always has been.

Well, that's interesting, too. I'm not very good at keeping in touch either, and I don't feel lonely if I don't see them. It's just that my positive (or negative) feelings towards them seem to gradually return to neutral over time without contact.

 

[lorkan]

I try to have (and keep) contact with people through msn. I feel I can talk to most of the people on my contact list, although sometimes I need to create a stronger connection and understanding with some of them to keep feeling "safe", because over time we can feel like aliens to eachother if we not have interracted. But over all this is like NFJ social masterplan, thihi. No but seriously I try to stay connected to people, but I just so treasure my lonely time also.

 

[garbage]

Actually, my experience is that Fi is clingier, has more trouble letting go of a past emotion... and can be stuck dwelling on and nursing the pain longer than Fe.

I suppose if what you're talking about is an intense, positive emotion or connection, holding onto it longer would be good. But if it's bad... unfortunately, they hold onto that longer, too.

I think this about nails it. Fi holds onto everything longer, for good or for bad.

My ENFJ friend seems to need constant reassurance from me about the nature of our friendship, whereas.. well, I don't. When we get into arguments, I also tend to hold onto them longer and need more time to cool down and put things into perspective.

 

[IEE623]

Empirically speaking as an ENFP, I don't think Fi's hold onto past strong emotions longer than Fe's. I could identify all my experiences well with the first post of the OP. I could go on months without talking to my far-away best friend and still feel as close as before when "re"-connected. As a matter of fact, I suck at keeping in touch. I would spontaneously and sporadically pop up and say hi on IM or just give my far-away friends a call from time to time, but ONLY when my Fi feels like doing so. It means, if my auxiliary Fi gets caught up with all the exciting possibilities or ideas that my primary Ne generates for my immediate surroundings, my close yet long-distant friends might not be able get a hold of me for a very long period of time (possibly 4 to 6 months).

I extremely dislike doing it from the force of obligations and responsibilities. If any of my friends could not keep up with that or insist that I have to keep in touch on a regular basis without compromising, I would gradually distant myself.

But for Fe, I think it would be quite different. If they do hold a high value about their friendship and consciously or subconsciously define the course of the relationship, they would follow what they "feel" they ought to do that fits with the "title" they named/defined their relationship. Therefore, if an Fe goes on a long period of time without keeping in touch with someone, it means that they already stated in their mind that that particular relationship does not have to have constant keep-in-touch.

 

[the state i am in]

i got called a leach the other day. it's not really untrue. if i don't have feelings around me to connect with, i start to flop around like a fish. i lose my desire to participate in the world and my sense of identity, as a material entity, etc. everything just feels a little too grey, so i think i'll just stay in bed.

movies, music, etc- i'm tired of binging on fast food emotions.

 

[BlueScreen]

So are these differences between Fe and Fi? I guess is my question or is it just me
I am a bit jealous that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.

I think it is an Ni - Ne difference also. The whole being more decisive, and less open ended. Ne seems interested in entertaining ideas long past their used by date, just in case there is something in them.

 

["?"]

you guys might be on to something. I am horrendous at keeping in touch with people I don't see automatically on a frequent basis in my life. Really suck at it. However, and I make sure people know this, it doesn't mean that I don't think of em, or don't like em. And when we do bump into each other, it's like we just saw each other yesterday, and the click is usually perfectly intact. The moment I see them, and they say one sentence, all the emotions I had with them last time come flooding back, and it's like we were never apart. Occasionally, they will have changed (or I maybe have), and the click doesn't get established anymore coz the memory doesn't correspond with the actual person now.

It's interesting that you say this and I guess it's an ENFP thing because my son does it as well. However what he does not realize is that it's not always commonly shared and he appears superficial (even with close family) in waltzing in as though he just saw them yesterday. I have routinely witnessed this and I want to take him aside during the encounter and say, stop, assess and then act.

 

[Skyward]

From what Ive been thinking, the Extraverted judging functions aren't "pure" forms of the function definition. Te is more of a 'How will that help this plan?' function while Ti is a 'Is this accurate? Oop I see a logic anomaly!'

With F, Fe does seem more superficial (And since it plays on people, while Te just plays on data, it seems more leechy and controlling. That is why people envy ETJs and generally get bugged by EFJs, I think.)

Since Fe is more about 'Titling' things and people according to the status quo, and less about an internal passion, it makes it seem more fake and insubstantial. This, I think, makes it more useful from a Director of Human Resources standpoint compared to Fi. Which would do very well in a more, say, Theatrical standpoint.

And I just thought about how Fe/Ni and Fi/Ne get to understand people. Since I'm an INFJ, I dont know exactly how an NFP would do it (I think they're just very accurate at reading how people feel right now and sort of use it as a template for moving forward with Ne)

With Fe/Ni I think it bases it off of a deep Ni-tuition into the person compared to the status quo (Fe finds the one that fits the situation the best and can quickly understand deviations from it. Ni makes this especially useful in a people standpoint). With me, Ni comes first and probes for vibes and Fe comes in trying to find a path to take with them. I have a strong Ti, and that constructs an idea of what the person is. I use Se to move with what I know.

I rambled a lot, and slightly off-topic, but I think it's pretty solid (Emphasize 'I think'). But one last example of Fi vs Fe. I recollected a scene of Africans in their colorful clothing walking in a city. The first thing I thought was "That doesn't fit right..." Then what I think was shadow Fi tapped my mind on the shoulder and said "They're proud of their heritage, you should respect that" so I did.

With Fi they, I believe, would automatically respect the heritage because they can empathize more readily with people on a more close level. (Fi reaching out with Ne - or Ne pulling Fi)


Sorry for the long and somewhat disjointed post, but I feel that the information is useful.

 

[LavaLucy]

Many interesting replies

i got called a leach the other day. it's not really untrue. if i don't have feelings around me to connect with, i start to flop around like a fish. i lose my desire to participate in the world and my sense of identity, as a material entity, etc. everything just feels a little too grey, so i think i'll just stay in bed.

movies, music, etc- i'm tired of binging on fast food emotions.

I can relate to this I can.

 

[Mort Belfry]

that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.

It's not that she's able to hold onto emotion; it's just that her Ne, on the instructions of her Fi, has her fantasizing about strained relationships to give her the illusion of closeness.

The only reason why she doesn't seem as lonely as you is that's she's able to keep her friends inside her head.

 

[batumi]

i got called a leach the other day. it's not really untrue. if i don't have feelings around me to connect with, i start to flop around like a fish. i lose my desire to participate in the world and my sense of identity, as a material entity, etc. everything just feels a little too grey, so i think i'll just stay in bed.

movies, music, etc- i'm tired of binging on fast food emotions.

I also can relate to this.

 

[lorkan]

I also can relate to this.

Yes me also.... I actually feel like this atm :/

 

[ataru]

Interesting

 

[Tilt]

I am absolutely horrible at this... if you get a non-work text from me a couple times a month that means we're good friends.