[MBTI General] ENTPs and INFJs

[Sniffles]

Humour is indeed a good medicine, and ENTPs are no doubt good in the humour department - I won't deny that. However in many situations as you describe, the forms of humour they resort to do more harm than good. Again, it's like being kicked in the balls and as I'm lying on the ground in pain, the ENTP is laughing and telling me to get a sense of humour.

 

[cascadeco]

Humour is indeed a good medicine, and ENTPs are no doubt good in the humour department - I won't deny that. However in many situations as you describe, the forms of humour they resort to do more harm than good. Again, it's like being kicked in the balls and as I'm lying on the ground in pain, the ENTP is laughing and telling me to get a sense of humour.

Hmm, I don't know that I've experienced this, but maybe it's more guy-guy 'comraderie' (I know, spelling error) than anything. I dunno.

 

[Sniffles]

Hmm, I don't know that I've experienced this, but maybe it's more guy-guy 'comraderie' (I know, spelling error) than anything. I dunno.

Well Im speaking from experience. And guys do like to banter, and Im no exception.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I'm actually pretty good at keeping my mouth shut, but I'm not sure if this is due to a healthy reason or not. I understand that every situation has a 'mourning' period if you will, but acceptance comes quickly after, and jokes do well at bringing this around.

 

[cafe]

Enter INTP stage left.

INTP: Hi, INFJ.
INFJ: Hi.
INTP: Do you mind if I'm mostly silent for the rest of the evening?
INFJ: No. I much prefer it.
INTP:
INFJ:

The End

I've been being mostly silent with my INTP pretty happily for the last 18 years. Being with him is as soothing as being alone the majority of the time.

 

[VYCanisMajoris]

i'm thinking I wanna date an ENTP... i've dated plenty of women who have been VERY like me in terms of interests... and they didn't work out. However, I think our MB type would probably be far off... ussually the dreaded "F" word lol...

]Maybe if I dated another ENTP... or something NT (well, someone NT )

 

[ReadingRainbows]

I think entp friends are absolutely lovely

I don't know if I'd ever date one again.

Maybe if we where extra good together.

I'm more into introverts.

 

[VYCanisMajoris]

Rainbows what was it that bothered you about them?

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

We're too charming.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Rainbows what was it that bothered you about them?

Nothing in particular. My uncle is actually an ENTP, and I dated an ENTP guy in highschool. I haven't really been in constant contact with any others in the RL zone. Ya'll are really nice to me, and put up with my analyzation probably farther than most types would. I find it easier to trust Fe dominant types in general moreso than any others. I've also been very very drawn to feeling men since I can remember, and have dated more XXFX than XXTX types. I'm rarely attracted to anyone enough to want a relationship like that anyways. But for friends, I absolutely love entps. They are great to talk with

 

[proximo]

And what better way to make something more human than to berate it?

"The devil cannot stand to be mocked", as they say...

I dunno, I reckon Peguy, you kinda *are* a bit prickly, and combine that with perhaps you happening to know one or two ENTP's who are particularly merciless, that could account for your perception of the type in general... I feel quite sure that most ENTP's, if they do go "below the belt", it's accidental, not realising how sensitive a spot it is they're touching and, once they're into their late 20's, have usually figured this one out and get better at avoiding it as they get older. If you know one/some that actually likes to upset people and finds it funny, I shouldn't ascribe that to their type - that's a personality flaw, a sign of a malicious person, and you can get nasty versions of all types.

 

[entropie]

I've seen or started myself many threads regarding the ENTP and INFJ relation over the years and it tends to go like all seemingly INFJs claim to have an seemingly intp boyfriend and find entps too insolent. On the other hand, I as an entp find it to be a challenge to talk to most INFJs, because they come off as arrogant and insolent to me.

So this personally for me, could be a cultural thing, in discussion with INFJs is often very taxing, cause I think their behaviour sucks and I dont like it.

I really havent found a solution to this whole thing yet, nor an explanation, I personally am a guy who has high standards regarding personal relationships, which has brought me to the point of becoming kinda sensitive at times. There are many things regarding sensitivity and how you can phrase things wrong and hurt your partner with it, I learned thru my girl, not by doing it wrong, but because she holds standards like unconditional loyality to be the most important in a relationship. And I am a very jealous guy, but for the first time in my life, I have found a person, who has never given me a reason to be jealous with ( I still can make reasons up tho ).

I thought for a long time, following my understanding of mbti that my girlfriend is INFJ. She took a german version of the mbti test once, which I think sucks and she scored infp in it. I myself scored entj as I do always, I never really score as entp ( nevertheless I think I am one, cause all things I've experienced on the forums and studied about the matter, let me feel more entp than anything else ).

So following this, I've to admit that I dont know any INFJs; except for some INFJs on this board, I dont like the major part of them and it seems to be a coincidence they all share the same type. I still find most INFJs to judge too quickly or speak their minds without thinking first and I dont think thats ever gonna really change. I too try not to tolerate those, I dont like, cause I find it to be a major learning experience for oneself if you tell them that you think they suck.

Thats my personal opinion on the topic, I know its not very good and I am sorry about that, it could be tho a cultural thing too.

Where synarch is very into kuudere girls, I more seek for wisdom and concinnity in woman.

 

[Riva]

My conversations with INFJs haven't been very good (except with SIB!, Fidelia and Lux). i say a lot of sweet (coldblooded, rude) things that are misinterpreted and manages to to offend INFJs. And there are time I feel that I am walking on egg shells. Many times I've had to explain myself to be forgiven. Which is kind of odd since NFs are supposed to be understanding? Surely it hasn't always proven to be correct.

 

[proximo]

I myself scored entj as I do always, I never really score as entp ( nevertheless I think I am one, cause all things I've experienced on the forums and studied about the matter, let me feel more entp than anything else ).

Where synarch is very into kuudere girls, I more seek for wisdom and concinnity in woman.

I also often test as ENTJ, and I tend to find ISFJ's much less difficult to "deal with" than INFJ's in general... I've seen ENTJ's here often talk about how they like ISFJ's and I've often read about them being a good match for each other.

This is gonna sound weird and stupid I know, but work with me here, it's a work in progress lol... If I read the profiles of how a mature, well-balanced INFJ can be, it does seem appealing to me. But the ones I've met and seen on here have been quite far from that picture. If you take the best and worst of both INFJ and ISFJ, I still feel like, given a choice of two evils, I'd rather deal with an unbalanced ISFJ than an unbalanced or even "middle-range" INFJ. But, if such a person existed as the mature and balanced, positive yet quietly eccentric picture I get from the INFJ profiles, I'd prefer them hands down to any kind of ISFJ. Perhaps this is the most telling sign that I'm ENTP with good Te, and not ENTJ with good Ne?

 

[cafe]

ENTPs seem fun, but it seems like they are a bit Tiggery and sometimes when they are being bouncy, trouncey, flouncy, pouncey fun fun fun fun fun they bump you a little too hard and when you are snappish because it didn't feel very good, they get their feelings hurt.

Also, the charming thing, for me, is true. I'm insecure and an extroverted spouse would make me feel threatened, I think.

And I don't have much energy and need a lot of time in my head and that would frustrate an extrovert and drain me.

I don't really find ENTPs insolent. The INTs (especially INTJs) are the ones who tend to be insolent, IMO. Obviously not all of them.

I am certainly not everyone's cup of tea. I run into guys who think they want someone like me, but they don't have to live with me and put up with me. I'm fairly demanding, yet I screw up a lot of details via absent-mindedness and I'm not terribly industrious. I require a patient, low-maintenance partner who is a bit on the passive side. My INTP calls himself my whipped cracker, but it works because he's a bit of a masochist.

 

[entropie]

I also often test as ENTJ, and I tend to find ISFJ's much less difficult to "deal with" than INFJ's in general... I've seen ENTJ's here often talk about how they like ISFJ's and I've often read about them being a good match for each other.

This is gonna sound weird and stupid I know, but work with me here, it's a work in progress lol... If I read the profiles of how a mature, well-balanced INFJ can be, it does seem appealing to me. But the ones I've met and seen on here have been quite far from that picture. If you take the best and worst of both INFJ and ISFJ, I still feel like, given a choice of two evils, I'd rather deal with an unbalanced ISFJ than an unbalanced or even "middle-range" INFJ. But, if such a person existed as the mature and balanced, positive yet quietly eccentric picture I get from the INFJ profiles, I'd prefer them hands down to any kind of ISFJ. Perhaps this is the most telling sign that I'm ENTP with good Te, and not ENTJ with good Ne?

Well you must be ENTP cause you turned a discussion about INFJs into a discussion about you and thats what we entps do .

I've gotten your point but I cant really tell you much, cause I've experienced with mbti the moment you think you understood something and had an elightenment about the inner workings of a system the next moment you stumble across another idea and your previously made assumption is flawed.

I think in the end its not really about the INFJ or ISFJ type themselves, because this whole typing shit is shit and will in 100 years never really work.

But what is intresting to me are the people who give themselves the INFJ prefix. They generellay consider themselves to be lost souls not really fitting into society but can be so abrasive on the outside that you know in an instant why they have no friends and rather have pity with them and be their friends. if you think about that you can extrapolate that on other N-types aswell.

The thing then is an ISFJ is described in mbti as "the Nurturer". Someone who claims that to be for himself must automatically have a more experienced sense for responsibility about his own life / must be somewhat older than the dirty rest.

Anf if you think of that, you maybe can say that the discrepancy isnt within the types itself but within the weilders of the type titles and their expectations they have to be perceived as when choosing such a title for themselves.

The only reason, I am not ENTJ, disregarding whether I have strong Te or any shit of that kind, is because I dont want to be. I like the idea of the somewhat crazy and funny inventor type everyone likes but tries to not get to close to for own safety rather compelling than the responsible, capable leader everyone can depend on.

And tho I try to lead my life like a ressourceful capable leader everyone can rely on, in my dreams I'll always stay crazy math boy, who blows the house to heaven

 

[proximo]

Well you must be ENTP cause you turned a discussion about INFJs into a discussion about you and thats what we entps do .

But... but... I didn't mean to!
I'm all about the idea, not me... it's just easier to work through an idea (compatability of ENTP & INFJ as per the OP) with myself as the subject of it, cos, well, obvious reasons!

Oh well, scratch that then - it was just an idea, but now I re-read it, it's obviously bollocks

 

[entropie]

It's ok , never in no life situation put a dampener on enthusiasm or one has to face my deadly chainsaw

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I get ENTJ everynow and again, and I find that if I were a true J I would be introverted (this is me personally), but I'm an extrovert so it MUST be a P. My best friend is an INFJ. I can see how some feel that the general attitude of these types is slightly arrogant, but he was the only one capable of dealing with me and my craziness. I can't tell you how many times I made him snap, but he still allows me in.

 

[Sniffles]

"The devil cannot stand to be mocked", as they say...

I dunno, I reckon Peguy, you kinda *are* a bit prickly, and combine that with perhaps you happening to know one or two ENTP's who are particularly merciless, that could account for your perception of the type in general... I feel quite sure that most ENTP's, if they do go "below the belt", it's accidental, not realising how sensitive a spot it is they're touching and, once they're into their late 20's, have usually figured this one out and get better at avoiding it as they get older. If you know one/some that actually likes to upset people and finds it funny, I shouldn't ascribe that to their type - that's a personality flaw, a sign of a malicious person, and you can get nasty versions of all types.

I know there are nasty versions of all types, and I'm not saying that's the essence of all ENTPs. Overall I get along fine with ENTPs, but from experience I find I get along with you guys best when I don't allow you in too close.