[ENFP] ENFP+INTJ=Disasterous Combo o' love

[Poki]

[YOUTUBE="ZaI2IlHwmgQ"]Pump it[/YOUTUBE]

Any INTJs up for some STP driving

edit: im done, back to the regular ENFP + INTJ programming.

 

[SillySapienne]

The fist pump is a celebratory gesture in which a closed fist is raised before the torso and subsequently drawn down and nearer to the body in a vigorous, swift motion.The fist pump is sometimes carried out in parts of the Western Hemisphere, Europe, and Japan (where it is known as guts pose) to denote enthusiasm, exuberance, or success and may be accompanied by a similarly energetic exclamation or vociferation. The gesture may be executed once or in a rapid series.

Though they are notably conspicuous in sporting activities (especially upon the attainment of a goal or score), fist pumps are present in a wide range of other industries including real estate marketing, naval engineering, information technology and entertainment.

lulz

 

[onemoretime]

I'm seeking to understand, not to convert. I wonder if you do the same. Coz although I by now understand why it is Fe-users see it the way they do, and I've signalled that as such, I have yet to see any clues of understanding from your side. And I am trying to explain..but I wonder if it's an explanation you want, if you seek to understand, or if you seek to convert. To make me see the error of my ways. You say 'others have these reactions and responses others have to your actions'. Untrue. These are the responses and reactions *you* have to me, and other people who feel the way you do. Fe-users aren't the majority though. There's just as many Fi users, and I don't see you catering to them, or trying to adjust to their needs. To realize the consequences of your actions on them.

Who said anything about catering to anyone?

The thing is, I don't think you do realize why we come from the places we do... because we all come from different places! I cannot stand church-lady style Fe, and I've written threads about how I've come to loggerheads with ENFJs I've known. That's because my Fe is an outgrowth of Aux Ti, it's not what I was initially inclined to do! To me, Fe is a logical means to an end, a means of maximizing emotional utility. It's respectful and fair. It lets me be me, and you be you, and us both to love each other for that. It shares its joy with the world and takes joy in the sharing.

What are these consequences of which you speak? Social conformity? I don't particularly like that, and agree that it's unfair to impose standards just for the sake of imposing standards.

I was hoping to show you that there are two ways, that we could exchange our views in an attempt to understand one another better. Not judge which one is better, or more preferable. But to rise above our differences alttongue and gain from it, so we can adjust to the people we meet, according to who they are, instead of converting everyone to our own little system. Is there any way you can distance yourself from your 'preferred methods' and see that there is in fact an other way, and although it might not be your cup of tea, it has its place and purpose?

Here's the thing - yes, there's a time and a place for everything. Yes, there are two ways of exercising the F function. However, they're not equal. Neither are Te and Ti. Ji is simply not compatible with the outside world. It's entirely impractical outside of our internal psyches. It's why Perceivers of all types (including myself) seem unbalanced until we mature.

I've heard many complain that Ti analysis of a person can seem akin to an evisceration of sorts. This is entirely true, and why developing Fe to soften the process is so important. However, and I'm sorry to use such emotionally charged language, but it's the best I can think of, this Fi "nudging" you speak of? It strikes me the same way that the idea of date rape does. You're using a technique to force yourself into somewhere that the other person has not necessarily agreed for you to go. Is it OK for someone to drug and date rape someone, even if their partner would have had consensual sex with them that evening without the drug?

I think this is part of why we respond so strongly to these concepts.

 

[sculpting]

So to start-remember much of what you are seeing is totally subconcsious. It is not planned, methodical, thus doesnt really qualify as manipulative. It is just our natural behavioral modes.

I think it's like a huge faux pas for me, because it makes reality "selective".

So when someone tries to "manipulate" me, it's like a cardinal sin, because they are trying to narrow down, skew, the possible Ne associations that is there for my taking. And, they're trying to decide which "Ne" would be valid/should be presented to me/for me.

That's amazingly beautiful.. I think that may be an Ne thing.

:steam: This makes me so angry! And, angry at Fi for such things. And, wary of Fi because of it, because it's not seeking truth but impact.

That makes sense, thank you. I guess, my response is, it seems awfully draining to mirror the pain response. Why not tap into your databank of memory: you know what pain is/was like, its debilitating capacity, so now that you see it, you help, given that you have an understanding of what pain is?

Not necessarily needing to mirror it first. Seems the easier (least energy-taxing) route.

On the Fi threads mirroring was brought up. It isnt really a choice-it is an innate biological response. I dont choose it, it just happens. Evolution found a cute way to cheat and insure that we aid the weakest members of the group, as otherwise we suffer their pain. So while I can pick these behaviors apart and describe them analytically, recognize they are as innate as your Ti/Fe. When I cheated with Fe, Fi went away. It was so calm and peaceful.

I would suggest Fi is the most draining of the judging functions to use.

As for Fi truth? For another Fi user, it is the truth, albeit then judged according to the standards of Te. Yes, help them through pain, react to the Fi presentation, but then apply Te to give them advice-ie tell them what they need to do. Te is pretty fucking bossy. But from the perspective of Fe, it looks like Fi just won. But later the other Fi users will observe if the Fi user repeats and then judge them via Te accordingly. Te is fucking harsh.

I guess my question is, why take such turns in the first place? Why play this game? Why put one person in the position of "weakness"/taking, and the other in a position of "strength"/giving?

Why not give and take because you can and want to give, and the other decides (independently) that they can and want to, take?

.....not to play out this dynamic of (to me: energy draining) strength/weakness, dominance/submission [read: manipulation]. And repeat. Ad nauseum.

I guess, I have a hard time boosting someone's ego, worth, by making myself appear "weak". Or ever wanting that from the other. I can't see it as a "flirt".

I rather meet them as a challenge, a worthy "opponent", and through that interaction, we give nods: him to certain strength in skills of mine, as I do to his. And we learn. To mimic his skills to patch my weakness. And, him, the same to me.

And, we realize how better we can challenge an "outsider" given that we've figured out how to "dance", skills pitted against each other, now working in tandem.

It's like in a "fight", where in the beginning it's clumsy, unpredictable, watching two people go at it, and then, if they do it enough, both giving it their all (their honest worth), soon, the "fight" turns into a dance, and they sway to each other's movement. Because they've learned, respected, and appreciated each other's skills. And, anticipated each other's weakness, and the one with the weakness has learned how to turn it into a strength by watching the other. Without bowing down. Without manipulation.

One step forward, two step back. Two steps forward, one step back. <- this is what Fi "manipulation" feels like to me, never progressing anywhere.

Versus

One step forward, shake me, break me, if you can't, one more step forward I shall move. Onwards. Always. Never "back". <- this is how I see interactions without such "manipulation".

To be honest-
Ti often feels "mean" and Fe feels "manipulative" from my perspective. I always thought that the Fe and Ti users were playing mean games and manipulating each other and calling it flirting. But in reality, that game is how you do exactly what you describe above. It's how you bond. If Ti is logical, competitive understanding and Fe is warm compassion with social reciprocal bonds-well you mix those up in layers as you describe above and forge a deeper connection.

It's the same game with the same end, but played through a different set of functions-Te and Fi. So it looks very different. Te is an assertive function and Fi an empathic one, so the game looks very different, trading of assertive protection with softness, understanding, but back in forth, deeper and deeper to forge those connection. Same result in the end.

I could never match the ENTPs dance steps and got hurt over and over again. However to play the Te/Fi game is exceptionally easy and very natural. It just flows with no thought needed. You just do exactly what pops into your head because that is the right answer. I cant emphasize how simple it feels. It may not work out between particular individuals but the cadence is very natural.

Lots to talk about...

And for that one in a million, great. For the 999,999 without Fe that crash and burn behind him or her, wallowing in self-pity and contempt towards those who didn't recognize their greatness, well, that's a sad existence.

I need to make more observations. I havent seen this trend but I havent been watching closely enough.

 

[SillySapienne]

[YOUTUBE="ZaI2IlHwmgQ"]Pump it[/YOUTUBE]

Any INTJs up for some STP driving

edit: im done, back to the regular ENFP + INTJ programming.

I'm not done, yet, nope, Fergie at 2:55, oh my!!!!



I am soon going to be taking belly dancing classes and would love to integrate them with hip hop moves.

So very sensual!



(And, thank you, you temporarily got that, er, other song out of my head )

 

[sculpting]

You mischaracterize my argument. I consider the selfish behavior to be in imposing one's will upon others without regard to volition. It disrespects their right to self-determination of emotional states.

It's not the union, it's the compulsion. It's using emotional power to compel someone to act or respond in a certain way. It's in a sense, enslaving that person to one's will.

Simply by being an Fi user, we are already bound to compel and be compelled by the other. It's just how the function works.

Use of the function isnt disrespectful as to another Fi user it is perfectly reasonable.

Use of the function on another non-Fi person also isnt disrespectful-just totally misunderstood by both parties.

(Now once you get that then you can do really cool things like corner ENTPs in meetings and stare at them with googly Fi eyes so they cant think anymore. Then have the ENTP on your side ask them to make really important decisions. That would be manipulation.)

 

[onemoretime]

onemoretime, first of all, I hear that Daft punk song whenever I read/write your username

YouTube - Daft Punk - One More Time (Original) [High Quality]

I hope that wasn't some satanic intention on your part, oh fuck a duck sideways, it's gonna be stuck in my head aaaaaaalllll daaaayy looooong, one more time, thanks fuck face!!!

Anyhow, your eNTp typing and presence in this thread lead me to believe that you possibly, er, potentially relate to the INTJ type?!

amiright?

Whenever I've done function tests, Ne usually only exceeds Ti by a few points. Along with this, Ni usually is the next highest function reading. Then it's Te/Fe based on how humanitarian I'm feeling that day. From what I hear, this isn't that uncommon. Consequently, I can fake INTJ pretty well - and for other reasons.

I like how the lowercase e and p look. The P probably should be the largest letter of them all, given the state of my bedroom; however, growing up in a highly conservative household can skew your perceiving abilities.

 

[onemoretime]

Just to give you a hint into Se perception, that tight rope is extremely obvious.

Not surprising. Still learning the Fe ropes, forgive the pun. Isn't SeNi so wonderfully visual?

 

[onemoretime]

Simply by being an Fi user, we are already bound to compel and be compelled by the other. It's just how the function works.

Use of the function isnt disrespectful as to another Fi user it is perfectly reasonable.

Use of the function on another non-Fi person also isnt disrespectful-just totally misunderstood by both parties.

(Now once you get that then you can do really cool things like corner ENTPs in meetings and stare at them with googly Fi eyes so they cant think anymore. Then have the ENTP on your side ask them to make really important decisions. That would be manipulation.)

Not to be flippant, but I guess then the phrase "slave to your passions" isn't entirely figurative.

 

[SillySapienne]

Whenever I've done function tests, Ne usually only exceeds Ti by a few points. Along with this, Ni usually is the next highest function reading. Then it's Te/Fe based on how humanitarian I'm feeling that day. From what I hear, this isn't that uncommon. Consequently, I can fake INTJ pretty well - and for other reasons.

My last cog processes test revealed these scores, but I was feeling incredibly emo that day...

extraverted Sensing (Se) **************************** (28.2)
average use
introverted Sensing (Si) ********* (9.6)
unused
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ********************************************* (45.1)
excellent use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ******************************* (31.2)
good use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ********** (10.7)
unused
introverted Thinking (Ti) ******************************* (31.4)
good use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ********************************* (33.1)
good use
introverted Feeling (Fi) ************************************************** (50.9)
excellent use



So, yeah.

I'm definitely not and INFP, though my I/E is pretty balanced



^ More accurate results, methinks.

I like how the lowercase e and p look. The P probably should be the largest letter of them all, given the state of my bedroom; however, growing up in a highly conservative household can skew your perceiving abilities.

Ouch, growing up in a highly conservative household, sounds...

:horor:

 

[Amargith]

Here's the thing - yes, there's a time and a place for everything. Yes, there are two ways of exercising the F function. However, they're not equal. Neither are Te and Ti. Ji is simply not compatible with the outside world. It's entirely impractical outside of our internal psyches. It's why Perceivers of all types (including myself) seem unbalanced until we mature.

I've heard many complain that Ti analysis of a person can seem akin to an evisceration of sorts. This is entirely true, and why developing Fe to soften the process is so important. However, and I'm sorry to use such emotionally charged language, but it's the best I can think of, this Fi "nudging" you speak of? It strikes me the same way that the idea of date rape does. You're using a technique to force yourself into somewhere that the other person has not necessarily agreed for you to go. Is it OK for someone to drug and date rape someone, even if their partner would have had consensual sex with them that evening without the drug?

I think this is part of why we respond so strongly to these concepts.

I disagree with your first statement. Though Fe is definitely practical, as is Te, Fe is a tool to me. Nothing more. Fi is who I am. That to me is more important than a tool, and therefore gets more priority and more importance.

And I'm not date-raping anyone. I think part of the problem is that you feel blindsighted by this. Only you and Q have, in this discussion, said that it was not consented. The question is in the approach. I've already given you an example: if a guy tries to sync up with me, his motivation for doing so is quite clear, as doing so tends to reveal a part of who you are, it..provides personal info, kinda like pheromones. If I sense genuine curiosity, and admiration, I will gladly let him sync up with me, respond to his emotional nudge. If I sense that it's a means to an end, I'll smile and refuse to answer his nudge. This all happens without explicitely stating it..but it's still communication. Maybe it's something you don't really pick up on? And that's where this paranoia comes from? You only notice it after someone repeatedly nudged you, or has already gone further in the process without you picking up on it?

This only happens to me when I'm thoroughly distracted, or we're playing a game and they're trying to one-up me (in which case they have my permission to do so). And in case of the distraction, I consider myself at fault, I should've been paying attention.

As for 'manipulating'..I tend to 'manipulate' out in the open. I will use a sync up in the process, but my words will state perfectly fine what I want from you. All I'm doing is giving you additional feedback, through the sync up, that I am in fact not going to take advantage of you...comfort you, in a sense, show you I'm genuine in my request, coz, as stated before, the sync up reveals more about who I am, and what I am feeling in that moment. If I notice you're not comfortable with a sync up, I'll stop the connection instantly, as I don't want to make you uncomfortable, that's not enjoyable to me either. It's just an additional means of communicating, to me. I consider it a benefit to be able to make people feel at ease with me. It smoothens things out, and it makes me relax as well. It closes that annoying social gap that's there. And some people don't know how to bridge it. I do. So I'm happy to do it for them. And they're more than welcome to tell me 'no'.

 

[sculpting]

ALRIGHT THIS THREAD IS ABOUT INTJ/ENFP LOVE.

It turns out this may involve psychological dissection of your partner.
Hmmmm, see I was just flirting with ENTPs all last year when I was gouging at your brains tramatically and sending you all to therapy. I really did love you guys the whole time. I was just poking around your insides with some sweet Te to see what you were made of before I dove in for a taste. You guys are so delicious!!!!

lalalalalaaaa.......I INTJs but ENTPs can have a now and then too...

Since you asked Q.

This is utterly ridiculous and quite horrifying to look at but should clear the ENTPs from the thread. It's the Fi wubbie, googly eyed look. Run while you can, because if i catch you I WILL HUG YOU!!!!!!!!

EDIT: This picture will be removed in one hour. Then the ENTPs can return if they allow for some Fi groping.

 

[SillySapienne]

You look adorable!!!!

I like where this thread is going!!!

 

[Poki]

Not surprising. Still learning the Fe ropes, forgive the pun. Isn't SeNi so wonderfully visual?

Not in an internal imagery sense. Thats why I am Se, my visual and images come externally, my head is floating around with concepts and ideas. Images rarely pop up and I do better if you draw me a picture that I can see then verbally walking me through a picture.

 

[Amargith]

LOL, that's an adorable pic

And you're right..this thread is about INTJ-ENFP love. Man, I'm so glad INTJs kinda do this stuff naturally.

 

[SillySapienne]

Hahahahahaa, Zarathustra took/has a picture of the Valentine's day card I got him, I am sooooo gonna get it then post it in this thread, it is so pukeably precious!!!!



Almost as gag-worthy as this pic!

 

[Oaky]

A few pages past since I my last post. This is moving too quickly.

That sentence denies everything we know about quantum physics.

'Maybe' implies a possibility or uncertainty. Possibilities and uncertainties exist when not enough knowledge is known.

Does knowledge control? How do you define control?

Yes, I'll keep doing this all day - because I'm not going to go left or right like a trained monkey. I'll go up, down, forwards, backwards, or maybe a combination of these directions. We say these words, but at their best, they are nothing more than gross approximations. We scale up, and they become so insignificant as to bear nothing upon the greater workings of the universe. We scale downward, and eventually we get to the terrifying point where we realize that everything is essentially nothing.

And that is why the answer to your question is mu.

Alright then what if the universe doesn't exist? Everything you know about the universe is 'knowledge'. What you are telling me is by your knowledge. What if your knowledge is false? That all your perceptions of the universe is not truly how it is. The universe is just a perception.
You tell me if knowledge is controlling when you can't live without it. You will use knowledge to write your next post, and to think of what to say, and to control your schedules. Controlling you.

 

[Qre:us]

I think that may be an Ne thing.

Well, Pe/Pi is a gathering tool, it perceives (it doesn't act, per se), while Ji/Je, judges/acts, so it's the doing of the judging functions, how my choices are limited.

Thus, another's judging fuction (the action upon me) influences my Ne, but, it is the working of a judging function - particular brand of Fi from another. In that example of mine, who is doing the action, not what is acted upon, was the focus. Thus, Fi, not a question of Ne. Fi does, Ne is influenced.

As for Fi truth? For another Fi user, it is the truth, albeit then judged according to the standards of Te. Yes, help them through pain, react to the Fi presentation, but then apply Te to give them advice-ie tell them what they need to do. Te is pretty fucking bossy. But from the perspective of Fe, it looks like Fi just won. But later the other Fi users will observe if the Fi user repeats and then judge them via Te accordingly. Te is fucking harsh.

Actually, I find Te to be more palatable than Fi. It's bossy, and perhaps, "harsh" but because it seems so up-front, that it makes it easier to swallow, respond to, tackle, than how I often perceive Fi (as convoluted, and unreachable cuz it's solely in the realm of THEM).

To be honest-
Ti often feels "mean" and Fe feels "manipulative" from my perspective. I always thought that the Fe and Ti users were playing mean games and manipulating each other and calling it flirting. But in reality, that game is how you do exactly what you describe above. It's how you bond. If Ti is logical, competitive understanding and Fe is warm compassion with social reciprocal bonds-well you mix those up in layers as you describe above and forge a deeper connection.

Aw, hell yeah, Fe can most definitely be manipulative. I am very, very good at being manipulative, because of my Fe; yet, due to Fe, I cannot act/will not on that skill of mine (unless somehow the other is really asking for it). In this way, my Fe balances itself out.

It's the same game with the same end, but played through a different set of functions-Te and Fi. So it looks very different. Te is an assertive function and Fi an empathic one, so the game looks very different, trading of assertive protection with softness, understanding, but back in forth, deeper and deeper to forge those connection. Same result in the end.

I could never match the ENTPs dance steps and got hurt over and over again. However to play the Te/Fi game is exceptionally easy and very natural. It just flows with no thought needed. You just do exactly what pops into your head because that is the right answer. I cant emphasize how simple it feels. It may not work out between particular individuals but the cadence is very natural.

I need to make more observations. I havent seen this trend but I havent been watching closely enough.

I think we're getting too caught up in throwing around the manipulation hot-potato, when manipulation can be in the realm of all the four judging functions. Ti, Te, Fi, Fe.

If Fe is fairness, just, and Fi is authenticity, then, each can be manipulated to skew that which is their expertise.

I really admire those Fi-users who will be authentic come hell or high water. To thine own self, they will be true. The opposite of that, given the same function, is that in other Fi-users it will manipulate that authenticity (present a farce of the authenticity) to gain their own selfish desires. This is where Te becomes crucial. Te impacts outwardly. The Fi-users I admire (4 I can recall from this forum, that my mind is holding as an example, 2 INFPs and 2 ENFPs)....they will hold on to their Fi, not as if it were correct, but, because it is valued by them. And, when questioned, or challenged, they allow for that (no defensiveness, because they are authentic in valuing it...it is truth, let it be scrutinized), and their NeFiTe will ask the other, what their thoughts/feelings are, given the same situation. They give respect that another can have an equally merit-worthy, yet, different internal feeling to the same situation.

Thus, it is not to defend their Fi, but, to allow themselves the scrutiny of said Fi-value. To believe more deeply. To seek another perspective (Ne), to understand the external impact, efficiency (Te) of holding on to such a value. And, these same Fi-users had, in the past, suppressed their Fi-value, given that their Te got convinced of a negative impact, due to their value. Yet, never will they use their Fi to manipulate. It is either held strong, or, supressed - hence, it retains its authenticity. It doesn't shape-shift.

Fi is the same like Ti, subjective. Like Ti seeks to find internal logical consistency, Fi seeks to find internal emotional consistency. Ti allows me to be more confident in the logical conclusion I derived, while Fi allows those authentic Fi-wielders to be more confident in the emotional conclusion, value, they derived.

Te is the same like Fe, objective. Like Fe seeks to find how something can best impact fairness for all involved, Te seeks to find how something can best impact efficiency for all involved. Fe allows for justice to be wielded, so no one gets left behind simply because they weren't subjective valued, while Te allows for efficiency to be wielded, so that all the players involved are used to their best advantage.

As such, it is easy to see how all these four then can be used for manipulation. Fe, being the expert on fairness, can expertly figure out how to manipulate that fairness to be skewed, while Ti's subjective rationalization of maintaining logical internal consistency, allows this skewed perspective to be still seen/sold as "fair".

Fi, being an expert on authenticity, can expertly figure out how to manipulate it so that authenticity is skewed, while Te's objective rationalization of how to efficiently impact something, allows this skewed perspective to be seen as still "authentic" to the situation at hand. (<- this was what I originally found to be irksome to me, when I responded to this thread, given Amar's and SS's responses....by george, eureka! )

 

[onemoretime]

I disagree with your first statement. Though Fe is definitely practical, as is Te, Fe is a tool to me. Nothing more. Fi is who I am. That to me is more important than a tool, and therefore gets more priority and more importance.

Why limit yourself to one function? I'm neither Ne or Ti. I'm me. I have several traits about me that may correspond with certain Jungian archetypes. However, I certainly don't think those archetypes have a thing to do with who I am, they just help others know better how I tick. It's like the highway a couple of miles from here - does "Interstate 95" have any inherent, tangible meaning? Of course not. That strip of pavement is in no literal way "Interstate 95". However, it does help a person understand where that highway goes, in the entire network of strips of pavement known as the "Interstate Highway System".

And I'm not date-raping anyone. I think part of the problem is that you feel blindsighted by this. Only you and Q have, in this discussion, said that it was not consented. The question is in the approach. I've already given you an example: if a guy tries to sync up with me, his motivation for doing so is quite clear, as doing so tends to reveal a part of who you are, it..provides personal info, kinda like pheromones. If I sense genuine curiosity, and admiration, I will gladly let him sync up with me, respond to his emotional nudge. If I sense that it's a means to an end, I'll smile and refuse to answer his nudge. This all happens without explicitely stating it..but it's still communication. Maybe it's something you don't really pick up on? And that's where this paranoia comes from? You only notice it after someone repeatedly nudged you, or has already gone further in the process without you picking up on it?

I'm sorry you don't like that characterization, but that's what it is. My perception of it isn't wrong, even if you don't see it that way.

This only happens to me when I'm thoroughly distracted, or we're playing a game and they're trying to one-up me (in which case they have my permission to do so). And in case of the distraction, I consider myself at fault, I should've been paying attention.

There are other options to prevent this sort of "mix-up".

As for 'manipulating'..I tend to 'manipulate' out in the open. I will use a sync up in the process, but my words will state perfectly fine what I want from you.

No means no.

All I'm doing is giving you additional feedback, through the sync up, that I am in fact not going to take advantage of you...comfort you, in a sense, show you I'm genuine in my request, coz, as stated before, the sync up reveals more about who I am, and what I am feeling in that moment. If I notice you're not comfortable with a sync up, I'll stop the connection instantly, as I don't want to make you uncomfortable, that's not enjoyable to me either. It's just an additional means of communicating, to me. I consider it a benefit to be able to make people feel at ease with me. It smoothens things out, and it makes me relax as well. It closes that annoying social gap that's there. And some people don't know how to bridge it. I do. So I'm happy to do it for them. And they're more than welcome to tell me 'no'.

Is this about you or the other person?

 

[Thalassa]

I guess my question is, why take such turns in the first place? Why play this game? Why put one person in the position of "weakness"/taking, and the other in a position of "strength"/giving?

Why not give and take because you can and want to give, and the other decides (independently) that they can and want to, take?

.....not to play out this dynamic of (to me: energy draining) strength/weakness, dominance/submission [read: manipulation]. And repeat. Ad nauseum.

I guess, I have a hard time boosting someone's ego, worth, by making myself appear "weak". Or ever wanting that from the other. I can't see it as a "flirt".

Some people are turned on by this dynamic, and can even make them feel emotionally secure. It's just not your way. I think it would be very hard to explain to someone who doesn't "get it" because everyone's sexual and love maps are different.