Mole
Permabanned
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2008
- Messages
- 20,282
Most of us come here for consolation.
Why do we need consoling?
We need to be consoled because we are in emotional pain.
Emotional pain is personally painful, it is socially embarrassing, and we deploy our ego to avoid emotional pain.
We perform all kinds of contortions to avoid emotional pain and find consolation. But most of all we seek people like ourselves in emotional pain, but denying it, seeking consolation.
One enormous price of denying emotional pain is that we avoid cognitive dissonance which is emotionally painful, and in avoiding cognitive dissonance we cripple our ability to learn.
And in avoiding emotional pain we avoid knowing about the emotional pain of others close to us. We avoid knowing about the emotional pain of our spouses and children and friends and work mates.
We avoid knowing how emotional pain controls our feelings, our thoughts, and our actions all during the day. We take this form of social control for granted.
And we avoid knowing the social dimension of emotional pain.
Emotional pain causes personal tension, and perhaps the first step to liberation is learning to relax. A good place to start is Relief Without Drugs, by Ainslie Mears, click on Relief Without Drugs by Ainslie Meares — Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists
Why do we need consoling?
We need to be consoled because we are in emotional pain.
Emotional pain is personally painful, it is socially embarrassing, and we deploy our ego to avoid emotional pain.
We perform all kinds of contortions to avoid emotional pain and find consolation. But most of all we seek people like ourselves in emotional pain, but denying it, seeking consolation.
One enormous price of denying emotional pain is that we avoid cognitive dissonance which is emotionally painful, and in avoiding cognitive dissonance we cripple our ability to learn.
And in avoiding emotional pain we avoid knowing about the emotional pain of others close to us. We avoid knowing about the emotional pain of our spouses and children and friends and work mates.
We avoid knowing how emotional pain controls our feelings, our thoughts, and our actions all during the day. We take this form of social control for granted.
And we avoid knowing the social dimension of emotional pain.
Emotional pain causes personal tension, and perhaps the first step to liberation is learning to relax. A good place to start is Relief Without Drugs, by Ainslie Mears, click on Relief Without Drugs by Ainslie Meares — Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists