Do people change?

[BlueScreen]

In your opinion, do you think that people change?

Or more specifically, what spurs people to change? If someone is a shitty person, do you think they can just wake up one day and decide to no longer be a shitty person? Does an abusive man (whether emotionally or physically) one day just decide to not be a pig anymore, and becomes a romantic gentleman?

If you truly do believe people can change, then do you believe is it sudden or gradual?

JUST to clarify, this was just a hypothetical question! Haha, me and my roommate were watching Sex and the City and were wondering if people really do change. (ie MR. Big)

Of course people can change. How, when, etc. probably depends on what they change and the reason. A good thing to think about when you hope someone will change is if they have more reason not to change than to change they probably won't.

It sort of reminds me of something we learnt in teaching. To have someone accept a new theory or perception, they need to invalidate the way they used to look at it, or at least see enough flaws in the old way that they search for a replacement. For example if someone believes the world is flat and nothing you say unsettles that belief, they are unlikely to learn from you that the world is round. In a similar way, if people have faith in their current ways, find comfort in them, find them rewarding, etc. then they are unlikely to see a need to replace them with something new, no matter how well you sell it or believe in it. If they suddenly see their ways in a far more negative light that invalidates them, then they might change (eg. Scrooge ). I think anyone can change, just it is easier for some than others, depending how entrenched they are in a certain way, and maybe what society will allow them to change to from that.

 

[Edgar]

You've gone from belief systems to someone's core personality.

Well I figured I use a different approach to explain the concept since the story about Santa offended you.

 

[Thessaly]

I couldn't be less offended. I'm not even offended by the patronizing tone you're taking in trying to cover up your equivocation. It was a really dumb analogy. It did nothing at all to address the premise of my argument. It was just you being douchey. I expect more from you Edgar :1377:

 

[Edgar]

NO U

 

[miss fortune]

Can a person change? Yes, if they want to change and they put a lot of effort into it, or if something life shattering happens to them (heading the other direction)

I quit my good time party girl heavy drinking phase and became a depressingly reliable employed person who shops for grocieries, drinks tea at get togethers and who has been with the same man for several years... scary to think, I've only slept with one person in the past few years

People change, they just have to see a benefit to doing so

 

[Lux]

In my experience people grow into who they can be... Life helps with this.. it's an offshoot of who they are already. Whether you call it change or something else, people typically have potential to move forward, or be stagnate... That is the choice.