Disliking the concept of "fun"

[Salomé]

This is a case however where silence is a form of consent.

Or just tolerance.

 

[Xander]

Or just tolerance.

Pantyhose & Roses ~ Echobelly

"..All these years, all this time,
Learn to suffer, compromise,
Turn away, tolerate,
Learn to suffer what you hate.

And it could change, it will never.."

You say tolerate, I say silently support...

 

[The Ü™]

Everyone, minus Uber, likes fun.

I'm a parasite. I gain fun by sucking away the fun from others.

The same way spree killers become more alive by taking the lives of others.

 

[wildcat]

That's the thing though isn't it. Fun is traditionally associated with extroverted activities. It seems like introverted fun is called boring and dull. I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of being boring because I recoiled from the idea of going out for a drink or going clubbing. In fact, having been dragged to clubs on occasion, I find nothing more dull than a group of people staggering about and shouting enthusiastically. They most often have nothing of interest to say and are completely frightened by any kind of thinking. Why can't it be combined? I wouldn't mind so much if I were surrounded by people drinking and trying to get hold of the tenants of existentialism or some such but most often they're just speaking to enjoy hearing the sound of their voices and to get affirmation of their friends. It's no wonder they find me boring... I affirm very little..

You describe exactly the thing in my environment dear boy.

You pronounced the word.
The correct word.
Affirmation.

Life is about the other. It is not about us.

 

[Eruca]

That's the thing though isn't it. Fun is traditionally associated with extroverted activities. It seems like introverted fun is called boring and dull. I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of being boring because I recoiled from the idea of going out for a drink or going clubbing. In fact, having been dragged to clubs on occasion, I find nothing more dull than a group of people staggering about and shouting enthusiastically. They most often have nothing of interest to say and are completely frightened by any kind of thinking. Why can't it be combined? I wouldn't mind so much if I were surrounded by people drinking and trying to get hold of the tenants of existentialism or some such but most often they're just speaking to enjoy hearing the sound of their voices and to get affirmation of their friends. It's no wonder they find me boring... I affirm very little..

You...you...are SO right, man! *Hick* I just...I just don't....I love you man! You...you...know that don't you?

 

[Salomé]

Pantyhose & Roses ~ Echobelly

"..All these years, all this time,
Learn to suffer, compromise,
Turn away, tolerate,
Learn to suffer what you hate.

And it could change, it will never.."

You say tolerate, I say silently support...

Such a J! You say that like this is a moral issue. It's not. We are the minority.
There is no right or wrong. Choose your battles. Live and let live.

/platitudes.

 

[Xander]

Such a J! You say that like this is a moral issue. It's not. We are the minority.
There is no right or wrong. Choose your battles. Live and let live.

/platitudes.

J? Jaguar?

What's this choose battles marlarky? Just wait till something ticks you off enough.. then anhillate it. Simple, clean, effective.


--------------------------
Oh I have found an exception to fun being a bad word. Geeks.

Now moving swiftly past whether geeks are naturally introverted or if it's up for grabs that kind of person who's idea of fun is more obviously something other than a game of five a side can use the word fun without me getting cold shivers.

May be it's a trust issue?

 

[Cameigons]

I really enjoyed reading this thread, lots of interesting opinions.

That's basically how I feel about it. If someone says something will be fun, I ask them how. If it doesn't sound challenging, creative, or educational, there's a good chance that I'll decline.

Their idea of having fun is my idea of wasting time. They say, "Oh, come on! Life is short, have some fun!" And I say, "Yes, life IS short, and that's why I'd rather not waste my time doing things that are pointless to me."

But, I'm open minded enough to give it a shot sometimes. And I'm open minded enough to enjoy something even if I thought it was going to suck. A lot of my best memories wouldn't exist if I didn't give other people's ideas a chance. So, there's always the desire to take a chance on something and there's always the ability to initiate some change in a social situation that isn't fun at all.

I second that.

It certainly help the prospects of fun in any activity if I'm with good friends...
I usually see parties and bars as means to an end, which is meeting new people/dates. When my shyness doesn't keep me from doing so, I love meeting new people.
Getting drunk and talking shit can be somewhat fun, and I have done that a lot in the past, but at the same time seems like a tremendous misuse(or waste) of time and self-alienation.
(and waste of health, neurons, and a mild day-after due the hangover)

I like to hangout and interact with interesting not-obnoxious people(..... well, who doesn't) especially if they're very different from me, it helps me realizing different perspectives. But I also like to study, read, learn, work, and engage in philosophic or "pseudo-philosophic" discussions...
Also I try to take some time to reflect and improve my self-understanding, to which the term "fun" is not applicable.

 

[sarah]

I'm not too sure if this is type related or what but it's been buzzing around in my head since I watched an interview with Stephen Fry when he mentioned recoiling whenever people mentioned "fun".

To me it's more apprehension at what people mean by the word "fun". Often people use it to mean something inane and mindless devoid of all intellectual content and just designed to give them a quick buzz. Now I don't mean to come across all snobbish and aloof but I'm much more enthused by the idea of something which engages the brain, allows for innovation and even... dun dun duhhh... teamwork. Sitting around a table getting drunk is none of those things...

Anyhow I was wondering if there's any more who recoil from the term fun or something similar.

Anybody?

I'm not even an NT and I agree with this. The problem is that you're assuming that the other people who have defined fun in terms of extraverted activities have a corner on the market of what that word means. Fun is basically all about enjoying whatever makes YOU feel more energized and alive.

We is far too sophisticated to have fun. Fun is for SFPs. They have to have something in their lives.

Well, yeah, we SFPs know how to enjoy life. Enjoyment of life is a goooooood thing, Bluemonday.

That's it! I'm changing to SFP. Fun is, well fun

The problem is when someone else's definition of fun doesn't match with my reality.

Exactly! Once again, Trinity's managed to condense into one sentence wheat would've taken me a paragraph to say. Thanks.

Sarah

 

[INTJMom]

I have to be in the mood for fun to have fun.
It happens a couple of times a year. Maybe.

 

[King sns]

think about it on the flipside... imagine ALWAYS being in the mood for fun... imagine trying to have fun in EVERYTHING you do. Sometimes it can be inconvenient considering that you have to get things done too. Like run errands, go to work, go to funerals, appointments, doing paperwork, cleaning, sitting in lectures. And you feel that you must try to turn them all into a big exciting party.

(Not that I experience this or anything...... )

 

[INTJMom]

think about it on the flipside... imagine ALWAYS being in the mood for fun... imagine trying to have fun in EVERYTHING you do. Sometimes it can be inconvenient considering that you have to get things done too. Like run errands, go to work, go to funerals, appointments, doing paperwork, cleaning, sitting in lectures. And you feel that you must try to turn them all into a big exciting party.

(Not that I experience this or anything...... )

My ISTP son is that way.
He MUST have fun with everything he does.
My ISTP husband is that way too, to a certain extent.

I'll never forget when my son was about 2 or 3, I asked him to run to the kitchen to grab me a towel real quick.
He dropped down to all fours like a dog, went and fetched it with his mouth and brought it to me.

I have always tried to remember that throughout his life.
He's 18 now.
It's helped me to be more accepting of his ways that are different from mine.

 

[Xander]

think about it on the flipside... imagine ALWAYS being in the mood for fun... imagine trying to have fun in EVERYTHING you do. Sometimes it can be inconvenient considering that you have to get things done too. Like run errands, go to work, go to funerals, appointments, doing paperwork, cleaning, sitting in lectures. And you feel that you must try to turn them all into a big exciting party.

(Not that I experience this or anything...... )

Errm well known as being flippant and irreverant.... just not really in the "hey he's FUN" sense. I guess that's what comes of having a dry sense of humour

 

[Xander]

I'm not even an NT and I agree with this. The problem is that you're assuming that the other people who have defined fun in terms of extraverted activities have a corner on the market of what that word means. Fun is basically all about enjoying whatever makes YOU feel more energized and alive.

I had this argument with my ENFP friend just last night oddly enough. It's true, it shouldn't be accepted that FUN has been stolen by evil types everywhere (Evil NFPs and so forth ).

The strange thing is though that even as an introvert I'm struggling to think of something introverted where the word FUN can be applied without it seeming a little odd and out of place, as Cameigons pointed out.

 

[alcea rosea]

Oh yeah. The whole over egging enthusiasm often employed by a wide eyed extravert (most often with the best of intent) only really makes me want to run, hide and then wait until they get bored and go away!!

Odd little INTP quirk.. it's often not something I object to doing.. before they try and convince me. It's almost like their enthusiasm is my anathema!

Just so typical NT'ness - to start wondering about the definition to fun (or whatever was the purpose of the thread).

I would probably tire most introverts out because of my strong and explosive extroversion and the need to have FUN with LOTS OF PEOPLE.

We is far too sophisticated to have fun. Fun is for SFPs. They have to have something in their lives.

...and for ENFP's (and ENTP's).

I wonder if this dislike of fun has something to do with not feeling competant at it? Something like not feeling empathic enough to be any good at this "fun" business.

You NT's have to feel competent about everything. Having fun is not about being competent, it's just plain old .....having fun. The feeling of having fun..... oh, I cannot expain it to anybody. You'll have to FEEL it.

wow..never realized you guys had a problem with fun

I didn't either...

Last time I checked introversion is how much energy you can devote to things outside yourself before retreating to recharge. I need my time alone, but I wouldn't mind heading out to a party now and then. The problem is there aren't any I can go to where I don't have to drink with out other people picking at me for it.

Yes, that might be the case. How much you can deveote energy to outer world. I can devote A LOT of ENERGY to outer world even so that most people get tired of it. I can be very tiring person with my energy level and with my Ne flow....

Everyone, minus Uber, likes fun.

I still suspect Uber is only trying to provocate with his issue of wanting to ruin the fun of others.

I had this argument with my ENFP friend just last night oddly enough.

Did you two come into some conclusion about this issue?

 

[sarah]

think about it on the flipside... imagine ALWAYS being in the mood for fun... imagine trying to have fun in EVERYTHING you do. Sometimes it can be inconvenient considering that you have to get things done too. Like run errands, go to work, go to funerals, appointments, doing paperwork, cleaning, sitting in lectures. And you feel that you must try to turn them all into a big exciting party.

(Not that I experience this or anything...... )

Heeheehee! Except for the party element ('cause I can play alone just fine), I can relate to that. Work Before Play! Play Before work! Or else turn the work into a sort of play.

Sarah

 

[Xander]

Just so typical NT'ness - to start wondering about the definition to fun (or whatever was the purpose of the thread).

You make it sound deliberate. This kinda stuff just happens to me. I'm walking along minding my own business and then bang start thinking about the definition of minding my own business and how it interconnects with social responsibility.. is not my fault!

I would probably tire most introverts out because of my strong and explosive extroversion and the need to have FUN with LOTS OF PEOPLE.

As long as it's just you and you leave the others behind I'm fine.

You NT's have to feel competent about everything. Having fun is not about being competent, it's just plain old .....having fun. The feeling of having fun..... oh, I cannot expain it to anybody. You'll have to FEEL it.

Okay try this... this was FUN for me. Basically instead of revelling in those kinds of video racing games where you knock the car off every wall and piece of scenery I got it down to a fine art. I had the car tuned just so, the suspension just so... even the gear ratios were tuned to my preferences. I then spent hours refining my driving so that I drifted through the corners not touching a damn thing. That was FUN.

Sounds really tedious and boring right? Too much like concentrating to be fun?

There in lies the problem.

I didn't either...

Most don't. I mean who on earth would object to FUN right?

Yes, that might be the case. How much you can deveote energy to outer world. I can devote A LOT of ENERGY to outer world even so that most people get tired of it. I can be very tiring person with my energy level and with my Ne flow....

Well it does work in reverse. I tend to tire out extroverts fast. They seem to glaze over quite quickly whilst I'm still trying to engage them on some dissection of the various merits of existentialism

Did you two come into some conclusion about this issue?

Conclusion? You did hear me say enfP right? So that would be intP and enfP and you're looking for a conclusion? You had a check up from the neck up today? Just asking....



(ie No we didn't but we did advance the concept in a few places )

 

[sarah]

Okay try this... this was FUN for me. Basically instead of revelling in those kinds of video racing games where you knock the car off every wall and piece of scenery I got it down to a fine art. I had the car tuned just so, the suspension just so... even the gear ratios were tuned to my preferences. I then spent hours refining my driving so that I drifted through the corners not touching a damn thing. That was FUN.

Sounds really tedious and boring right? Too much like concentrating to be fun?
)

Not at all. "Fun" is as relative a term as "beauty". Personally, I can spend hours fussing around with an art project, especially collages, because they allow me to endlessly shift around with layers of paper and totally forget about the time and about other people. That must seem very boring to extraverts.


Sarah

 

[LucrativeSid]

When's the last time you had a blast?

Can anybody name the last time that they had a blast, or at least a ton of fun? I'm sure you've done plenty of enjoyable things since then, like reading, but those things don't qualify as a blast. What I mean by blast is when you act enthusiastic. Something where other people would be able to tell you're having a blast by looking at you.

How many years/months/days/hours has it been? Never, maybe?

For me, it was probably months ago with my girlfriend, playing games together and just goofing off and enjoying ourselves. Before that, probably another a year at least, playing Mario Cart 64 and acoustic guitar with some friends. I usually have a blast whenever I play sports or video games against other people, or when do improv shows on guitar or jam with other people - but I don't seek those experiences out too often. (It's been almost 2 years since I've done those things.)

If you can identify would what is a blast to you, and you don't ever do it, does that mean there's something wrong with you? Perhaps doing it again would be good for my health.

 

[sarah]

Can anybody name the last time that they had a blast, or at least a ton of fun? I'm sure you've done plenty of enjoyable things since then, like reading, but those things don't qualify as a blast. What I mean by blast is when you act enthusiastic. Something where other people would be able to tell you're having a blast by looking at you.

How many years/months/days/hours has it been? Never, maybe?

For me, it was probably months ago with my girlfriend, playing games together and just goofing off and enjoying ourselves. Before that, probably another a year at least, playing Mario Cart 64 and acoustic guitar with some friends. I usually have a blast whenever I play sports or video games against other people, or when do improv shows on guitar or jam with other people - but I don't seek those experiences out too often. (It's been almost 2 years since I've done those things.)

If you can identify would what is a blast to you, and you don't ever do it, does that mean there's something wrong with you? Perhaps doing it again would be good for my health.

Yes, the last time I had an absolute BLAST was a few weekends ago, when one of our groups of friends met at one friend's cottage. When this particular group gets together, we get into conversations where usually all end up laughing so hard we cry (or have to make a mad dash to the bathroom). We usually get together about once a month. It started out as a book discussion group but grew into so much more.

Sarah