INFtha14
:)
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2008
- Messages
- 1,844
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I thought I'd discuss alittle more with my counselor what I was thinking of since are last talk about Typology.
Examples I gave her were
A: When My sister was at the door as a result of hearing of her daughter then being under mom's temperary custody/residency. I was told to not let her in. So when I heard a knock on the door I just held fast and didn't move to open the door. My dad all of a sudden stood at his door frame. I said to him "What are you doing?". He said "nothing".
I reminded him "Stay away from the door. Were not suppose to let her in". He said "I'm not". After a minute he gets near the door and I follow him. He says "just looking". I said "Well really it'd be best to stay away from the door". He ended opening the door and it ended up with my sister almost taking my neice while under the influence of drugs/that life style. As I told my story to my counselor I stressed post door being opened "why did you open the door?" mentally a few times. She told me an example of how the feelings are there but you first focus on the objective before the subjective so even when you were so intent on focusing on "We must keep the door locked". Counselor told me a more feeling way of saying it would be like "I love (neice) and I want to protect her/keep her safe from how michelle is right now so we need to keep that door locked and to not let her in." She took note of how I usually realize the feeling stuff after the "Objective".
Another time was whenever my feelings would get hurt with my best friend as a result of something, anything. I used to if we had anything planned cancel it or reschedual till I could be calmed down. Keyword here I would only work it out in my head as to understand why it happened but then never talk about it cause I figured "that was it/why... ok". I didn't focus on where my feelings were. I notice I would cool off and then because of that time "i'd be able to understand the reason/why". So finally just back in october I realized that I needed to start dealing with how it impacts me and how I feel. Instead of "withdrawing".
Another time was when I was a kid (6 or 7yrs)and I was sitting in a room with my sister. She had this sad song come on and it took me by suprise. I told my counselor how it bothered me and I remember wanting to run away from it. But I stayed. Then I remember thinking when I saw my sister crying to it because it moved her, "Why does my sister always make herself cry when these songs come on? Why does she put herself through this?". I saw it as needlessly feeling pain also. I also afterwards went off by myself to sit down and to try to make myself cry. I tried to think of my dog... if he ran away and such. I tried to squint my eyes and make that sad lip quiver XD. No tears came. But after a couple minutes trying I declared in my head "This is stupid! Why would anyone make themselves cry or want to?". My counselor told me how (after laughing LOL) typical of a thinker thing to say for me to react that way. She told me that for her as a feeler she doesn't "make" herself cry. She just does. As I just look to the objective instantly to "seek to understand".
Overall my counselor told me how again that T or F is about "What you use to base your decisions". She used an example I gave her another time to show how she as a "Feeler" would go through with it compared to me "thinker". She said You went through the "what" of the situation. Where the phone was placed, where your sister was sitting in relation to the phone, where your mom was sitting and where you were sitting. She told me how my focus in telling this was on the "What" not on my feelings about what was underneath the "what". She asked me "So when your mom asked you to get the phone and not your sister who was right next to it what do you think caused you to react?" She reminded me of the emotions list and how it helps to look underneath the "what". So I said after thinking for a minute or so "... uum I felt like my mom was lazy. *still thinking it over*... I perhaps felt like she was treating me like a maid when I saw how jenn could of grabbed the phone and tossed it to mom. She told me how "Right there you had to stop and think a minute of what you were feeling. I as a feeler would of went right to the emotion and said something like your just making me get the phone because you think I'm suppose to be your maid or I feel singled out, why me and not her?".
She also made a good point following the "going right to the emotion". I didn't go right to the emotion for four of these examples neither did I for the two I gave that I didn't add on here so technically six examples
. Speaking of which there were a couple other examples given in relation to moments between my mom and I that I shared with my counselor who also showed me how much of thinker thing that is to say.
Another quick example. I told her in this session how when I saw these two baby squirels on the verge of passing I told her I felt such a heavy sadness but I also was "seeking to understand" via watching and observing what was happening. Well the next morning on my way over to the neighbors (after we thought we gave them a peaceful place to "die") I found one of the baby squirels with there face ripped off. I remember just looking at it saddened but also wondering about "death" as in (my exact words I was running over in my head) "They were just moving yesterday and now there not. What causes them not to move all of a sudden? (death duh but I wanted to know more likely "What is a soul? The energy that fuels the physical body perhaps but all energy only has such a time limit). Though I couldn't shake the thoughts... "they were just moving...".
Reminds me of a story JAVO told me about himself as a kid seeing a broken bank? and wondering "Why it was broken?" and not leaving till it was brought home and fixed. First I try to find a reason... then I realize just how much I've actually been trying to deal with the loss of my father via "gaining understanding".
This whole working it out made me realize just how easy it can be for a thinker to be blinded and not open to what they can look to. I told her how it seems some associate "Thinker" with a hard person who doesn't "normally" do stuff like that. Yes that is true, normally they don't but underneath the analysis for me... is quite of an emotional drive. But all while doing it I'm looking at the Objective. Objective is not "not caring about people/softer issues or not dealing with your emotions etc". In that once example I went right to "the phone, it's placement in relation to my sister and mother, then where I was" as in the "What" of it, not necessarily the "Who" whether that would be me or the people around me. My counselor has to help me work through a process just to realize that I didn't like it because it felt like I was maid/left out/targeted. She took note of this as me "having to stop for a minute and ahhh Maybe I felt..." I went into more in the above stuff before this squirels piece.
But back to that. I first go to the "objective = General principles" think, then go over to the subjective "don't like to .... or but etc".
She told me how The sensitive side is there in thinkers, it's underneath the "Objective" focus where if you go deeper then that there is emotion driving it. She told me she has met some INTPs via her work as a therapist and there are some who when they go underneath the "reasoning/thinking/objective" focus, they are very passionate and loving/caring people.
T v F is just showing how you base your decision not whether you don't have a more emotional focus or not.
I told her a quote I found that I liked and she found it a great one to use in reference to the stereotypes out there. *Don't confuse "Feeling" with emotion. Everyone has emotions about the decisions they make.* . Again It's about, What you "USE" to BASE your DECISION. Not whether or not one uses emotion or not.
This today I think sealed it for sure now. INTP.
Examples I gave her were
A: When My sister was at the door as a result of hearing of her daughter then being under mom's temperary custody/residency. I was told to not let her in. So when I heard a knock on the door I just held fast and didn't move to open the door. My dad all of a sudden stood at his door frame. I said to him "What are you doing?". He said "nothing".
I reminded him "Stay away from the door. Were not suppose to let her in". He said "I'm not". After a minute he gets near the door and I follow him. He says "just looking". I said "Well really it'd be best to stay away from the door". He ended opening the door and it ended up with my sister almost taking my neice while under the influence of drugs/that life style. As I told my story to my counselor I stressed post door being opened "why did you open the door?" mentally a few times. She told me an example of how the feelings are there but you first focus on the objective before the subjective so even when you were so intent on focusing on "We must keep the door locked". Counselor told me a more feeling way of saying it would be like "I love (neice) and I want to protect her/keep her safe from how michelle is right now so we need to keep that door locked and to not let her in." She took note of how I usually realize the feeling stuff after the "Objective".
Another time was whenever my feelings would get hurt with my best friend as a result of something, anything. I used to if we had anything planned cancel it or reschedual till I could be calmed down. Keyword here I would only work it out in my head as to understand why it happened but then never talk about it cause I figured "that was it/why... ok". I didn't focus on where my feelings were. I notice I would cool off and then because of that time "i'd be able to understand the reason/why". So finally just back in october I realized that I needed to start dealing with how it impacts me and how I feel. Instead of "withdrawing".
Another time was when I was a kid (6 or 7yrs)and I was sitting in a room with my sister. She had this sad song come on and it took me by suprise. I told my counselor how it bothered me and I remember wanting to run away from it. But I stayed. Then I remember thinking when I saw my sister crying to it because it moved her, "Why does my sister always make herself cry when these songs come on? Why does she put herself through this?". I saw it as needlessly feeling pain also. I also afterwards went off by myself to sit down and to try to make myself cry. I tried to think of my dog... if he ran away and such. I tried to squint my eyes and make that sad lip quiver XD. No tears came. But after a couple minutes trying I declared in my head "This is stupid! Why would anyone make themselves cry or want to?". My counselor told me how (after laughing LOL) typical of a thinker thing to say for me to react that way. She told me that for her as a feeler she doesn't "make" herself cry. She just does. As I just look to the objective instantly to "seek to understand".
Overall my counselor told me how again that T or F is about "What you use to base your decisions". She used an example I gave her another time to show how she as a "Feeler" would go through with it compared to me "thinker". She said You went through the "what" of the situation. Where the phone was placed, where your sister was sitting in relation to the phone, where your mom was sitting and where you were sitting. She told me how my focus in telling this was on the "What" not on my feelings about what was underneath the "what". She asked me "So when your mom asked you to get the phone and not your sister who was right next to it what do you think caused you to react?" She reminded me of the emotions list and how it helps to look underneath the "what". So I said after thinking for a minute or so "... uum I felt like my mom was lazy. *still thinking it over*... I perhaps felt like she was treating me like a maid when I saw how jenn could of grabbed the phone and tossed it to mom. She told me how "Right there you had to stop and think a minute of what you were feeling. I as a feeler would of went right to the emotion and said something like your just making me get the phone because you think I'm suppose to be your maid or I feel singled out, why me and not her?".
She also made a good point following the "going right to the emotion". I didn't go right to the emotion for four of these examples neither did I for the two I gave that I didn't add on here so technically six examples
. Speaking of which there were a couple other examples given in relation to moments between my mom and I that I shared with my counselor who also showed me how much of thinker thing that is to say. Another quick example. I told her in this session how when I saw these two baby squirels on the verge of passing I told her I felt such a heavy sadness but I also was "seeking to understand" via watching and observing what was happening. Well the next morning on my way over to the neighbors (after we thought we gave them a peaceful place to "die") I found one of the baby squirels with there face ripped off
. I remember just looking at it saddened but also wondering about "death" as in (my exact words I was running over in my head) "They were just moving yesterday and now there not. What causes them not to move all of a sudden? (death duh but I wanted to know more likely "What is a soul? The energy that fuels the physical body perhaps but all energy only has such a time limit). Though I couldn't shake the thoughts... "they were just moving...". Reminds me of a story JAVO told me about himself as a kid seeing a broken bank? and wondering "Why it was broken?
" and not leaving till it was brought home and fixed. First I try to find a reason... then I realize just how much I've actually been trying to deal with the loss of my father via "gaining understanding".This whole working it out made me realize just how easy it can be for a thinker to be blinded and not open to what they can look to. I told her how it seems some associate "Thinker" with a hard person who doesn't "normally" do stuff like that. Yes that is true, normally they don't but underneath the analysis for me... is quite of an emotional drive. But all while doing it I'm looking at the Objective. Objective is not "not caring about people/softer issues or not dealing with your emotions etc". In that once example I went right to "the phone, it's placement in relation to my sister and mother, then where I was" as in the "What" of it, not necessarily the "Who" whether that would be me or the people around me. My counselor has to help me work through a process just to realize that I didn't like it because it felt like I was maid/left out/targeted. She took note of this as me "having to stop for a minute and ahhh Maybe I felt..." I went into more in the above stuff before this squirels piece.
But back to that. I first go to the "objective = General principles" think, then go over to the subjective "don't like to .... or but etc".
She told me how The sensitive side is there in thinkers, it's underneath the "Objective" focus where if you go deeper then that there is emotion driving it. She told me she has met some INTPs via her work as a therapist and there are some who when they go underneath the "reasoning/thinking/objective" focus, they are very passionate and loving/caring people.
T v F is just showing how you base your decision not whether you don't have a more emotional focus or not.
I told her a quote I found that I liked and she found it a great one to use in reference to the stereotypes out there. *Don't confuse "Feeling" with emotion. Everyone has emotions about the decisions they make.* . Again It's about, What you "USE" to BASE your DECISION. Not whether or not one uses emotion or not.
This today I think sealed it for sure now. INTP.
