...continued

[RiderOnTheStorm]

Well?

What do you want to know specifically? How I found it to be profound?

Well, during our conversations there were just way too many so-called coincidences for them to be just that. We felt the same about a lot of things and saw eye to eye. That is something that I have never experienced before, and he expressed the same.

I have written a lot about it in my personal journal. I'm working on getting that up here for you to read and better understand.

But in the meantime I sent him 3 texts yesterday.

Text 1) How long do you intend to not talk to me? I'd rather you come out and tell me that you don't want to anymore rather than cutting me off.

Text 2) Each day is a gift, not a givin right. I can't go on like this. It is cruel to leave me in limbo, *****.

Text 3) Look, if you do not message me later today I will take that as a sign that you are done with me. Even sending a blank will suffice. Don't play with me. Life is short.

^With no response.

I've sent him a couple of texts after that by now with no luck. I hate to just give up. That's not my style.

I also feel like I am at a moral impasse with giving him the money for my half of the hotel bill.

On one hand I want to give it to him, because I said I would, and I hold my word is my bond. But, at the same time I wonder "why would someone who I held in the highest esteem deprive someone he supposedly loved of the tiniest asking of affirmation? It's like he's gone completely cold, and it kills me. He gives me with nothing but reasonable doubt. I blame myself. Maybe I shouldn't.

Did I mention that he is younger than me? I am 28. He, 22.

I know there was/is a maturity difference there, but I was blinded.