file cabinet
New member
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 411
- nicking your balls with a razor in the shower (yeah, it hurts)
- black out drunk, wake up finding a book in your passenger seat that you apparently purchased
- learning a new yoga pose where, if done correctly, will massage your ovary with the heal of your fate (if female), or your prostate (if male)
- what would german accent day be like
- "eyes are the air conditioner to the soul"
- "you look too fucked up, I'm not letting you in, please leave"
- replacing tooth picks in restaurants with dental floss
- receiving text messages from the future
- when searching for a new car online, I find a car that I like, but when I click on it, it is my car and I am sitting inside of the car
- broken windows at new apartment by vandals leads to eviction by crazy landlord
- like the fake popeye candy cigarettes, there are candies that look like over the counter pills leading to young children looking for candy in their parents bathroom
- disposing of Lysol cans in the river to create a balance in the world with all the environmentalists
- girl with fake boobs at the club tells me how it makes her arms numb
- the soap scum on the bathroom gets so bad that when you become shrunken by a shrink ray, you discover a highly evolved planet
- taking out a 250k life insurance policy and when you die, they have a rave at your funeral
- farting in front of the life insurance salesman
- death by elephant jokes
- the time I went to White Castle at 1am and someone choked me because he thought I looked like Napolean Dynamite
- the time I was on an airplane and one of the engines blew and I could see out the flames of the engine out the window... so we returned to vegas for another flight
- the time I went swimming in a hot tub in a hotel room in the nude when a number of people were around
- the time I drank so much at a club and ended up in an ambulance going to a hospital. at the hospital I took out the IV and it bled some
- the time a nurse was trying to draw blood and she stuck it in my arm instead of my vein. I had to come back a few days later to get my blood drawn correctly.
- the time my friend threw a jug a wine off the 7th floor balcony and I woke up 4 hours later and found it intact but a little dirty
- the time I blacked out for an hour then ended up in a car taking pills and someone with an accordion needed a ride, so we drove him where he needed to be and he played songs along the way. he even let me play a little.
- the time where I blacked out and my friend told me later that I was puking out the side of his car at a red light and people eating outside of a restaurant applauded my puking
- the time my landlord came over at midnight to pick up the mail and he saw us partying so we got our first warning and began to pave the way for being evicted. he still comes over at 4:30am Saturday night to pick up the mail so we don't party as much now.
- the time I was at a bar and went into the bathroom and had to stand on my tippy toes to pee into the urinal.. then I found out I was peeing in a sink.. then I found out I was in the womens bathroom.. then I slowly zipped up my pants
- the time I was peeing during a thunderstorm on a roof on the side of a chimney and the wind knocked me over
- the time my friend kicked out the window in my car
- the time my two friends got in a fight and punched each other in the face over where Taco Bell was
- the time I went camping with friends and we didn't bring any matches
- the time I was at a rave and dropped someone's bowl and it shattered on the ground
- the time I blacked out at a club because I snuck in a bottle of vodka. I woke up in my bed and sat out in the living room. my friend woke up and asked me how I got home (I think I may have taken a cab?...)
- the time my friend came over and started making out with my roommate's date. my roommate also eventually ended getting knocked unconscious by some random people that night but for unrelated reasons.
- showering without a shower curtain which results in people in seeing me from the street. neighbor person gawks from his porch.
- take out a tea bag instead of a condom in the heat of the moment, and drink tea.
- being the person who monitors the conjugal visit line and cleans the room afterward
- black out drunk, wake up finding a book in your passenger seat that you apparently purchased
- learning a new yoga pose where, if done correctly, will massage your ovary with the heal of your fate (if female), or your prostate (if male)
- what would german accent day be like
- "eyes are the air conditioner to the soul"
- "you look too fucked up, I'm not letting you in, please leave"
- replacing tooth picks in restaurants with dental floss
- receiving text messages from the future
- when searching for a new car online, I find a car that I like, but when I click on it, it is my car and I am sitting inside of the car
- broken windows at new apartment by vandals leads to eviction by crazy landlord
- like the fake popeye candy cigarettes, there are candies that look like over the counter pills leading to young children looking for candy in their parents bathroom
- disposing of Lysol cans in the river to create a balance in the world with all the environmentalists
- girl with fake boobs at the club tells me how it makes her arms numb
- the soap scum on the bathroom gets so bad that when you become shrunken by a shrink ray, you discover a highly evolved planet
- taking out a 250k life insurance policy and when you die, they have a rave at your funeral
- farting in front of the life insurance salesman
- death by elephant jokes
- the time I went to White Castle at 1am and someone choked me because he thought I looked like Napolean Dynamite
- the time I was on an airplane and one of the engines blew and I could see out the flames of the engine out the window... so we returned to vegas for another flight
- the time I went swimming in a hot tub in a hotel room in the nude when a number of people were around
- the time I drank so much at a club and ended up in an ambulance going to a hospital. at the hospital I took out the IV and it bled some
- the time a nurse was trying to draw blood and she stuck it in my arm instead of my vein. I had to come back a few days later to get my blood drawn correctly.
- the time my friend threw a jug a wine off the 7th floor balcony and I woke up 4 hours later and found it intact but a little dirty
- the time I blacked out for an hour then ended up in a car taking pills and someone with an accordion needed a ride, so we drove him where he needed to be and he played songs along the way. he even let me play a little.
- the time where I blacked out and my friend told me later that I was puking out the side of his car at a red light and people eating outside of a restaurant applauded my puking
- the time my landlord came over at midnight to pick up the mail and he saw us partying so we got our first warning and began to pave the way for being evicted. he still comes over at 4:30am Saturday night to pick up the mail so we don't party as much now.
- the time I was at a bar and went into the bathroom and had to stand on my tippy toes to pee into the urinal.. then I found out I was peeing in a sink.. then I found out I was in the womens bathroom.. then I slowly zipped up my pants
- the time I was peeing during a thunderstorm on a roof on the side of a chimney and the wind knocked me over
- the time my friend kicked out the window in my car
- the time my two friends got in a fight and punched each other in the face over where Taco Bell was
- the time I went camping with friends and we didn't bring any matches
- the time I was at a rave and dropped someone's bowl and it shattered on the ground
- the time I blacked out at a club because I snuck in a bottle of vodka. I woke up in my bed and sat out in the living room. my friend woke up and asked me how I got home (I think I may have taken a cab?...)
- the time my friend came over and started making out with my roommate's date. my roommate also eventually ended getting knocked unconscious by some random people that night but for unrelated reasons.
- showering without a shower curtain which results in people in seeing me from the street. neighbor person gawks from his porch.
- take out a tea bag instead of a condom in the heat of the moment, and drink tea.
- being the person who monitors the conjugal visit line and cleans the room afterward
