Christmas Eve - Tertiary Fi

[INTJMom]

I had a horrible Christmas Eve. It was a lousy evening. I had a conflict 3 minutes after I walked in the door. If I had my way, I would have left immediately. The acid in my stomach lasted for a half hour and the emotional discomfort lasted all evening. I was so uncomfortable, at one point I started to leave my body - at least I think that's what was happening - just to be able to survive it. I considered shooting myself so I wouldn't ever have to go there again. I hate being forced to compromise everything I want just to please other people. I’m sick of doing it year after year.

It was definitely a struggle with my tertiary Fi.

 

[Salomé]

How are you doing now?

 

[INTJMom]

I'm doing much better now. When I had to go back Christmas Day, I brought a bottle of rum with me. I figured if I was going to have to deal with a bunch of drunks, I didn't want to care while I was doing it.

The next day, I didn't want to see any vestiges of Christmas and started taking down decorations, but as I've been working out my feelings, and remembering all the good things I enjoyed this Christmas season, the bad is sort of paling in comparison.

But I definitely think that the plans for next year are going to have to change.

 

[Xander]

Can you not state your intentions for the next Christmas season and give people the choice "either join in or go away"?

I did that once and it was difficult and filled with fights but it's been a lot better since then.

 

[INTJMom]

Now that my husband is gone, the kids and I have discussed it, and we all want to stay home this Christmas Eve... so that's what we're doing!
Yay!

Next Christmas, my daughter will be married with a home of her own, if everything goes according to plan, so this is probably the last year I will have the chance to have my 3 kids in my home on Christmas Eve.