proteanmix
Plumage and Moult
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 5,514
- Enneagram
- 1w2
That statement completely made my day.
So they finally did the layoffs today. 24 positions eliminated 10 of them from live bodies. The other 14 were vacant positions from a hiring freeze instituted this year.
Two of ten layoffs were in my immediate department. Not shocking that two people in my department were laid off, shocking that out of all the employees at my organization only 4 departments (out of dozens) suffered layoffs. Whole divisions remained untouched, but my department loses two people. And one of them was the executive assistant to the director, which left us flabbergasted.
I was told why worry about it now, your job is safe (until when?) so don't worry. What makes me slightly outraged is my division director. She's been on vacation for all of December through the 16th. All the other division directors told their people they were getting laid off except her. She consistently shows a callous disregard towards her subordinates and barely comes to work. She'll throw us a division luncheon real quick and act like everything's a-ok, but it's not. She's a coward.
This job has made me learn so much about myself. I can't even describe how self-aware I've become dealing with the office politics and the constant trying to figure my boss out. I look at my supervisor who was so secure in the fact that she wasn't going to lose her job that she didn't even come to the meeting we had when the director told us there were going to be layoffs. That security, that absolute knowing that you are safe while other people are on the line and then pretending like you don't know what's going on. I tried to ask her about it at the end of the day and I got to "So did you hear about the lay--" and she said "OK I'll see you tomorrow!" What the fuck?
Last week I told her I was feeling demotivated and demoralized at work and she's says "Wow, I've never really understood that. I guess I just have a lot of dopamine and serotonin in my brain!!" No sympathy, no acknowledgment of my feelings, no plan of action to how we can tackle this, just "dig in and stay focused!" I knew it was pointless before I went in there, but I kept hoping against hope maybe she would respond with some encouragement or some hint that she was open to communicating with me more and better or something. I was hoping that she would see that I wanted to be one of the people who would be laid off so that I wouldn't have to play her games anymore. But all she does is rattle some shit off about serotonin. I was hoping that she see that I'm very hungry and want to move up in that organization and her complacency and satisfaction with the status quo and rubbernecking is going to be the downfall of that department.
That started me to thinking about who is responsible for my happiness. Professionally, will I have to leap from job to job in order to grow and fulfill my potential? Should I expect to be nurtured somewhere? Is this something I'll have to let go of? Of course, I'm responsible for my own success but I need the opportunity and know-how from somewhere.
Personally I'm so scared to think about it...I think to myself, wow I hope my husband is good with money cause I've got holes in my pockets. Wow I hope he's good at taking care of the cars because I don't want to do that. Wow, I hope, I hope. But will it really be his responsibility to fix my problems? To deal with my lack of self-control? I just don't know where I can expect someone else to help me with something and where I need to take my destiny into my hands. I just don't know what's fair to expect from others and what's fair to expect from myself. Maybe I need a complete attitude shift: Don't expect anyone to help you with anything. Become as self-sufficient and independent as possible. Ha, that's so unromantic.
So today on the subway I hear this guy yelling: "CDs! DVDs! Midget Porn!" and I had to bite back hysterical laughter. I snapped out of my haze and looked around me thinking this is the oddest thing since getting fucked with the holy staff of Moses. Everyone else looked straightfaced. I dunno, I thought it was hilarious. Lifted my spirits.
So they finally did the layoffs today. 24 positions eliminated 10 of them from live bodies. The other 14 were vacant positions from a hiring freeze instituted this year.
Two of ten layoffs were in my immediate department. Not shocking that two people in my department were laid off, shocking that out of all the employees at my organization only 4 departments (out of dozens) suffered layoffs. Whole divisions remained untouched, but my department loses two people. And one of them was the executive assistant to the director, which left us flabbergasted.
I was told why worry about it now, your job is safe (until when?) so don't worry. What makes me slightly outraged is my division director. She's been on vacation for all of December through the 16th. All the other division directors told their people they were getting laid off except her. She consistently shows a callous disregard towards her subordinates and barely comes to work. She'll throw us a division luncheon real quick and act like everything's a-ok, but it's not. She's a coward.
This job has made me learn so much about myself. I can't even describe how self-aware I've become dealing with the office politics and the constant trying to figure my boss out. I look at my supervisor who was so secure in the fact that she wasn't going to lose her job that she didn't even come to the meeting we had when the director told us there were going to be layoffs. That security, that absolute knowing that you are safe while other people are on the line and then pretending like you don't know what's going on. I tried to ask her about it at the end of the day and I got to "So did you hear about the lay--" and she said "OK I'll see you tomorrow!" What the fuck?
Last week I told her I was feeling demotivated and demoralized at work and she's says "Wow, I've never really understood that. I guess I just have a lot of dopamine and serotonin in my brain!!" No sympathy, no acknowledgment of my feelings, no plan of action to how we can tackle this, just "dig in and stay focused!" I knew it was pointless before I went in there, but I kept hoping against hope maybe she would respond with some encouragement or some hint that she was open to communicating with me more and better or something. I was hoping that she would see that I wanted to be one of the people who would be laid off so that I wouldn't have to play her games anymore. But all she does is rattle some shit off about serotonin. I was hoping that she see that I'm very hungry and want to move up in that organization and her complacency and satisfaction with the status quo and rubbernecking is going to be the downfall of that department.
That started me to thinking about who is responsible for my happiness. Professionally, will I have to leap from job to job in order to grow and fulfill my potential? Should I expect to be nurtured somewhere? Is this something I'll have to let go of? Of course, I'm responsible for my own success but I need the opportunity and know-how from somewhere.
Personally I'm so scared to think about it...I think to myself, wow I hope my husband is good with money cause I've got holes in my pockets. Wow I hope he's good at taking care of the cars because I don't want to do that. Wow, I hope, I hope. But will it really be his responsibility to fix my problems? To deal with my lack of self-control? I just don't know where I can expect someone else to help me with something and where I need to take my destiny into my hands. I just don't know what's fair to expect from others and what's fair to expect from myself. Maybe I need a complete attitude shift: Don't expect anyone to help you with anything. Become as self-sufficient and independent as possible. Ha, that's so unromantic.
So today on the subway I hear this guy yelling: "CDs! DVDs! Midget Porn!" and I had to bite back hysterical laughter. I snapped out of my haze and looked around me thinking this is the oddest thing since getting fucked with the holy staff of Moses. Everyone else looked straightfaced. I dunno, I thought it was hilarious. Lifted my spirits.
