[Traditional Enneagram] Can wings change?

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

For instance, could a 2w1 become a 2w3?

 

[Frosty]

I think its possible for people to eventually develop their secondary wing, usually they start really focusing on it when they reach about middle age in my opinion. Its about like developing your opposite handedness arm, its never going to be your preferred but it can get pretty strong.

Thats just my opinion though

 

[Dreamer]

I've actually been thinking on this mildly in the background, like a mental back burner sorta thing for some time, but what about this question: Does anyone think there is a possibility that Enneagram types can change throughout one's life?

It's a system based on core fears and weaknesses, well, what if you've gotten over those fears by confronting them and working over your inner demons, but because life is ongoing, an experience happens that strikes a deep chord within you that alters how you look at things and you subconsciously develop that into a new core fear, or maybe your initial one has now been "modified" as it certainly wouldn't be some convenient scenario of simply replacing one fear for another back to back.

So, with this thought in mind, what I've been sort of mulling over, I would say yes, your wings CAN change.

 

[Kingu Kurimuzon]

I think I was a 9w1 in my youth and young adulthood. More conflict avoidant, more willing to roll over for aggressive people in the interest of keeping the peace. However I’ve become very assertive in my 30s, for example being a lot more outspoken and forceful with superiors at work, standing my ground more in any sort of conflict or argument, not being as afraid to call bullshit when I smell it..

I like this about me, it’s more of how I always wanted to be, but was too afraid to be, out of fear of upsetting others or social balance. It’s like evolving from a deer to a bear.

 

[Starry]

Both 9w1 and 9w8 have access to healthy expressions of e6 counterphobia. IOW even though e6 is 9s stress point...most theorists that I've somehow managed to select to read do not see these pathways as one-way streets. As in...if you are stressed you will take on unhealthy e6 qualities (only) and if you are in good health that can only mean you have undoubtedly incorporated healthy e3 qualities into your person.


I think intergration for many is getting your stress point worked out if that makes sense.

 

[Hiraeth]

I think most of us use both wings, but naturally prefer one over the other. I always had more of a 5 wing growing up and still do, but in reality would like to shapeshift into more of a 3 wing. There are times the 3 wing comes out of the woodwork, only to slither away and have the 5 wing take over again. It's there, but I don't know if I'd ever completely swing the other way too. I can easily see myself balancing it out one day though.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

I can only speak from my own experience. But as I observe, in both myself and others, that we seem to have both wings about equally. They're there with us throughout the day, they influence our thoughts and our other patterns, they trade off, and they do this about 50-50.

However, there is typically (some people don't show this pattern) a "dominant" wing that people seem to favor in themselves and draw upon more to express outwardly. It's more than behaviour; it shows up in your value system and self-image and coping strategies.

So can we change it? I don't know. I can't. Throughout my 20s I became increasingly aware of my 9-wing, but the tendencies were already there. I can never value 9ness or internalize it as part of my values-system or self-image, at least nowhere near the degree that I always have for 7. Actually, the most I've been able to do is learn to front 9-style strategies to help me overcome some of my type-related problems...this leaves me with the problem of falling into apathy as a defense, though, and I question its value.

 

[Galena]

If wings can change, mine vacilitate almost pathologically.

 

[1487610420]

it depends on the wind

 

[SigmaEnigma]

Yea I'd say so. Even quite frequently with people who have near balanced wings.

 

[Luigi]

I was extremely aggressive and confrontational of anything I didn't like when I was a kid. Now I give up before I even try to fight. I withdraw and isolate myself cause I'm convinced it's gonna be pointless. I also shut myself off from as many people as possible because people are just rude, and all I want is respect. That's something I can't let go of, I always just want respect and love. Why? Cause I give it to people I value, people I want to be friends with and form a deep connection with. Experience proves that nobody cares. Cause I've done that all my life and now I'm alone. So yeah . . . people just suck, even though I'm a really good guy, everyone is determined to paint me as evil. That's why I relate to villains. The "bad" characters with depth, none of them see themselves as evil, but everyone else does. I understand that. I respect that.

anyway - I guess this could be:

• 1w2 to 1w9 or
• 8w7 to 8w9 or
• 3w2 to 3w4

 

[misfortuneteller]

No. Anyone who says different is lying.

 

[misfortuneteller]

I think I was a 9w1 in my youth and young adulthood. More conflict avoidant, more willing to roll over for aggressive people in the interest of keeping the peace. However I’ve become very assertive in my 30s, for example being a lot more outspoken and forceful with superiors at work, standing my ground more in any sort of conflict or argument, not being as afraid to call bullshit when I smell it..

This is called integration.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

I've always been 9w8.

 

[neko 4]

I am more like a Five in that I don't need lots of relationships and like privacy a lot. But the Three wing comes out in my job when I do presentations.

 

[Himmel]

I think yes, especially when mental problems, personality disorders or any changes appear...I believe that even the core type can change in strange cases but not drastically ofc. So yeah, 2w1 might become a 2w3 in my opinion.