Hi everyone!
I haven't found anything on this yet so i thought i would start a thread about this. MY personality type is ENFP.
So recently i broke up with my ISFJ girlfriend. We had a really deep connection and shared a lot of stuff. She helped me move from my ould house to my dorm room and helped me to establish a life on my own (with her involved in it). I had some drug problems (marihuanna) during this whole period which made me really needy of her and not pushing through on my own goals. It went fine for a year and a few months but after that she had other plans in the direction that she wanted to do. Because of this i was even more needy and didn't respect her freedom. The drug problem really killed our relationship (i woke up every day with a weed hangover and didn't even think this was from the weed) because i was negative at times and too clingy.
She had a hard time breaking up with me and became silent in the last month when i was with her and she lashed out sometimes. I stopped smoking ind that month and i felt really great as a person which made me not negative and clingy anymore. The problem was that she didn't feel good after this anymore and decided to break up. She felt sorry for me because of it and i had a really hard time with it (i have a lot of guilt because i know that without my addiction getting worse this would'nt have happened). We texted after that constantly and after seeing each other for a few times we had sex again. She told me she just wanted sex and nothing more. After that we spend 3 days together cooking,watching some movies and studying together. In this whole period we still texted every day and a lot.
She got sick and i cared for her for three days in a row so she could get better and after three days i had a hard time with the whole situation (it looked as if we had a relationship but i couldn't see anything in it) so i toled her that.She basicaly got mad at me and didn't want to see me for a week. She only wanted to do fun stuff after our breakup and avoided any negativity until last week i confronted her with her avoiding conflict. I told her that she could see that i was changed as a person and that i was really hurt by her when she lashed out at me after caring for her for three days. She started crying and and told me it's better if we won't see each other for a month so i respected that. I respected everything she wanted after this breakup.
The problem i have right now is that i really want to get my ISFJ partner back. Not out of neediness because i can basicly find someone new and move on. I sincerely love the person as how she is and i have a different view on a relationship (not needy or negative) since i stopped smoking!
What is the best that i can do?
I haven't found anything on this yet so i thought i would start a thread about this. MY personality type is ENFP.
So recently i broke up with my ISFJ girlfriend. We had a really deep connection and shared a lot of stuff. She helped me move from my ould house to my dorm room and helped me to establish a life on my own (with her involved in it). I had some drug problems (marihuanna) during this whole period which made me really needy of her and not pushing through on my own goals. It went fine for a year and a few months but after that she had other plans in the direction that she wanted to do. Because of this i was even more needy and didn't respect her freedom. The drug problem really killed our relationship (i woke up every day with a weed hangover and didn't even think this was from the weed) because i was negative at times and too clingy.
She had a hard time breaking up with me and became silent in the last month when i was with her and she lashed out sometimes. I stopped smoking ind that month and i felt really great as a person which made me not negative and clingy anymore. The problem was that she didn't feel good after this anymore and decided to break up. She felt sorry for me because of it and i had a really hard time with it (i have a lot of guilt because i know that without my addiction getting worse this would'nt have happened). We texted after that constantly and after seeing each other for a few times we had sex again. She told me she just wanted sex and nothing more. After that we spend 3 days together cooking,watching some movies and studying together. In this whole period we still texted every day and a lot.
She got sick and i cared for her for three days in a row so she could get better and after three days i had a hard time with the whole situation (it looked as if we had a relationship but i couldn't see anything in it) so i toled her that.She basicaly got mad at me and didn't want to see me for a week. She only wanted to do fun stuff after our breakup and avoided any negativity until last week i confronted her with her avoiding conflict. I told her that she could see that i was changed as a person and that i was really hurt by her when she lashed out at me after caring for her for three days. She started crying and and told me it's better if we won't see each other for a month so i respected that. I respected everything she wanted after this breakup.
The problem i have right now is that i really want to get my ISFJ partner back. Not out of neediness because i can basicly find someone new and move on. I sincerely love the person as how she is and i have a different view on a relationship (not needy or negative) since i stopped smoking!
What is the best that i can do?