Are you a "Difficult Person"?

[Wonkavision]

Are you a "difficult person?"


The following descriptions are compiled from "Dealing with People You Can't Stand" by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner and "Coping with Difficult People" by Dr. Robert M. Bramson.


Which of these, if any, do you relate to the most? :



Sherman Tanks

Pushy, abrupt, and even hostile. Attack until others move out of the way or accept their view of the world. Aggravated by too much discussion or friendly chat.

Positive intent: "Get it done"



Snipers

Hide in crowds. Use jokes and sarcasm to sidetrack, humiliate, and embarrass people. May roll eyes to distract you. Can become tanks if exposed. Friendly snipers use humor to get attention from the group.

Positive intent: "Get it done" and "Get appreciated"



Exploders

Feel thwarted and threatened so they "act out" through tantrums. May storm out of the room or attack others verbally without explanation. May cry or look silently enraged.

Positive intent: "Get appreciated"



Know-it-all Experts

Extremely confident in their abilities. Very accurate and thorough. Tend to ignore other opinions. Quick to criticize and pick at others. Don't like to be contradicted.

Positive intent: "Get it done"



Think-they-know-it-alls

Act like experts. Charismatic or enthusiastic talkers. Like to pontificate about subject in front of others, even though they are not really experts. Tend to be generalists in many fields.

Positive intent: "Get appreciated"



Super-agreeables

Try to please everyone by doing what is asked while sometimes feeling put upon. Over-commit so much that they perform poorly. Use humor to reveal issues.

Positive intent: "Get along"



Indecisives

Avoid making decisions for fear of harming a personal relationship. Hint or beat around the bush to remain honest. Try to postpone decisions until they are not necessary.

Positive intent: "Get along"



Unresponsives

Withdraw from others when frustrated. Stop talking although they appear angry. Wash hands of decision rather than try to influence it. Don't like to rush into action without understanding the background and the details of a project.

Positive intent: "Get it right"



Negativists

Feel hopeless to enact change. Destroy morale. React strongly to problem solving or process changes. Sound bitterer and more hopeless than complainers.

Positive intent: "Get it right"



Complainers

Whine and speak in generalizations about problems. Focus on problems, not solutions. Believe someone else should fix the problem.

Positive intent: "Get it right"





By the way, there are some great coping strategies for dealing with "difficult people".

If you are interested, you can check out this link: Quick Reference for Coping with Difficult People



And for the record:

Although I have probably been all these things at one time or another, I relate most to "Exploders" and "Think-they-know-it-alls."

 

[Nonsensical]

Great thread!

I am trying to put a hand on which ones I fit into, and see myself a little in each one.

But the two most prominent ones are probably indecisive, sniper, and negativity.

 

[BlackCat]

Great post Wonka.

I relate a lot to Sniper and Know-It-All-Expert. But mostly Sniper.

 

[Saslou]

Super agreeable and unresponsive.

 

[Phantonym]

I can see myself in each of these as well. But I guess I can relate the most to the Sniper, although I don't like to humiliate and embarrass people unless I'm really frustrated and on edge.

 

[King sns]

I guess I can relate most to the unresponsives..

"yea whatever. do whatever you want."

(silent the rest of the night unless a direct question is asked to me.) then..

"yea whatever. Like I said. whatever."

 

[simulatedworld]

Hey guys,

Victor was unavailable for comment so he sent his thoughts on this topic through me.

He wanted you all to know that you're delusional children with zero emotional depth and big holes where your souls oughtta be...

Where's your scientific proof that Sherman Tanks exist???????? CLEARLY THIS SYSTEM IS USELESS

 

[King sns]

I see I see..

So Victor is a sniper...

very interesting...

 

[ceecee]

Sniper and Unresponsive.

 

[heart]

I get the most feedback that I am Unresponsive and Negativist.


The people who I think are the most difficult seem to find me difficult in return.

 

[Haphazard]

Sherman tank then unresponsive.

...wait what.

 

[Wonkavision]

Sherman tank then unresponsive.

...wait what.

Wow----that must be hard to deal with!

 

[heart]

Why the belief that most people don't wonder if they are difficult to deal with?

 

[Haphazard]

Wow----that must be hard to deal with!

Yes. Yes it is.

 

[Wonkavision]

Why the belief that most people don't wonder if they are difficult to deal with?

I wouldn't call it a "belief", just a suspicion.

What do you think?

Do you imagine most people reflecting that way?

I don't. But I suppose it's possible.

I appreciate your comment, but I think I'll change my original wording.

I don't want it to distract from the main point of this thread.

 

[wolfy]

I think most people do wonder. People have a tendency to believe others have it more together than they do.

I'm Sniper and Unresponsive. Guerilla warfare.

 

[heart]

I think most people do wonder. People have a tendency to believe others have it more together than they do...

+1

My theory: The thing is that the people who lack intospection/clueless stick out as the most difficult. So the people who appear the most difficult appear to never question it.

But most people when given a private chance to talk frankly reveal their secret fears about being difficult. They may not be able to change their patterns of behavior but they do worry about it.

I wouldn't call it a "belief", just a suspicion.

What do you think?

Do you imagine most people reflecting that way?

I don't. But I suppose it's possible.

I appreciate your comment, but I think I'll change my original wording.

I don't want it to distract from the main point of this thread.

I don't see it as distracting from the "main point" of the thread. It is directly related to the topic which appeared to be "are you a difficult person?", next question is easily, "Do you think about whether or not you are?" and next topic "Do most other people?"

Goodness, some people are really stringent in their idea of what scope the threads can explore. Even INTJ Central isn't that tight about it.

 

[King sns]

Oh I don't wonder if i'm difficult..
I KNOW i'm difficult.

 

[Wonkavision]

I appreciate your comment, but I think I'll change my original wording.

I don't want it to distract from the main point of this thread.

I don't see it as distracting from the "main point" of the thread. It is directly related to the topic which appeared to be "are you a difficult person?", next question is easily, "Do you think about whether or not you are?" and next topic "Do most other people?"

Goodness, some people are really stringent in their idea of what scope the threads can explore. Even INTJ Central isn't that tight about it.

I decided to change my own wording, because I found my own wording to be distracting from my main point.

I'm not sure how that is being "stringent".

I'm assuming you have a good intention with these posts, but I find your approach pretty difficult to deal with.


EDIT:

Heart--I don't mind you challenging me.

I would like to try to get along, even if we don't agree on this.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

^This interaction is very fitting to the thread.