something I've been doing has been upsetting her, but I've not known because she hasn't told me, so I've kept on doing it. I ask her in exasperation why on earth she didn't just say if she had a problem, and she says she was worried that I'd get mad or annoyed at her, and yet when she finally does say what the problem was, I always concede that she has a point, and apologise, and do what I can do improve things in the future, so I really don't know where she gets this idea from that I'm so aggressive and unapproachable...
But, come to think of it, it seems the only people I can really rely on in my life to give me honest feedback in clear and unambiguous terms, without pulling punches (the way I like it) are two ENTJ's and an INTJ... and they don't exactly have great reputations for tact either...
I'd be really interested to hear about other people's experiences with ENTP's and how we come across, as I fear some of it may be lost in translation and I'd like to be able to communicate with the people I know in a way that doesn't make them afraid of me! And I'd also like to know what ways I could use to more effectively get clear and honest feedback from the gentler types... after all, if the only frank advice I'm getting is from similarly assertive types, then it won't help me in dealing with the others and just might exacerbate the problem (if there even is one).
Keep it a secret for nowthats a lie!
i whip every entj i know
Naw! The best way to describe the ENTPs I know would be "casually agressive". If they're being agressive, it's barely noticable and is very laid back and easier to respond to.
thats a lie!
i whip every entj i know
Not agressive- tricky!
Really, sneakiness and such get you a lot farther than pure aggression- and you still have people's goodwill towards you so that you can work with them in the future to get your way again!
Aggression just isn't the smart approach- if you're going to steal someone's money you'll get a lot more by conning them than mugging them :rolli:
yeah exactly the same.yup!
the only time i get aggressive (which is different from assertive) is if i've mentally done the pro/con list in the split second it takes to do it, and it's clear that it's called for in that particular situation.
i won't do it, unless i feel right AND the benefits will make the consequences worth it.
yeah exactly the same.
If it really seems to be the only efficient method in a given context It's like 'here we go, lets do the big voice'
My best friend is an entp, he's just the same when it comes to arguing. I don't think It would be an overstatement to say it takes about 100 times as much to REALLY piss me off compared to any other type I know.*nod*
99% of the time, what seems to others like an out of control outburst, is actually a very contrived and controlled one that's only meant to look that way. because in that situation, and with that person/people, it's clear that that's the only thing they understand.