Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
I used to hate being able to read people. I saw so much hatred, sadness, bitterness, resentment, worst of all selfishness that it drained me out and made me depressed. Thinking about it just now makes me sad and I'm almost crying
.
However I'm seeing a new side to all of this. Applications for use and other things. Like this girl I met the other day. I know that if I met her before I got into all of this I wouldn't have known she was special. But I saw her and started reading her and just grew happier and happier. She was an amazing person, very beautiful on the inside, and pretty cute on the outside too.
With these two polar forces, it puts things back to how I felt before I could do any of this. On an emotional level anyway.
Then there's the odd applications I noticed. A guy, wally, brought Street Fighter IV and Soul Calibur IV to the shop last night. He wanted to play SC4 more than streetfighter and I wondered why, there was something odd about his desire.
I noted that nearly everything he said was defensive and reflected that he cared too much about what you thought of him. I didn't realize what I was doing at the current moment till my match had started. I wanted to play SF4 and he let me even though he wanted to play SC4 just because he was worried about what all the other's would think more so than he was being nice.
Halfway through the match I'm asked if I know how to play ["hyper underestimation" rings through my head and I feel like I had a battle computer that's evaluating my opponent. I try to ignor it]. I don't respond and continue to play against my friend Taaj and just dicked around and had fun like I intended.
Soul Calibur is thrown on and I'm not there to play, but when I come in Wally's won 7 matches or so and I jump in and dick around and try to throw him off the edge in the most amusing fashion. I lost because I didn't care and didn't try anything but to have fun.
Later I picka character I like playing with more than Nightmare [Tira] but am not very good with. I lost again.
After I'm sitting at a table near the games with friends. And I can hear him talking to people and that battle computer thing wont stop this time. I don't want to read him...I feel like a machine programmed to kill. ["His words are attacks, till he feel's threatened. Then he defends. A lack of a response makes him feel threatened as well as changing ignoring and changing topics"].
Then when I glance out the corner of my eye I notice that when he plays, he attacks over and over till his opponent stops moving. Then he gets confused and blocks. If his opponent side steps he blocks. I'm completely weirded out that this guy plays this game the same way he talks to THIS extent [cause really, everyone does everything the same way to a set dagree. But this is rediculous].
I'm outside smoking a cigarette and he's talking to me, and I start feeling bad for the guy. He mention's his brother and how his brother always beats him. But he was bragging earlier about how he was beating everyone who was at the shop now. It doesn't take a psychiatrist to figure this out.
He's worried too much what other people are thinking and has a severe inferiorety complex. So I try to talk to him and explain and say what will help him with this without making it obvious [app. 1.]. I reallize how useful this can be and note that I need to polish this and refine it so that I can do it more often. Cause when he left he made sure to grab my contact info and said we should hang out again sometime.
When we go inside I play him again. This time I let the battle computer voice in my head take over. I listen to it, and then the playful evil child part of me jumps in. I get 2 perfects and a ring out. At some point I was holding block and tapping down so I could teabag my opponent. The ring out was an accident because I was using the flaming unblockable attack of death and knocked him way too far. The next match I said that the last wasn't fun because I didn't feel like playing that way and go back to picking tira.
A few jokes later he doesn't seem to take losing to me so baddly. He seems to recognize that I'm more skilled and know what I'm doing but really don't seem to care about anything other than fun when it comes to that game.
When I tell my sister, Celia, this she mentions how people drive the way they walk. And there's only been one time where she was almost off with this. Her friend martha Drives like a granny, but walks really fast like she's in a hurry and often bumps into people. But it turns out that Martha got in a few accidents and a few speeding tickets so now she forces herself to drive like a granny. But her driving WAS the same as her walking.
I find this interesting myself. I walk and never get hit or bump into people. I do so because I'm aware of everything around me, and I will use any reflective surface to get a greater view of what's going on when I can. I avoid running into people even when it would be their fault and haven't tripped of fallen since I was 12 [skateboarding, sparring matches, and playing sports discluded from this.]. Most of moving out the way of other's who would be at fault is due to agile movements and taking great measure in not getting hit.
When I drive I always know what's around me. I've never been in an accident. I only speed when I know cops aren't around, and I make sure they're not there. I use more than my mirrors to see everything, I use glass building's to the side of me looking through the reflection of the reflection on my mirror to see MORE. In possible accident situations I do extensive moving to get out of the way even though it would never be my fault.
This is a theory I've come up with [that a lot of other people have too on their own] that people recreate themself in everything they do. And whatever they're doing, it's relative to anything else. Oddly I was shocked when I wanted to name my theory and went with what made the most sense "the theory of relativi....fuck, someone else did that. Bastard". So I research this other guys theory and find out it's actually the same. Then I read a few things in history and notice that He wasn't the first to come up with the idea. Other people have described the same concept.
The first experience I had with it that made me think I should stop taking it for granted and work on it more was art class sophomore year of highschool. I was looking at painting's that were on the wall. Some didn't have signatures. But I knew he painted everyone of them. But the catch was Emily Ballard. I had never seen any painting's of her's anywhere. Not once, I couldn't base this off of her work. Also I didn't even talk to her that much. I knew who she was and that was about it. But I knew the unsigned painting on the wall was her's because it felt like her looking at it.
At this point I decided that this thing where I notice people replicating themselves is something I should look into more. I should write more about this next time I'm on here.
.However I'm seeing a new side to all of this. Applications for use and other things. Like this girl I met the other day. I know that if I met her before I got into all of this I wouldn't have known she was special. But I saw her and started reading her and just grew happier and happier. She was an amazing person, very beautiful on the inside, and pretty cute on the outside too.
With these two polar forces, it puts things back to how I felt before I could do any of this. On an emotional level anyway.
Then there's the odd applications I noticed. A guy, wally, brought Street Fighter IV and Soul Calibur IV to the shop last night. He wanted to play SC4 more than streetfighter and I wondered why, there was something odd about his desire.
I noted that nearly everything he said was defensive and reflected that he cared too much about what you thought of him. I didn't realize what I was doing at the current moment till my match had started. I wanted to play SF4 and he let me even though he wanted to play SC4 just because he was worried about what all the other's would think more so than he was being nice.
Halfway through the match I'm asked if I know how to play ["hyper underestimation" rings through my head and I feel like I had a battle computer that's evaluating my opponent. I try to ignor it]. I don't respond and continue to play against my friend Taaj and just dicked around and had fun like I intended.
Soul Calibur is thrown on and I'm not there to play, but when I come in Wally's won 7 matches or so and I jump in and dick around and try to throw him off the edge in the most amusing fashion. I lost because I didn't care and didn't try anything but to have fun.
Later I picka character I like playing with more than Nightmare [Tira] but am not very good with. I lost again.
After I'm sitting at a table near the games with friends. And I can hear him talking to people and that battle computer thing wont stop this time. I don't want to read him...I feel like a machine programmed to kill. ["His words are attacks, till he feel's threatened. Then he defends. A lack of a response makes him feel threatened as well as changing ignoring and changing topics"].
Then when I glance out the corner of my eye I notice that when he plays, he attacks over and over till his opponent stops moving. Then he gets confused and blocks. If his opponent side steps he blocks. I'm completely weirded out that this guy plays this game the same way he talks to THIS extent [cause really, everyone does everything the same way to a set dagree. But this is rediculous].
I'm outside smoking a cigarette and he's talking to me, and I start feeling bad for the guy. He mention's his brother and how his brother always beats him. But he was bragging earlier about how he was beating everyone who was at the shop now. It doesn't take a psychiatrist to figure this out.
He's worried too much what other people are thinking and has a severe inferiorety complex. So I try to talk to him and explain and say what will help him with this without making it obvious [app. 1.]. I reallize how useful this can be and note that I need to polish this and refine it so that I can do it more often. Cause when he left he made sure to grab my contact info and said we should hang out again sometime.
When we go inside I play him again. This time I let the battle computer voice in my head take over. I listen to it, and then the playful evil child part of me jumps in. I get 2 perfects and a ring out. At some point I was holding block and tapping down so I could teabag my opponent. The ring out was an accident because I was using the flaming unblockable attack of death and knocked him way too far. The next match I said that the last wasn't fun because I didn't feel like playing that way and go back to picking tira.
A few jokes later he doesn't seem to take losing to me so baddly. He seems to recognize that I'm more skilled and know what I'm doing but really don't seem to care about anything other than fun when it comes to that game.
When I tell my sister, Celia, this she mentions how people drive the way they walk. And there's only been one time where she was almost off with this. Her friend martha Drives like a granny, but walks really fast like she's in a hurry and often bumps into people. But it turns out that Martha got in a few accidents and a few speeding tickets so now she forces herself to drive like a granny. But her driving WAS the same as her walking.
I find this interesting myself. I walk and never get hit or bump into people. I do so because I'm aware of everything around me, and I will use any reflective surface to get a greater view of what's going on when I can. I avoid running into people even when it would be their fault and haven't tripped of fallen since I was 12 [skateboarding, sparring matches, and playing sports discluded from this.]. Most of moving out the way of other's who would be at fault is due to agile movements and taking great measure in not getting hit.
When I drive I always know what's around me. I've never been in an accident. I only speed when I know cops aren't around, and I make sure they're not there. I use more than my mirrors to see everything, I use glass building's to the side of me looking through the reflection of the reflection on my mirror to see MORE. In possible accident situations I do extensive moving to get out of the way even though it would never be my fault.
This is a theory I've come up with [that a lot of other people have too on their own] that people recreate themself in everything they do. And whatever they're doing, it's relative to anything else. Oddly I was shocked when I wanted to name my theory and went with what made the most sense "the theory of relativi....fuck, someone else did that. Bastard". So I research this other guys theory and find out it's actually the same. Then I read a few things in history and notice that He wasn't the first to come up with the idea. Other people have described the same concept.
The first experience I had with it that made me think I should stop taking it for granted and work on it more was art class sophomore year of highschool. I was looking at painting's that were on the wall. Some didn't have signatures. But I knew he painted everyone of them. But the catch was Emily Ballard. I had never seen any painting's of her's anywhere. Not once, I couldn't base this off of her work. Also I didn't even talk to her that much. I knew who she was and that was about it. But I knew the unsigned painting on the wall was her's because it felt like her looking at it.
At this point I decided that this thing where I notice people replicating themselves is something I should look into more. I should write more about this next time I'm on here.
