Reaction:
- #1 A rapid reevaluation of current standing in life.
- #2 A fervent searching for ways in which to change life - new home, new job, etc. An irrational blaming of other people ("I am unhappy because of how she is behaving." / "He is earning more than I am therefore I am doing something wrong." / "If you were my friend, you would do what I ask of you."" / "If you don't do what I suggest, it means we do not share the same goals.").
- #3 A creation of several mental scenarios based on dubious logic. Decisions that change completely when new input is received (Person A: You should do this!; Person B: No, you should do this!; Person C: No - do this!).
- #4 A valourisation of "strangers'' opinions over confidantes' advice.
- #5 The instigation of a very short time-frame in which to solve all problems.
- #6 Emotional blackmail of friends and emotional manipulation of people to sympathise with plight.
i've been guilty of all this
especially #2. "you would do what i ask of you".
i really, really do not like it when things don't
go my way. it's very difficult for me to take
'no' as an answer, because asking for something
is already difficult enough and especially if it's
something i care about at that moment--even
if it's stupid to the person i'm asking. and when
it's dismissed, i've had a tendency to draw out
that rejection and just start reevaluating everything
while the other person thinks i blow it up...into
something bigger than what it really is... but for
me it's just shit that gets piled on and on and on
...and i really don't like being around very long if
i feel constantly rejected.
to counter most of this, i always try to prepare myself
for a no. but it's taxing for me. a blinsided/unprepared
"no" answer... is one of the most terrible things.
i just wilt. like a sad tulip. droopy droopy.
#3 - listening to other people too much (on how i should do things)
just confuses me. but it's so easy for me to default on that
sometimes and i don't really know why. it's a mix of me being
lazy and not really caring about a lot of things, and i become
complacent and not going for i want. for me it's a super red flag
that something's wrong if i'm listening to too many people. it means
i got lost somehow along the way.
#4 manifests differently for me. i feel i'm more susceptible
to getting lost if i listen too much to other people without
having my own ideas to anchor myself. listening to other
people is more of an exercise to see other viewpoints, but
i don't necessarily apply them to myself. because i always
think i know what's best for me.
---
for the past few months i keep on wondering if i'm possibly
a counterphobic 6 (i'm not). the motivations/stress/fears of
6s don't apply to me. only certain behaviour descriptions,
i always get sucked in to the books with the childhood
backgrounds, i always relate to the 6's description.
but i type myself as 8w7.
