:-).

[INFtha14]

Feeling kind of down...

I wish I just stayed home you know?

I got so excited about going out tonight. That maybe I could have fun. Fun of a different sort.

I love to learn about things and am seeking self growth. What if part of my self growth involves also getting out of my skin/comfort zone but yet here I am. Sometimes I think I want to forget that painful part of myself. I want to feel like that girl who hasn't been through alot of internal pain/who goes out partying. Sometimes i just want to be her... who can shut it all out and be in the moment.

I try to tell myself it wasn't meant to be if there was no space available. One step at a time.

I really ought to learn to be in the present better.

I'm mostly positive ** but there are times I just get down.

I guess it comes down to "Am I going to either A = Have a fun night by myself anyway? Or B = Be miserable getting ticked off and pitying myself for not being able to be out there "living life".

I'd like to aim for A. My stomach is feeling alittle better though thankfully :-D. But I now know what was having me feel off. Full moon is out and is very beautiful and in a foggy haze. Maybe I'll just stay up and watch it in it's beauty. All while reflecting and enjoying the much needed quiet of the night. So far I'm enjoying the Adam sandler movie about where the kids make up bed time stories that come true. Very funny movie. .