the state i am in
Active member
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2009
- Messages
- 2,475
- MBTI Type
- infj
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
well that pretty much sums up my problems.
do you know your enneagram type?
it's easy to be difficult on ourselves for withdrawing, but finding a center/re-centering is difficult. sometimes Fe picks up a lotta noise and needs to let it all pass.
i've found there are definite strategies that can help supplement the occasional withdrawal feeling when you slide too far into your own private world and miss interaction, connection, inspiration, etc. i always turned to renewable resources like music, but in the last year or so i've always found myself in a situation where i have far more N types around me, which helps me feel far more recognized, appreciated, understood. it's just more fun and far less effort trying to MAKE others understand.
at the same time, i still need my processing time. i need to get some concentrated introversion time to allow Ti to wander and work on my various lingering Ni perceptions and perform some clean up, re-arranging, accounting, etc.
feeling loved and feeling loving make it so much easier to open up, absorb more, and feel expansive and all-encompassing.
if i'm having BIG thoughts, i'll let myself take my time to explore them and suss out all their implications. as a 5, sometimes it gets a little counterphobic and i can needlessly go to the worst of places and stay there for a little bit too long, but it is part of what i feel like i have to offer as well. coming out of that stronger than before in this like new incarnation of yourself, it makes me feel like writing my own version of the gay science or twilight of the idols or any other nietzschean triumph. self-renewal and self-mastery feels different than anything else. and then grey-bearded you want come back down from the mountain.