Wolfie
New member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
- Messages
- 552
- MBTI Type
- xNxx
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- so
Well ill explain my position. It is only from anecdotal and personal evidence, but ive always been odd and on the fringe, even when I appear to fit in...I dont. However I would not call myself mysterious or complex, as far as I can tell most people are not mysterious or complex either, but this is only based off those I know intimately.
However ive never noticed any gravitational pull from anyone towards me or vice versa. I suppose im just bitter, but my experience has been like a piece of bait on a line; I have to thrust myself into the pirahna pool of social interaction. I always have to fight for any kind of attention, that's if I actually desire any.
Then these 'mysterious people' pop up with their 'complexity' and im so sidelined that I may as well not bother at all. It seems to me that unique and special are words applied to people so as to keep the dregs and subordinated, (such as myself), under heel so that those touched by 'mystery' can have their fun.
You see the sad reality of the world around us is that we believe in fairness when it really only exists inside our heads and then through our actions because we wish for it to happen. But this produces such trite mentalities as 'there is someone for everyone'....actually there isnt. I know so many people who lived lives of misery and died alone, no friends, family, other relatives or even lovers.
The truth is you either sparkle or you dont, something seems to be...alive within those who sparkle and they become the major players in the stage of life. But me? Im barely a bit part...Crowd member #6....ok you did your part...now exit stage left....
...curtains.
I now understand what you're saying. I can relate to you completely.
I think there are two things that go on here. One, there really are people who present themselves socially in such a way to seem compelling, or as you are putting it "complex". My best friend growing up is once such type. One of the reasons we stopped being such close friends is I perceived her socializing style to be inauthentic. She would bait people with a certain persona that created such wild (and inaccurate) perceptions of her. I know because, as her best friend, people would talk about her to me, and I'd be like, "Huh?" So, yes, there are people who purposefully do that.
Second, there are people who are just going about being themselves and other people are drawn to them, for some reason according their own criteria, not according to some general principle. Sure, some people's criteria might seem complete shit to you or me, but it's them making these connections and the people targeted should not be held liable as if they had been trying to attract that attention.
But I can see where the bitterness comes in. As someone who is shy and more reserved, I constantly feel irritated that I face a life of being ignored unless I learn how to throw out cheap signals to others, like, "Look at me! I'm so interesting!" But really how can I blame them if I sit around being quiet, why should I expect anyone to just magically find me interesting. You can stave off the bitterness at others by realizing that they are just socializing normally. I would suggest reflecting on the part you play in all of it and how you attract (or detract) others. If you aren't an inherently dull person, which I don't think you are, what is it? Don't know the details of your particular situation, but just sharing that this is something that I've been working on.