I bounce back and forth between rather excessive extreemes of depression sometimes, and back to normal again. Not consistant enough though to be considered clinical, yet far too deep to just be standard being upset either.
Main traits I've noticed from such:
- apathy, to the point of not caring about eating/sleeping
- self mutilation, usually in the form of pins or something small so as to not leave permenent damage
- suicide by proxy; I'd never kill myself, however taking a character in a game that's supposed to represent me, and killing them over and over for hours on end seems to occur semi regularly, tending to scare anyone who notices it and unfortunately, due to apathy, I just really don't care about it
- brooding and self loathing
- unable to smile, or fake any sort of enjoyment, even if trying to
- withdraw into self heavily
- only real interaction with others is to push them away, primarily to test if they're willing to put the effort into trying to cling on; the answer to being told to 'go away' at this point is to actually say 'no' no matter how tiring it is. It's a mental and emotional test to see how long it takes before people give up on yeu.
- focus far too heavily on failures, and anything positive one has done just doesn't seem to hold any weight or merit
- generally very reserved and quiet, may even refuse to speak to anyone for some time to see if they even notice, one of many attempts to cry for help and attention without directly asking
- Primarily seeking justification of self, and approval of those they trust, with many elaborate tests designed to get these indirectly. Having to ask for a compliment taints its' value to be meaningless.
*Edit* forgot a few
- Become a blame hog, accepting blame for things that the individual couldn't possibly have had any control over, and obviously isn't their fault, but accepts it as their fault anyway just so they have one more thing to feel bad about
- WANTS to feel bad, and on some bizzare level almost enjoys it, seeking the consolation of others, as it's one of the very rare few times of actually allowing sensitivities to show without remorse
These're just for myself, but that's whot I'd expect to see for most.
As for the rest of whot yeu stated, about growing up 'not being the smartest', I dunno I haven't experienced that myself. I'm sure it's occured at least on a few occasions for various reasons though.
Keep in mind that technically it doesn't neccesarily mean they ARE smart, it means that they put whot they HAVE to exceptional use, and value learning, which generally translates into becomming smarter. It doesn't neccesarily guarantee it from the start though.