Mane said:
sp's don't invest their own money into their own startup companies when they have nothing but debt.
sp's don't fight with their apartment-providing job's bosses when they know it means being homeless for awhile.
sp's don't propose after 4 months of knowing someone thinking "i want to be with her forever anyway, why not?"
I've done the first two essentially, and the last I might have done except I'm not a woman who would propose (but I'd probably accept that soon into something if it "felt right"). Some of this is Pe... But I do think my Pe gets inhibited in some ways by being sp-dom. I'd love to up & go to another country with no real plan or safety net for income & housing. But a part of me doesn't feel so confident in my ability to improvise, which Pe-dom have a better handle on.
Let's just keep in mind that sp-dom is not necessarily being stable or responsible, especially when you take core type into account.
I'm basically living in a guest room right now with no desire to set roots in a place of my own, half my stuff in storage, and after years of no steady work, I argue with my boss & take other liberties many would call reckless (I feel like bosses always love me more when I'm unapologetically authentic though; never been fired yet!). However, when I'm jobless I hustle & bustle to get income (whether successful or not). It becomes a focus to provide "independence" for myself. Once I feel some sense of it, I don't even necessarily use it (hence the guest room). The same with food - I just like to know it's there, and once I do, then I may forget to eat.
Anyhow,
so last for me means:
- You're unaware of all of your social failures until they begin to impede meeting your sp & sx drives (uh oh... I have no network to find work or a lover!). You didn't even know you were on the outside looking in....
- You don't care about who is dating who or whatever dynamics are happening between people in a group. You don't even really understand these dynamics; it all looks silly to you. Often, you're oblivious to it all. You may only pick up on intimate dynamics between you & someone else.
- You'd rather be excited by someone than comfortable with them. Being comfortable in a group is especially dull & tedious. You either want to be alone & detached or enraptured by someone. Moderating your responses to be palatable is a challenge, a chore, & something you're not great at. If you're sp-dom, then you choose detachment a lot & seem to talk "at" people.
- You have trouble seeing the value of "reputation", have little to no awareness of your own rep, and don't put much stock in acknowledging others' reps (taking people at face value, sometimes to your detriment). Popularity means almost nothing to you.
- You're unaware of status & don't put stock in it, so any material sp related interests are very personal & about meeting individual needs
- Your home is set up to be comfortable to yourself, not company...you don't think in terms of "entertaining"
- You're unaware of your own influence on a group, and you may inadvertently be seen as a rebel force or a leader or an expert (because you unwittingly send out some signal that you're willing/able to do it).
- You're a loner, and it's not just because of shyness...
- You've never been a part of any clique or social circle & you've never cared to be.
- You can be widely known & active in a community of sorts, but not be a part of any circles within it. You're always on the fringe, keeping people at arm's length without even meaning to. Your purpose for being in a group is never to become a "part" of it
- You're neither suspicious nor trusting of people. You tend to respond to them according to how interesting they are to you & how interesting you are to them.
- You may blur lines when it comes to social/cultural categories, without being aware of it having any significance or offense to some people
- You're hot or cold, with little inbetween. You tend to talk at people in a disconnected way or magnetize & become magnetized, but casual, friendly interaction is hard.
- You refuse to get "involved" because you can't see the point of it
- It's almost impossible to snub you because you neither care nor even really notice
- Politics are a big snooze fest. You might as well live under a rock when it comes to current events & celebrity gossip.
- SO types can seem full of BS but also "magical" with the way they bond comfortably or influence others
- You may assume people do/don't like you more than they do because you don't notice or understand signs of approval/disapproval. You may assume "invisibleness" too.
- You have to be careful not to always be a voice of dissent. You often fail to grasp the bonding processes people use to form social connections, so you don't jump on the "consensus bandwagon". You unwittingly make yourself an opposing force, someone for people to band against (this was a hard lesson in elementary school; I quickly withdrew once I experienced its effects)
Most of this is summed up as a lack of awareness of social dynamics, and then sometimes not caring even when aware because of a devaluing of its benefits. Also, comfort is not in "belonging", but in being an individual, as people relations are seen as something to excite & stir things up.
I think some is definitely related to core type & MBTI also... but this is how I experience so-last.