Feeling distaste and low key dread.
Like it's ironic it's going to end up this way, after we managed to pay back the debts from 2000s. I got 24$ of pocket money. Funny thing. It's weird to buy stuff knowing I'll be dead in, like half-a-year or so.
I donated 33% of it to a fellow artist in need, as one does. Though because I'm always surrounded by inhuman monsters no one will do it for me. I think it's like 1% of true humans that usually donate - that artist exploded in 2015 and had 10000s of likes on some of his posts, so he may actually have 10s of 1000s of followers. Out of it, looking at Ko-Fi stats he has 60 supporters.
Assuming 1 (even sporadic) supporter per 100 followers, he has about 6000 followers.
I'm always stuck below 1000 followers. After two years of regular activity, my Tumblr has 375 followers and that's my most popular account.
For the rest, I bought myself a military history book about 1st Polish Armored Division. I probably should read 4 books I have about that unit first and leave reading about example battles 1854-1918 to some later time if somehow I'll survive.
Feeling dread, to the point of stomach aches after doing the calculations. I'm stuck, I don't think I'll ever have enough followers to receive support. Everything because of evils of so called humanity. One needs to have so many followers to have one true human follower. The rest is just soulless zombies.
Feeling hatred and disgust towards all these ableist social Darwinists. Disgusting inhuman filth.