the ones that drain you emotionally, that make you feel awful for no reason or feel entitled and grief you to get what they want? the ones that detract from the value of your life?
"make her feel stupid so she will feel incomplete and need you" - cousin
they cannibalize the psyche of others for their own benefit.
aside from kicking their ass, how do you handle these monsters?
Toxic people are something I've tried to develop a system for for a long time... Usually, my gut instincts help me out a lot with this, but in the past I've ignored them due to many reasons, all of which were stupid, and I've had them trickle into my life. From time to time, I have to deal with them now-a-days.
To give a few examples:
An ex-boyfriend was extremely toxic, and I finally rid myself of him too long ago.. 5 years (nearly) later, he wants to be my friend on FB and say whats up and how it's awful we don't ever talk anymore, etc. While it seems as though he was being nice, and I'd be a bitch (maybe in others' eyes), I called him out on his shit and told him not to fuckin' bother. The result: The good-ole Dr. Seuss Saying.. with matters and minds and whatnot. It came out in my favor.
A co-worker was shamming, and just generally being in a negative damper.. it was affecting my shop and my team that I was running. I collected data, recorded situations, talked to my most trusted employee so I'd have vouchers and eye-witness testimony as well, and then took it all up with the boss. I dealt with it as best as I could until then. When he told me to try and handle it myself, I took her out in the back for a little misunderstanding. One time, she tried to sham on writing tickets, the 'hardest' thing we did (aka: simple math via calculators must be done.).. I assigned her to that for the whole day, since my hips were killing me too much that day (usually I did it since it's the worst job). She pawned it off on another co-worker while my back was turned and walked in the back for no reason, again. I walk back there.
Me: I said write tickets, as in the whole day, not until Jes gets back.
Her: DOn't start with me! I am NOT in a good mood, and I don't need this attitude!
Me: ALRIGHT. I've had e-fucking-nough. You're coming with me, we're grabbing Dominic, and I'm going to the head of (company) RIGHT now. Both of us cannot work at this shop, and you are LEECHING our income while doing nothing all fucking day! ONE of us will leave here today, and I'm confident it won't be me! Can you say the same!?
Her: ... I-
Me: I fucking thought so. You move so much as 2 feet from that ticket book, you're fucking done, you hear me?!
Something along those lines was said..
Now here's where I'm still stuck with these toxic personnel..
My sister's mother-in-law: EXTREMELY volatile, toxic manic-depressive woman. Drinks too much while on meds she shouldn't be taking, suicidal on more than one occasion. Has gone far enough to burn peoples things down to the ground. And yet, my sister and her husband still include her in family events, allow her into their lives, which she continues to try and destroy with passive-aggressive behavior and Im-your-mother guilt trips. My sister and her husband are suckers and lap that shit up like a dog's tongue on beer.
As for me, I'd rather lick rusty nails than go anywhere near that bullshit. I've played the quiet, whatever-just-don't-talk-to-me-in-particular person, but she only mistakes that for kindness instead of resisting the urge to punch her square in the jaw. Lately, she's tried to hug me and say hi, to which I told my sister, "The next time that woman tries to play friendly with me, I'm calling her out and I don't care who the fuck is there. You'd better let her know."
We'll see how that goes.