chapter 4... proving that things really DO get worse
"I tried the somber 'Land of Death' approach in the past, but found it to be rather depressing, and people kept escaping. Ever wonder where zombie legends come from? Not disease or trances, but from people escaping from a dreary afterlife. I let the dead choose the redecorating scheme- I'm sure you'll find it rather charming, if eclectic."
We turned to walk inland and I was surprised to see a giant pyramid made of luminescent rock behind us. "Don't be surprised by anything you see... have you ever wondered what a mind like da Vinci's can come up with after a few centuries of sitting in a dreary, gray world?"
A flock of jellyfish floated by in the air, tentacles streaming sparkles. "I hadn't, but I'm starting to get an idea of what sort of things!"
The air smelled like cotton candy and I could SWEAR that I saw a pterodactyl flying overhead by the light of the 3 (yes, 3) moons. I was starting to wonder if this is what a GOOD trip on acid is like. The one time I tried it I became convinced that I was a hologram and wept inconsolably in the corner for an hour. I even dumped a glass of water on my lap to prove that, since the floor got wet, I really WAS a hologram. People milled around, dressed as if for a historical costume party, and I was starting to wonder if people dressed for any time period that they wanted. I think that I even managed to see Rudolph Valentino's wang. My great grandma would have been so jealous, except for she probably gets to see it all of the time now.
"So, the afterlife is more like the afterparty?"
"Pretty much, anymore. I've got to admit that it's a pleasant change from the doom and gloom that I'd been living in- I've never been much of an interior decorator though."
"I'm going to hazard a guess and say that we aren't underground then," I suggested.
"No... I really don't get the death is underground thing that people have going on in so many cultures. The earth's mantle and core are underground, we're someplace else. Another dimension, if that explanation makes any sense to you. Anything is possible here."
A few dogs ran past and one stopped to sniff my leg... I pulled back for fear that it would decide to pee. I guess dogs (who don't choose reincarnation anyways) really DO go to heaven sort of... what the hell happened to heaven, or for that matter hell? I suppose there's no point to behaving now, not that I had any plans to.
I ran my hands around Death's waist and asked "so where's YOUR place?"
Wonders of the dead can wait a moment.
"My place is any place that I would like for it to be... want to explore the pyramid, or would you rather get a cabana on the beach?"
So much for getting to know somebody by snooping through their stuff... "So you really don't have a home of your own?"
"Not any one place, but I can MAKE any place my home- and not in the transient 'king of the road' type manner that one might associate with that sentiment."
"This I've GOT to see! Let's go for the pyramid- it seems to be an interesting choice!"
We walked towards the pyramid, the occasional strange look thrown our direction... I don't think that Death brought home personal guests very often. As we got closer, I noticed that the pyramid didn't have a door.
"How are we supposed to get in the pyramid? Walk through the wall?"
"Why not?"
I reached out and touched the pyramid... it felt kind of like if glass and jello had a really odd love child, but it didn't leave my hand sticky. Death stepped through the wall like it wasn't a big deal, so I held by breath and followed... it was kind of odd, like stepping through cellophane, but at least it wasn't slimy, like I'd feared.
Inside the pyramid were more people, as it was apparently also a discotheque of sorts, or a casino- I wasn't really sure which. I kept following Death as he walked through the crowd to an elevator though.
"So you don't have doors but you have elevators?"
"Some things are done for novelty, it seems, and some for comfort- most people quit flying after they've tried it a few times because the novelty wears off."
"Wait... dead people can FLY? That is TOO cool!"
We took the elevator up some distance and then stepped out into what looked like a nice hotel hallway on one of the top floors, as there was only one door. He opened the door and it led to a flight of stairs, which took us into the top room of the pyramid.
The walls appeared to be made of glass and the floor was springy like a mattress... I took a tentative jump and realized that it was indeed like jumping on a bed. This was awesome! I bounced around, circling Death while he looked amused- then I knocked him over in hopes of knocking that smug smile off of his face.
"Hey!" He giggled, "is that any way to treat your host?"
I crawled up the length of his body and planted a big sloppy kiss on his lips "maybe not, but this is!"
We giggled around on the mattress-floor for a bit before I decided that his pants absolutely MUST go. I removed his belt and shoes and then pants, all of which I threw off to the side. I then removed my sandals, sweater and skirt, noting that I really HAD burned a hole in my leg... I kept the bra... there's only so much bouncing I wanted to do.
"Want some music?" Death inquired, unbuttoning his shirt.
"Night on Bald Mountain?" I suggested... call me a dork, but if I was getting down and dirty with Death I wanted something sinister to accompany it. As soon as I'd finished speaking, the first notes of the song started to emanate from every side of the room.
I went to take my underwear off and tripped, falling right back into the mattress. "Sorry, it's been a while!"
"No complaining here, last time I got any whalebone corsets were all the rage... your modern undergarmets look so much more comfortable."
I crawled back over to Death and kissed him hard... he still felt like any other man I had been with, so I reached down and cupped his balls. Good, there were two of them!
Feeling generous, I decided to start things out with a little foreplay... I licked his balls and then gave the preliminary few licks of a blowjob and Death was instantly at attention. Men, it appears, are men no matter whether they are timeless entities or the dude who sits in front of you in stats. I decided to proceed with my plans of getting him orally excited before jumping on to finish him off, running my tongue back and forth over the ridge along the back of his penis (the frenulum, I believe it's called according to the class on sex that I took!), occasionally slipping the lips back over the head and then proceeding to occasionally tighten my throat and slip it further back, all of the while playing with his balls. I was pleased to note that he didn't once put his hand on the back of my head and push me down further- that sort of thing is just RUDE!
Just as I was getting into the rhythm of things, Death came. I could swear that my mouth was suddenly filled with wintergreen diamonds... it was odd. Remembering that it's rude to spit though, I swallowed. There's MUCH worse things than wintergreen out there after all.
Death actually blushed, "I am so sorry... it's been quite a while. Perhaps you wouldn't mind if I pay some attention to you?"