I belief that quite aside from religious beliefs there are some reasons why it might be worth staving off:
- The happiest teenagers I know are those that aren't dating. It frees them from a lot of drama and allows them to be friends with whomever they want without being tied down.
- Those years are when your self-identity is most malleable. Allowing someone who is emotionally immature (even if they're fine for how many years they've had to gain experience etc) to shape your self-image seems foolhardy.
- Sex generally has a bonding effect, particularly if the person is of particular emotional significance or it is the first time. Bonding to a number of people who are not going to be part of your life in the long term makes it more difficult to trust someone who is longterm material and to bond well with them. It's like a band-aid that sticks very well at first and eventually gets less sticky. Or like glueing two pieces of paper together and then separating them. Neither paper is going to ever be quite the same. Also because sex has a bonding effect, it is easy to accept less than healthy behaviour from someone because you have a strong emotional tie. Oxytocin creates something akin to a chemical addiction to the person you are with.
- You have the opportunity to observe how different decisions work for the people around you, thereby allowing you to make the best choices that will work for you, rather than be someone's guinea pig.
- Most guys within your age range at this time aren't likely to be very satisfying lovers, nor are they likely to be able to take care of your emotional needs. All the way around, hang on and you'll enjoy the experience more.
- There are nasty STDs out there, some of which cannot be treated easily (genital warts, herpes etc). They are now estimating that at least 50% of the population carry or have the HPV virus, although many don't know that they do. This virus can induce genital warts, or even start irregular cell growth which leads to cervical cancer. Herpes can be passed on even by oral sex and neither it or HPV can be prevented through condom use as they are transmitted through skin to skin contact. Your chances of contracting STDs go up exponentially the more partners you have. If you start now, your count of people (as well as factoring partners who have been with others etc) is likely to be significantly greater.
- You need a fairly strong sense of who you are and what you need from a relationship to not be at all emotionally manipulated or cohearsed (even into agreeing to not use a condom, but also into losing weight, isolating yourself from your friends etc). Mostly life experience and confidence give us that ability. Even if you are very mature for your age, you can only pack so much into 16 years. The stakes here can be fairly high.
- Just like you cringe at music or clothes you liked a few years back, you are likely to cringe at the kind of guys you like now when you look back. Why create a possibly permanent link to them? As a result of a bad long term high school relationship where her boyfriend was verbally abusive and constantly belittled her, my formerly healthy and confident cousin is dealing with bulemia still at 33.
- Birth control pills do have a very significant number of negative health side effects, in addition to messing with who you find attractive! They also aren't recommended for women to be on for most of their reproductive years (so if you start now, you are using up time you could take them later). They are ineffective if not taken consistently at the same time or if taken with antibiotics. Other forms of birth control aren't nearly as reliable as you'd like them to be if it's important not to get pregnant. Many adults can't even take care of this part of their sex life responsibly.
- It's kind of nice for there to be novelty, passion and something to look forward to in the future. Many of the people I went to school with were so sick of dating by the time they were 21 because they had started so young, that they just wanted to get on with finding someone and settling down. In retrospect, many of them regret cutting off their options both educationally and personally before they even had gotten to know themselves.
- Between 16 and 25, you're going to change a lot. If your relationship goes fabulously, chances are that the two of you are not going to change in the same directions. Many people that end up together dating in high school wonder later if they missed out on something.
- Navigating the differences between men and women even in a platonic situation takes a lot of trial and error and self-knowledge. When you throw sex into the mix, it's harder to see objectively. I think it makes sense to get good at just relating easily to each other and working through conflict as it comes up first. Then when you add sex to the mix, you have a strong foundation for communication (which good sex generally requires) and the sex itself is going to be much more enjoyable. You can better articulate what you like and also direct the other person or find out what makes them feel good.
- You need time to figure out what feels good to you yourself. Many women don't know that until years into their sex life and in the meantime have a lot of years of not particularly enjoyable sex.
- If you value your privacy, it is unlikely that the guy you sleep with in high school isn't going to share details with the people you know. If that makes you uncomfortable, you mgith want to consider that before.