Fellow sx-doms, what is your experience with limerence? What do you associate with it? Are there certain factors in an attraction which trigger limerence in you? If so, what are they? How long do the feelings usually last for you?
Woah nelly, I didn't realize there was actually a term for this! It kind of makes me feel better that there is though.
I've experienced this quite a few times, the first time I remember clearly was my freshman year of High School. I literally walked into my first period German class, made eye contact with this blue eyed dude and time warped-- like literally slowed. There were at least a couple other times in my teens and there have now been at least 3 in my twenties. I associate limerence (as it were) with adventure, pureness, authenticity-- on the flip side with disappointment, obsession, and shame.
Physical attraction definitely triggers limerence, but sometimes personality plays a part too. Eye contact is key for me.
I've learned more as time goes, that limerance is not something I can trust. Many times the person on the other end wasn't what I really wanted. We have loads of chemistry, but none of the same interests, values or goals (though the last one was spot on!). I've also learned that I have a serious tendency to freak the other person out. This has caused me to become
very cautious, unsure and even fearful of scaring the other person off (and of seeming needy). Unfortunately that means I kind of ignore them, unless I have a legitimate reason to approach. I can tell that they still notice my attention though, even from far off. Le sigh, what a mess.
I do have the issue that's already been mentioned by some, of setting myself up for failure with false expectations. I've "lived" relationships in my imagination before even finding out if the person even has feelings for me. I now know how to battle that and take my thoughts captive, though when I'm infatuated it
is a constant struggle. Usually this involves having pre-set topics ("channels") already set in my head for when a thought of that person comes. If it's a train of thought about my idealized future with said person, I say "NO!" (sometimes audibly, haha) and flip immediately to one of my pre-set channels. This can be anything from puppies, to what's going on in your week, to reciting the alphabet. Call me crazy, but it works!
I find that the older I get, the more my SP function has developed to try and balance the SX dom out. Instead of just careening off of the proverbial edge without any plan, I now equip a bungee cord.
I second that.