SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Keeping tabs on someone just makes you "involved" with them still. People somehow pick up on this "interest", even if you are not directly interacting with them. If you began to detach emotionally/mentally, then even when confronted with "signs" of her you will find less & less response to it within yourself, and she will likely sense this indifference also.
This (with variations) seems to be the major theme of responses in this thread - so, yeah. I will work on that. I do appreciate everyone's responses.
I've also realised something. On the occasions when I've undergone unpleasant experiences with someone (most of my experiences with other people are positive or neutral - but there have been some bad ones, obviously), I tend to obsess over what's happened, their motives, how I handled it, what they're thinking and doing now, etc, to the extent that it's almost as though they remain in my life - even though I have removed them from my life. And sometimes (circumstance-dependent) this has lasted for a long time. WHen I post threads like this it's often when the situation is largely over or resolved to the extent possible, and I end up sounding more neurotic about it in retrospect than while actually in the middle of the situation.
I think it's giving people who are a negative influence in my life too much power over me and I need to watch out for that. I do think that if someone's behaviour has been threatening or abnormal, it may be a good thing to keep a wary eye out - but as I'm prone to over-analysis and obsessiveness, I need to not slip over into those areas.