Not clumsy, and thanks
She is to be pitied in a lot of ways, because "it must be hell inside her head" certainly applies to her. But she's allowed the messed-up-ness bequeathed to her by her family to be an excuse for awful, unacceptable behaviour and for having a pretty nasty personality, which I have a lot less sympathy for. And I have little to no sympathy for her stupid parents.
Mmmm, is your OP an example of the INFJ doorslam?
It's good you confronted her directly and in no uncertain terms. That's what you need to do. Though it probably came too little, too late in retrospect.
As for your quoted text, I understand where you are coming from. And I think this episode is probably going to be "The Lesson" that changes your mind on how, to what extent, and to whom, you reach out to.
This is not an uncommon problem for NFs, though generally it's to the more indiscriminate, slightly outwardly clueless (that's kind honesty!!!) XNFPs . I've had this happen to me as well (people growing attached and thinking our relationship was something it was not).
I understand sympathy and compassion prevented you from being harsher earlier, but good boundaries make for good friends and even better, it keeps you safe and sane! It also helps teach other people boundaries, else they will always be tripping and falling over them. I hope you learned a lot about your limits and recognizing troubled people/behavior before it gets out of hand. Personally, I'm not nearly as nice as I used to be in public or with strangers. Needy people with issues, god bless them, have an antennae and know exactly who they can attach to and how far they can push things. They are not malicious usually and cannot help themselves but don't let them suck you dry or make effigies of you out of your hair that they worship next to their beds at night.
As far as her stalking behavior now, you also know it, but it's nothing out of the ordinary looking at it objectively. Yes, it feels incredibly creepy to you because you know her and how intense/odd her fixation is and know she's continuing in a smaller way her previous unwanted behavior. However, if you really don't want people following you around online, you basically don't have a blog or participate in anything online. That's what people do after really bad break ups, change their phone number, erase online blogs and Facebook, even change emails and sometimes they even move physically. I had a guy start a dating profile page just to check my profile out and let me know that he had looked, then promptly he erased his profile. There have even been people on this forum say that someone is using the forum to monitor them. Stuff like that goes with the territory of having any kind of online presence.
I might even go so far as to suggest you moving churches. It sounds extreme and may seem like a big loss of community but that is just too close for comfort.
But yes, please, feel free to shake it all off in here and vent to your heart's content.
Hope you came out of this wiser.