AffirmitiveAnxiety's guide to Life is like a Jar of Silverskin onions
There are many people in todays world who struggle with coming to terms with their weaknesses and desires. Such people try to force their way or use cheap, tacky online lists that claim to help them improve their social skills, careers, relationships and so on.
However these are all false, they try to abuse and manipulate poorly and pathetically those around them, which is exactly what the Silverskin onion rules do not do!
So do you wish to learn and know how you can enjoy them and life, by seeing the inner onion in everyone and harness it's power to your success?
If so...READ ON:
1) Always twist....never pull.
It may seem that getting what you want can be achieved with tenacity and hard work, but this is untrue. Like a jar of silverskin onions life becomes easier once one works out that you need to twist the lid...rather than pulling forcefully upon it. When this is done people will be amazed at your subtle aura of power, they will gasp in amazement. "How did this person achieve what no one else could? The removing of a silverskin onion jar lid?" Because you thought of it and no one else did, they will see you as a leader, confident and proud. This will boost your self esteem, without resulting to group backstabbings or social powerplays.
2) Lick the vinegar off
Like Silverskin onions, people surround themselves with a bitter shield of briny frustrations. The best way to bypass these defences and gain access to that persons emotions and fears is to lick them with your tongue. Once the aura is worn away by your self-assured licking, the person will be laid bare to you and they are now yours to influence with your new found confidence from rule 1.
3) Crunch the layers, don't pick
Like the best military tactics, shock and awe is your friend here. Once you have removed the barriers identified in rule 2, a person is naked to your brilliant flame of influence. Like a silverskin onion, people have these complex interwoven drives and desires that they try to mask under multiple layers. The best way to get to that soft, white....creamy centre, is to crunch right down on the outer skins of the individual.
Bite hard and fast, don't pick them slowly, or else the vinegar aura from rule 2) will have time to reform and then you will be surrounded by the floating skin of the persons layers.
4)Gulp don't chew.
Once rule 3 has been achieved, the person is now yours. Nothing stands between you and them, they are putty in your sticky, onioney, hands.
Except for one last step.
So now you must devour that last centre part, or else the sour taste of the vinegar that has been surrounding the person and trapped in by the layers will stick in your throat and cause your eyes to water, undoing all the good work of rules 1, 2 and 3.
So gulp this last part down and now the person is your pawn. You have finally achieved success with others and through them you now have the power to reach your goals.
So remember the 4 rules:
1) Always twist....never pull.
2) Lick the vinegar off
3) Crunch the layers, don't pick
4) Gulp don't chew.
Try them out on the next person you see in the street.
By following these simple, but effective, guidelines the key to happiness, wealth, jail and happiness is yours for the taking.
If you don't believe me, just look at how successful I am:
As you can see, there are no onions in my jar!