You need to find yourself a Sith'ari. Get studying on those dark side texts as you shall find victory and eventual freedom through using the force.
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Grand Book of the Sith
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The Dark Side is the essence of Darkness and power. As such, those along its path are touched
by its nature and brought to perceive their world in terms of named values: strength, power,
domination, Darwinism, war, and victory. Those of the Dark Side seek the challenge within our
world and the spiritual world: to overcome their own mortality, to find the source of power that
would allow them to forfeit their mortal coil and rise beyond the shackles of their bestowed
limitations. They seek challenge and confrontation, to find their limits and expand them.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
The above statement is rather obvious in its meaning: the Universe is always in motion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
By embracing the truth of the Universe, we gain energy and motivation—we are filled with ourselves.
Through strength, I gain power.
The result is that you advance and grow, and therefore gain and advantage and often get what you want.
Through power, I gain victory.
This refers to the success experienced by following this path.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
Success leads to the overcoming of failure and pain, freeing us from the clouding chains we put on ourselves, and
the chains others place on us.
The Force shall free me.
The final step is the unlimited expansion possible from this path.—ultimate power. There is a fictional Sith
prophesy that one totally freed by the force shall lead the Sith to victory, and destroy them, leading them all to
freedom themselves, as a messiah figure.
—The Sith Code (with explanations)