It's amazing how many people start a confrontation with the phrase, "You're making me feel ____________."
It's such a statement of powerlessness when you think about it.
There are a lot of people who don't understand that the feelings come from them and belong to them.
And, yeah, it is their responsibility to deal with them!
Some people never get it and spend their lives with their mood state dependent on other people's behavior. Not a good place to be.
Edit: This post was in respnse to Wolfy's last post.
What I said, heart.
Yes, there is.
And ultimately one can do little to change others.
At the risk of turning this into another heart/Anja show, I'll respond once again that you are repeating what I already said in another way.
Yes, yes, yes, I agree with you.
Uh oh, two INFP's going at each other?! I've never seen this in the wild before, goddammit where's my binocs?
anja You are responsible for controlling your moods.
heart Irresponsibility in controlling your moods is wrong.
Am I right?
That's not all. There is something like a big principle here: Anja thinks that you alone are responsible for your feeling. I think like this sometimes when applying morals on myself (For example, it is pointless for me to blame other people for how my life is. I am the only one who can change it). Heart on the other hand says that you can't be responsible for your feelings completely, since there are people who poison the atmosphere. This also means that you are responsible for other people's feelings. I actually agree more with Heart's way of thinking since it would be silly of me (and probably harmful to me) to blame myself for feeling miserable if I was in a poisonous atmosphere. The thing I should blame myself about is that I don't leave, or do something to make the atmosphere better.
Somehow I think that both Anja and Heart have learned their attitude through experience, which means they are not easily convinced otherwise.
I'm pretty sure what heart was saying is...... yeah I'm responsible for my own feelings, but sometimes a person I am with can be so toxic that they truly do make me feel bad, and it is their fault that I feel bad.Anja
There are a lot of people who don't understand that the feelings come from them and belong to them.
And, yeah, it is their responsibility to deal with them!
Some people never get it and spend their lives with their mood state dependent on other people's behavior. Not a good place to be.
heart
If I am living with someone or being a co-worker and I am perpetually in a bad mood, venting anger, venting sadness or being constantly critical I will be affecting the people around me. To deny this is, is to be irresponsible and narcissistic.
You both do seem to be saying the same thing. Your angles or point of focus are slightly different.
anja You are responsible for controlling your moods.
heart Irresponsibility in controlling your moods is wrong.
Am I right?
The middle way is the right way.
...If he's in an environment with negativity, it will affect him.