Merced
Talk to me.
- Joined
- May 14, 2016
- Messages
- 3,596
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
- Enneagram
- 28?
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sp
I've only come back in passing but I do want to see what conclusions will be drawn after a year of absence. My 19th birthday is coming up, so excuse any self indulgences beyond the scientific pursuit of having people ask me questions so that I can be bashful when I respond.
I'm answering some of the basics but I'm down for providing any other format of info for typing, in case you really want to prove your visual typing skills or something like that.
And now for the actual questions:
I'm answering some of the basics but I'm down for providing any other format of info for typing, in case you really want to prove your visual typing skills or something like that.
Age: 18 (19 in three days) Gender: Cis Female Sexuality: Bisexual Race: Black Nationality: American Any diagnosis that would affect typing: Bipolar II |
And now for the actual questions:
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I'm not necessarily unsure of my type, just want to be typed to see the results since I've been away from typology as a whole for a while. I mean... you can look at my post history I suppose, I did enough research to moderate this place.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Had to re-read this one a few times but I think I get the idea. I think my baseline is very forward-focused(?) and ready to do something. I'm constantly thinking about the future I want, the ups and downs of that future, and the path I'll be taking to get there. I think it's that then followed by "why do I feel that way?", hence the interest in typology. Emotionally this can span from excitement to full of dread.
2. Describe yourself--
Fucking exhausting, hahaha. Always helping someone, always trying to figure out the best route for things yadda yadda yadda. It's fun sometimes too though, I like to socialize and crack jokes, lightening the mood is something I'm really good at in public (still working on my internal levity though). There's this sense of longing that probably won't go away, and I'm not sure if it's the good kind or not. In fact, I'm not even sure I'll ever find out.
Shout out to this forum, 'mature for my age' is a very common comment. I can't remember if I truly felt fondly about that, but now I'm starting to pride myself on it. Intelligent, articulate, knowledgeable, those are things I hear. Nice, friendly, confident, flirty. I get focused and competitive often.
Hmm.... I'd describe myself as cartoonishly similar to the left/right mind theory. At times, I am strictly rational, focusing on the objective and problem solving while at others, I am a pouring emotion and feeling. I think it's good to be vulnerable, but I struggle with that. I think I could be characterized as professional when it comes to interacting with people I haven't really connected to. Of course, I can laugh and joke around-- I'm not a robot-- but rarely do I let that pure emotion aspect of me creep out unless it's totally safe to do so. Instead, I think I excel at catering to the outside, external world and interacting with that, while keeping that emotional analysis strictly internal.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
A lack of reciprocation has been an awfully reoccurring theme in my life. I'm learning through therapy and etc that I often give my all to things I really care about only to get hurt when that intensity isn't returned. It's definitely a case of not being able to properly set boundaries. When I like something, I forfeit everything for its comfort. Thus tying into my issues with codependency.
A lack of independence is also something that won't leave my narrative. I hate feeling powerless but often the outside world wants to enforce that feeling in me. I'm constantly trying to work and budget and finance myself but it's a constant struggle. I think part of the reason why this is so difficult for me is that my definition of independence involves the ability to care for myself and others, and it more times than not it comes down to me choosing one or the other (usually the other, old habits and all).
4. You're not good at everything--
I'm a total people pleaser but I can't bite my tongue at injustice, I just can't. Sometimes I wish I could bite my tongue when I see something blatantly messed up but no, it's a total savior complex sometimes. Being quiet in general is something I've never been good with. I speak up and I speak clearly. I'll get nervous every once and a while but I can't play that shy shit.
I want to be actually confident and not "I know there isn't much to lose" confident. Also I'd love to be more relaxed.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
It goes back to what I was saying earlier, I give 120% and then get my feelings hurt when other people don't do the same for me. I have to learn to be more moderate in my energy.
6. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Finding love is like a necessity in my eyes. Yeah, yeah, self worth blahh blah blah love yourself-- I want a spouse. I deeply crave that 1 on 1 connection of someone to take care of and vice versa. I want to matter to someone so badly. Of course, I can't rush it. It'll find me and not the other way around, but ughhh I want to hold hands with someone and laugh at dumb jokes and just exist with someone on an intimate level!
But uh, yeah, it's no big deal or whatever...
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply.
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
- to be a loveable person
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable
- to strive to become/behave like a good person
- to be accomplished and successful
- to be loving and benevolent
- to be knowlegeable
- to be "okay", having it together
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
- Entanglements and losing what I have
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
- Weak and not being on top of things
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
- Failure
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
I'm not necessarily unsure of my type, just want to be typed to see the results since I've been away from typology as a whole for a while. I mean... you can look at my post history I suppose, I did enough research to moderate this place.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Had to re-read this one a few times but I think I get the idea. I think my baseline is very forward-focused(?) and ready to do something. I'm constantly thinking about the future I want, the ups and downs of that future, and the path I'll be taking to get there. I think it's that then followed by "why do I feel that way?", hence the interest in typology. Emotionally this can span from excitement to full of dread.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
Fucking exhausting, hahaha. Always helping someone, always trying to figure out the best route for things yadda yadda yadda. It's fun sometimes too though, I like to socialize and crack jokes, lightening the mood is something I'm really good at in public (still working on my internal levity though). There's this sense of longing that probably won't go away, and I'm not sure if it's the good kind or not. In fact, I'm not even sure I'll ever find out.
b. What have others said about you?
Shout out to this forum, 'mature for my age' is a very common comment. I can't remember if I truly felt fondly about that, but now I'm starting to pride myself on it. Intelligent, articulate, knowledgeable, those are things I hear. Nice, friendly, confident, flirty. I get focused and competitive often.
c. What do you think of yourself?
Hmm.... I'd describe myself as cartoonishly similar to the left/right mind theory. At times, I am strictly rational, focusing on the objective and problem solving while at others, I am a pouring emotion and feeling. I think it's good to be vulnerable, but I struggle with that. I think I could be characterized as professional when it comes to interacting with people I haven't really connected to. Of course, I can laugh and joke around-- I'm not a robot-- but rarely do I let that pure emotion aspect of me creep out unless it's totally safe to do so. Instead, I think I excel at catering to the outside, external world and interacting with that, while keeping that emotional analysis strictly internal.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
A lack of reciprocation has been an awfully reoccurring theme in my life. I'm learning through therapy and etc that I often give my all to things I really care about only to get hurt when that intensity isn't returned. It's definitely a case of not being able to properly set boundaries. When I like something, I forfeit everything for its comfort. Thus tying into my issues with codependency.
A lack of independence is also something that won't leave my narrative. I hate feeling powerless but often the outside world wants to enforce that feeling in me. I'm constantly trying to work and budget and finance myself but it's a constant struggle. I think part of the reason why this is so difficult for me is that my definition of independence involves the ability to care for myself and others, and it more times than not it comes down to me choosing one or the other (usually the other, old habits and all).
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I'm a total people pleaser but I can't bite my tongue at injustice, I just can't. Sometimes I wish I could bite my tongue when I see something blatantly messed up but no, it's a total savior complex sometimes. Being quiet in general is something I've never been good with. I speak up and I speak clearly. I'll get nervous every once and a while but I can't play that shy shit.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
I want to be actually confident and not "I know there isn't much to lose" confident. Also I'd love to be more relaxed.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
It goes back to what I was saying earlier, I give 120% and then get my feelings hurt when other people don't do the same for me. I have to learn to be more moderate in my energy.
6. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Finding love is like a necessity in my eyes. Yeah, yeah, self worth blahh blah blah love yourself-- I want a spouse. I deeply crave that 1 on 1 connection of someone to take care of and vice versa. I want to matter to someone so badly. Of course, I can't rush it. It'll find me and not the other way around, but ughhh I want to hold hands with someone and laugh at dumb jokes and just exist with someone on an intimate level!
But uh, yeah, it's no big deal or whatever...
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply.
a. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you.
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
- to be a loveable person
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable
- to strive to become/behave like a good person
- to be accomplished and successful
- to be loving and benevolent
- to be knowlegeable
- to be "okay", having it together
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
b. Determine your "felt sense" of life.
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
c. Core fears.
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
- Entanglements and losing what I have
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
- Weak and not being on top of things
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
- Failure
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
Alright, ask me anything.