Malice is a strong word. I don't think there is intentional malice towards introverts on the parts of most extroverts who try to change them, it is just they assume their way is the best way and that we are defective and that it is up to them to get us to change, rather than a mutual give and take for understanding between the two groups.
Some people (both extraverts and introverts) have had malice. Some people did not. I can assure you that the kids who smothered my face in piss because they thought I was too quite and nerdy had malice. Most adults I think were sincere, but the expectations that they created were probably more hurtfull long-term (I know they meant well).
No matter their motivations, the end results are the same and it does not excuse the insensitivity of the approach especially between people who have known each other for years.
Again, I agree. I don't want to offend anyone by saying this. But I think I would be in much better shape today, if I hadn't been forced to try to change myself without success for so long.
I do have a sense of humor about it to some degree, you just have to in order to get along with some of them but when it goes beyond a certain point, my tolerance is just over for it. I am not a saint and I am not a pyschologist. I am only human and I get weary of being pushed and misunderstood, etc.
I mean, really, what base would someone have to draw from in terms of self-esteem if thorugh out life (and it continues today in the workplace) you are expected to be different from who you are just to get by. I know it's not done on purpose. But that doesn't change the fact that it is done.
I have told people enough how it is for me. They are chosing to not understand that this is a ingrained part of me, they are chosing not to meet me half way in coming to an understanding between us. I don't think the choice comes from malice. I wish I understood where the choice comes from, but I don't. The closest I can come to is the idea that they simply cannot believe anyone else could be so different from themselves, a sort of egocenteric thing.
"Egocentric" is a strong word. I think sometimes people are just so successful being themselves that they don't understand why others don't just do what they do and be happy. Why not be "responsible" like them? There was some talk about watching an "invalid on the dance-floor" and trying to correct them. Consider how mean it is actually to try to force such an invalid to do things he/she cannot do.
I have found ESFJ's the least understaning of the extroverts and the ENTP the most understanding of the extroverts, but that is just my personal experience.
I have an incredibly small sample size. But oddly enough, in my life it has been that way too. Of course, my type guesses could be way off, and that doesn't mean anything bad about ESFJs in general or anything. Just my personal experience. That's it.
Sometimes we just need to express the hurt from the past, and be validated that being hurt is a natural reaction, to move on. I don't think we are directing any hatred towards any person or any type by doing this. There are just words on a forum not aimed at anyone in particular.