I think a little bit of jealousy shows some sort of connection, and indifference is not necessarily good. If someone matters to you, their absence will feel like a loss to some degree. And jealousy seems to me to be tied to a sense of loss or, maybe more realistically, a fear of future loss.
Loss I can completely understand, and I get what you're saying about missing your kids when they're spending time with other people or missing your partner when they're away, my relationship atm is long distance and of course I miss my partner but it doesn't translate to jealousy, in fact if it did I think it would be a very bad place to be due to the distance. What Morgan said about it being form of premature grief is exactly how it makes sense to me.
Like Marm says, it's not necessarily the feeling but the behavior that is right or wrong.
I do totally agree with that, I've not called jealousy wrong or bad, what I've been saying is that it's a sign that there is an issue. That distinction between the feeling and the behaviour is important and a good point to raise.
I think that people who don't get jealous at all might be a bit emotionally cool or afraid of commitment. I can't imagine what it's like to not get jealous at all, it implies to me a lack of passion, seriously.
I mean if you don't care at all if you lose your mate, then I can't fathom that you're very much in love with them...maybe just killing time by having a relationship, and that seems much more co-dependent to me than being a little jealous in love.
So your assumption is lack of jealousy means lack of interest? Interesting. From my perspective as someone who only experiences jealousy as a negative sign of trouble I can assure you that it's not related to a lack of emotional connection to my partner or a fear of commitment, not in the least, I'm certainly not the most emotionally expressive person but depth of my emotion isn't fickle. I also don't claim to have ever been in love, which may be a difference here.
I would call a distinction between being invested and not wanting to lose your mate and feeling jealous or insecure about losing them, the two are not related for me. I don't want to lose my partner but that doesn't mean I'm jealous about who he spends time with or worry about him looking elsewhere, I don't feel I need to with him.
"He who is not jealous cannot love" ~Andreas Capellanus: The Art of Courtly Love
Victor posted that earlier and I don't see it, how is love dependant on feeling jealous?
I'm skeptical that love without jealousy even exists. Regardless of whether or not the element of jealousy is good or bad, I doubt it can be love at all if the jealousy is not there. How apathetic.
If true, it would happen that this would then give jealousy a secondary characteristic of being good, just because one would take it as an indication of love.
Explain how love is linked to jealousy? Love should be trust and openness, not jealous and bitter.
I think you're right about that...and I think a lot of NTs have zero tolerance for it because it adds unnecessary drama to the relationship. And because we feel like once we've proved we're trustworthy, we shouldn't have to keep proving it.
That's certainly how I feel about it, jealousy in a partner would say to me "I don't trust you" I appreciate people are giving different places that someone may be coming with when they display jealousy, but that's still how I would take it.
A lack of jealousy pretty much indicates a lack of vested interest.
Wouldn't being completely devoid of jealousy mean that you care not how much interest a person devotes in someone other than you, how much they share with that person, and what they do with that person? I think having no jealousy would mean not even being bothered if you parter had sex with other people, or shared personal information that they wouldn't with you, or preferer spending time with others, etc.. I think if you have absolutely no jealousy in a relationhip, then you value it as much as you do your relationship with any stranger.
Hell no. If my partner slept with someone else I would be pissed and hurt beyond words and I would leave, I do not tolerate infidelity, the thing is I trust him inexplicitly not to betray my trust in that regard, I don't feel the need for jealousy because I don't expect him to betray me.
I would never be jealous for the primary reason that if my trust were broken to that degree, I'd never want to see the person again. Jealousy implies you want them back. I can't think I would. I would view it as a clear assertion they didn't want me, too. I'm not suggesting it wouldn't hurt, I would be devastated. But there is no combination of events that I can think of that would result in me feeling jealous for a person's affections.
I might be jealous of their car, though. Rich people suck.
Egg-zachery!
And if you misplaced your trust?
The you get burnt, jealousy won't help you if you trust the wrong person, what's the alternative: if anything it will likely hold you back and form a defence against being hurt, hardly a worthwhile relationship if you're holding yourself at guard because you worry that your partner may betray you.