Scott N Denver
New member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2009
- Messages
- 2,898
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
haha....the most love INFPs get is from other INFPs
woohoo us!
haha....the most love INFPs get is from other INFPs
I happen to know that I appear cold and uncaring, "bad attitude" on the outside until people get to know me, if they take the time to get to know me and if I am willing to let them into my inner circle. It's very, very hard for me to extrovert emotion when I do not know people well. People think I am cold, aloof, pissed off, etc. (Conversely when I am mad and say so, they don't believe me!)
I've found with the Fi types I know that they are outwardly warmer and more demonstrative than me, yet inwardly more distant.
How many IFP here have gotten the "You're too intense" thing from people when you really opened up?
I know I have.
Thank you all. Very informative and helpful!
Hmmmph, yeah! It's always "you seem so self-contained!" or "your just so INTENSE!!!!" Where is the middle ground people, where is the middle ground?
I don't usually get called cold, but instead "self-contained and non-demonstrative." When I'm called cold its usually by T's though. Go figure.
Yes, Te types seem to take the most offense at my "coldness" but I am female so I think that's why they use the word cold, a more negative connotation than self-contained because women are supposed to be not
Hmmmph, yeah! It's always "you seem so self-contained!" or "your just so INTENSE!!!!" Where is the middle ground people, where is the middle ground?
I don't usually get called cold, but instead "self-contained and non-demonstrative." When I'm called cold its usually by T's though. Go figure.
Like Heart says, this is probably because you are a man and we are women. Different expectations from society....
I agree with that first paragraph....I just can't find the middle ground
Like Heart says, this is probably because you are a man and we are women. Different expectations from society....
I agree with that first paragraph....I just can't find the middle ground
Have we answered your questions or is it more like seeing things from the other side?
So, for example, if you were thinking about something, you wouldn't find it as needful to have another person to bounce ideas off of to clarify or ignite your own thoughts?
Would they want someone to come around if they were sick or feeling down or would they prefer their own space at that time?
Would they not care quite as much about other people's reactions to their thoughts/feeling/opinions/wishes?
What other ways might they not need people as much?
I've found with the Fi types I know that they are outwardly warmer and more demonstrative than me, yet inwardly more distant. I appear more reserved on the outside, but am quite warm on the inside towards other people. Is that an accurate assessment? I understand that people cannot show what matters to them indiscriminately, but even to the ones I am close to I feel held at arm's length.
As discussed in the INFJ thread, I also find that Fi types are less likely to state openly what is going on with them (whether the factors are external or internal) and yet will stick around and let their moods be felt in a prickly kind of a way.
I sometimes find them a little hot and cold with friends. Like lots of pursuing for awhile, then suddenly nothing. It feels fickle, although I don't think it is intended or experienced in that way by them.
Sometimes they choose hills to die on that aren't strategically advantageous and want to do battle at inappropriate times, when they'd be better served doing it privately.
The being true to themselves sometimes trumps doing what is needed in a friendship. I don't think people should be hypocritical, but I also don't understand why they can't temporarily make adjustments as long as it isn't a constant thing.
Fi doesn't need people as much as Fe does.