I judge people based on their morals and beliefs, whether or not they are good influences for me to be around. Yes, it is okay. Depending on who you hang out with determines you being at the wrong place at the wrong time getting caught up in things you normally wouldn't get caught up with had you hung out with the right kinds of people. I like to hang around productive people, people who do something with their lives...not ones who sit at home all day not doing anything with themselves. Plus, things cost money to do so I think it's okay to hang around people who have jobs or have a savings so we can hang out.
People who slack rub their slack on me, too, so I need to be around motivated people.
theflame wrote, “... judge people based …their morals and beliefs… good influences for me to be around.†“Yes, it is okay.†“...hang out with determines you being at the wrong place at the wrong time getting caught up in things you normally wouldn't get caught up with had you hung out with the right kinds of people.
It’s okay to make objective facts known. Subjectivity contain gross distortions in our thinking process.
'Definitions of Cognitive Distortions'
1. All or Nothing Thinking : We think in all or nothing, black and white, right or wrong categories, rather than seeing things more objectively, calmly, rationally and from many angles of truth.
2. Overgeneralization : You pick out one fact, comment or event and make it the totality of your sum experience.
Example: You made a mistake on a test, and think you always or always will make mistakes.
3. Mental Filter : You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
Ex. You get one bad compliment and it ruins your entire day.
4a. Mind Reading Jumping to Conclusions : You think you know what someone is thinking of you. Many times a negative label.
4b. Fortune Teller-Jumping to Conclusions : You anticipate that things will go bad for you.
5a. Magnification : You magnify your characteristics, attributes, and successes in your mind. The narcissism effect.
5b. Minimizing : You minimize other people's characteristics, virtues, successes, or attributes.
6. Disqualifying the Positive : You reject positive experiences by insisting they don't count for some reason or other.In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your every day experiences.
7. Emotional Reasoning: I feel it to be true so it must be true.
8. Should statements. Self explanatory. I should/ought/must/have to; they/he/she-ought/must/should/have to; the world or reality or life- should/ought/must/have to.
9a. Labeling: labeling, name calling, pejoratives of self or others
9b. Mislabeling-labeling: Involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
10. Personalization: You blame yourself for something not in your control.
I.E. You feel responsible for another person's actions or feelings.
Or you blame yourself for how an event or experience turned out, that was not to your liking.
The above 10 distortions are taken from David D. Burns; Feeling Good (1980).