There are only two explanations to my life and perceptions of others of my being. A) I got a serious mental disease, B) I do think different
I am inclined to go with A, but.. before I've come to get to know mbti, before I even ever knew something like typology psychology existed at all, I had a distinct intrest in something I may call an archetypical system.
I dont know what motivated it and I am inclined to say that I have no genuine intrest in every random person I meet, but as I said its more like a stereotyped sort of thinking that asseses different positions on the bridge of a starship to people.
Basically I think this was motivated by seeing abilities people have, I hadnt. I was for example amazed by the ability of an estp friend to deal with people. He was like everytime he talked to people, immediantly understood by them. I always was considered strange but he, people seemed to trust with their lifes. Even total strangers he met and he met a lot of that, he needed like five minutes and they talked with him like with a long time friend.
He has the distinct ability to morph between several perceptions of the world, like for example he talks to an artist, like one need to talk to an artist and he talks to a scientist like one needs to talk to a scientist. I was amazed by this ability and started to dig deeper into matters concerning humans.
While on this search, I built a rudimentary stereotypical system on my own. I am in no way a empathic guy, but I got something I like to call a net of experience, accumulated over the years. So if I meet someone new I start to derive from his actions, connections to my net and start to form an image of him. This is never a concrete object but more like the classic image of 100 snakes which move around each other and form a shape.
Thats basically my idea about Intuition aswell. Snake is prolly a bad metaphor, take worms if you like and then imagine 100 worms moving on a pile all around each other, stacking up and forming a shape, a silhouette of a human being. That means the silhouette is formed by the movements, directions and different colors of the worms, ultimately saying that the shape is derived from the worms itself.
A sensor may say that first you have to see the shape and then you can diagnose what's it made of but thats not how I think, I build humans out of the elements of my net of connections and form a shape, give a meaning to them that I have derived from my own imagination and in no way by the things that actually exist and the human being shows.
That's maybe why they say entps are good at motivating others, cause they see someone in you, who is actually not there.
Of course this leads to a lot of misunderstandings and dangerous assesments of reality.
When I built this net, it was ultimately fragmented, lacking proportion. And everytime I tried to communicate it to other people, I utterly failed. MBTI turned out to be the end of my journey a tool that enabled me to put the things I think myself into words and though they dont meet a 100% my internal world, its at least something.
What convinced me that I am no Sensor is that I seem to know at least one type of all the sensors in person in reality. I knew them before mbti and the traits that were given to them by mbti were traits I witnessed before, which made it easier to understand the mbti types more quickly.
I have a very unique and complex view of every type and if I think of the types I try to view the world through their eyes and never think about them in relation to other types. So I try not to derive from my knowledge of the world what their knowledge of the world maybe. I try to start from point zero and to develop a unique understanding of every type, like living his life.
If I am good at it ? no. Not at all, I am rarely able to grasp the person behind it, but what I am able is to understand different subjective forms of reasonings a person might have. I understand peoples motivations and one of the key elements I've seen so far with Sensors is, they are motivated to not be N-types at all.
That's difficult to explain, I will try to put it this way most sensors dont want to do drugs to widen their perception and to life in a world of possibilities, cause they are down-to-earth people who want rules for their lifes, which is necessary (SJs) or who pursue earthly goals, like money chicks and power (SPs), so to speak who are close to reality.
Of course exceptions do speak for the rule and there are a lot of people on this world, who dont fit into any pattern at all, due to a lot of different circumstances, therefore a thesis like mine above is a total generality at best, but you all know that yourself by now.
What told me that I am thinking different is my life. You can randomly pick any moment out of my life and you will find a lovely person, who is accepted by the community but never really in it. I never knew the latest news, I never up to date and I am always in it, but always out it aswell. Everyone knows that I am a huge freak but they accept me cause I am ressourceful, relieable and a hell lot of a fun to have in a group.
So that was basically my way to find acceptance with people and to find my position, my role in a group: humor. When I firstly experienced the reactions becoming much more hearty and trustworthy towards me after I was funny, I never quit to do it.
But what I will know for sure, I will never become a peoples person and I will not get much out of interaction with humans in this world. I will use my abilities to acquire a vast knowledge in the field of technical expertise and hopefully one day got a good idea to become rich. And then I will start to commit my intrests to astronomy.
But people will never be the Ones to give me what makes me happy on this world, they are more the ones to make me really sad, what's true so also is: I will never be able to live without them and dont ask me why that I havent figured out yet.