Thank ya'll kindly for responses so far.. It's a lot of information to take in and think about.. I know it's hard to reply to something briefly summarized like the OP, yet actually very specific and detailed.
I'd never try to convince an introvert that their ways are wrong. I'm an ENFP for Christ's sake.. I don't think hardly anything is 'wrong' in and of itself. Wrong is situational with me.
I don't always need someone to talk to.. I don't always want people to talk to either. I just wish, the times I did want to engage with my best friend, she was available. If being in person wasn't necessary for people to bond, I have a feeling that not only would long distance relationships work out more, but there'd be a whole lot more of them. It's not that I ever doubt that she's my friend.. I just doubt how close she is anymore. If the probability of being rejected with no answer is so much higher than being answered, I'm probably just not going to contact that person anymore. This is a harder decision to make when it's my best friend, however.
And so goes the E vs. I push and pull. It's just like the other 3 MBTI functions. N's find S's to be practical, simple, and straighforward. S's find N's to be dreamers and sometimes impractical. T's are too harsh, too blunt, sometimes complete jerks. F's are too illogical, too fluffy, maybe even needy. J's are set in their ways, structured, and inflexible. P's are wishy-washy and sometimes flaky. It goes on and on.
There's nothing pansy about being an introvert and not wanting to take your call. It's quite possible that your friend thinks its pansy that you keep calling and need to hang out so much. Not taking your calls is a sign that you might be pushing too much or asking for time when she's not willing to give it. I will always take the calls of my extrovert friends and if I don't want to hang out, I will say straight out, "I don't want to hang out today." It is my hope that if I say what I mean and mean what I say that they will respect my preferences and my decisions. If I continue to get pressure and if they are not accepting my "no" at face value (no definitely means no, in this instance,
trust me), that's when I have to resort to things like not taking phone calls.
It's not that we don't value our friendships. Please don't misunderstand. We love our friends just like anyone else. We just innately have less desire for social stimulation than you do. It's just WAY TOO MUCH sometimes. And it's WAY OVERRATED a lot of times. When I tell my extroverted friends no, it doesn't mean I don't like them or don't want to remain friends. It just means that I don't want to hang out right now. And I might not want to hang out tomorrow either. And maybe not this coming weekend either. But, be patient, we'll get together soon enough. And you can be sure that when you guys do get together, your friend will have missed your company and will usually be really glad and excited to see you. You'll get the full benefit of her personality. You'll get the version of your friend that you love most. But, if you've been pressuring them and pushing them and trying to get them to be more extroverted, you're going to get a frustrated, short-tempered friend who is in a hurry to get home.
We introverts have our responsibility too. I don't want to put it all on extroverts to cater to us. It's just about understanding what makes us tick. That's all we want from extroverts. Try to really put yourself in our shoes. If you can't, then you'll always just think we're a bunch of pansies. We have a responsibility to get out of our shells more and to push ourselves a little bit in order to maintain relationships.
Just try to understand your friend. I guarantee she will appreciate it greatly. She definitely wants and values your friendship, but if it always has to be on YOUR TERMS, then we will definitely find a way to create the distance that is comfortable for us - even if that means shutting down the whole operation for a period of time (You can't conduct business if the business is closed). I've done that in very rare situations - when I'm being pulled in a lot of directions by a lot of people (work, boss, other groups I belong to, friends, family, etc, etc, etc.) - I just take 2 days off work and go to the beach with a book. Cell phone stays in the car (I'll check it before I go to bed). Go to a matinee movie by myself. Only 4 people in the theatre (Popcorn is on me, everyone. Who wants popcorn?) LOL, I'm going to do that next time! But, it's limited interaction with everyone. "One for Iron Man 2, please. Here's 20 bucks. Thanks!" Go to my favorite restaurant and get some food to go. Next day, just stay in and do some writing, thinking. No schedule, no demands, nobody telling me that I'm not doing enough of this or enough of that. Basically, leave a voice message. I'll get back to you. By the 3rd day, no joke, I feel like a million bucks. I'm recharged and ready to go!
Do her (and yourself) a huge favor and free her of "your expectations". Just let her be who she is and appreciate her for the person she is. She might disappoint you sometimes by not wanting to hang out or answering your calls. Don't take it personally. Take the bad with the good and appreciate her for all of her good qualities. This approach will go A VERY LONG WAY with most introverts.