wildmoon
New member
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2017
- Messages
- 103
- MBTI Type
- NTP
- Enneagram
- 539
I’m an INFP. My youngest sister is an ESFJ and has fully entered her entitled teenage phase – I’m talking shoplifting, graffiti, alcohol, truanting, trying to pierce her own ears and all that kind of stuff. Up until recently I used to be her confidant because I don’t take most of her misbehaviour too seriously. I find it kind of funny, but simultaneously am able to give helpful advice.
But recently she’s started giving me the silent treatment for days at a time and starting fights over literally nothing. Seriously, she started a fight with me because I hesitated for a moment before agreeing to buy her something that she asked me to buy. I agreed without any hassle, I bought the thing, but she didn’t talk to me for two days afterwards. And she kept storming out of rooms whenever I entered them. Like, because I hesitated. Today when I tried to confront her about the silent treatment she launched into denial and accusations that I was making it all up.
Also, most of the fights with her seem to be about food. That's the weirdest thing about it. She constantly expects me to buy her junk food, even when we have plenty of food available. (Just for the record, I do agree to buy it for her 85% of the time. Even though I'm not her caregiver or anything like that.) She often asks me how much food I've eaten. She accuses me of taking more than my fair share, which I don't. (It’s generally her that does that. I actually eat very little. Of course, I wouldn’t bother pointing those things out to her, because live and let live, yo.) And when she believes there's been some sort of unfairness in the distribution of food, it becomes a huge drama.
It’s obviously kind of confusing. So I’m wondering – is it all just a teenage thing? Is it an ESFJ thing? I’ve read that they’re manipulative and like to have control over people, and my sister even verbally confirmed that when she took the MBTI. Are SJ types more sensitive about material needs? Maybe that would explain the food thing.
So what should I do? Withdraw from trying with her for a while, and just wait it out until she gets more mature? Try to repair the friendship, even though I know that she’ll still be like this and that I can’t keep dishing out unwarranted apologies? Or just leave it up to her to make amends, which I know she won’t do? What would you do? I’m so tired, man, people can be so blah. I don’t want to go along with the whole silent treatment thing and just respond in kind. It feels so contrived, and it's also just an awful thing to do. I don't want to stoop to that level. So I have to speak up about it. But people hate that.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the information and advice! Things are still a bit weird and I ended up 'apologising' yesterday lol, but I'll take this stuff on board in the future. I'd like to close this thread now!
But recently she’s started giving me the silent treatment for days at a time and starting fights over literally nothing. Seriously, she started a fight with me because I hesitated for a moment before agreeing to buy her something that she asked me to buy. I agreed without any hassle, I bought the thing, but she didn’t talk to me for two days afterwards. And she kept storming out of rooms whenever I entered them. Like, because I hesitated. Today when I tried to confront her about the silent treatment she launched into denial and accusations that I was making it all up.
Also, most of the fights with her seem to be about food. That's the weirdest thing about it. She constantly expects me to buy her junk food, even when we have plenty of food available. (Just for the record, I do agree to buy it for her 85% of the time. Even though I'm not her caregiver or anything like that.) She often asks me how much food I've eaten. She accuses me of taking more than my fair share, which I don't. (It’s generally her that does that. I actually eat very little. Of course, I wouldn’t bother pointing those things out to her, because live and let live, yo.) And when she believes there's been some sort of unfairness in the distribution of food, it becomes a huge drama.
It’s obviously kind of confusing. So I’m wondering – is it all just a teenage thing? Is it an ESFJ thing? I’ve read that they’re manipulative and like to have control over people, and my sister even verbally confirmed that when she took the MBTI. Are SJ types more sensitive about material needs? Maybe that would explain the food thing.
So what should I do? Withdraw from trying with her for a while, and just wait it out until she gets more mature? Try to repair the friendship, even though I know that she’ll still be like this and that I can’t keep dishing out unwarranted apologies? Or just leave it up to her to make amends, which I know she won’t do? What would you do? I’m so tired, man, people can be so blah. I don’t want to go along with the whole silent treatment thing and just respond in kind. It feels so contrived, and it's also just an awful thing to do. I don't want to stoop to that level. So I have to speak up about it. But people hate that.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the information and advice! Things are still a bit weird and I ended up 'apologising' yesterday lol, but I'll take this stuff on board in the future. I'd like to close this thread now!
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