He's 26, I'm 25. I guess where I live, that's viewed as a bit old to not be married yet. I really want to be married before I'm 30... it's a source of constant stress for me. I feel like that's one of the things I need to do to feel like an accomplished adult.
Could you explain how it works like that? It might be due to different culture, but I don't see how being married has anything to do with being seen as an adult.
And if it comes about that he and I don't get married, then the pool of unmarried men will be so much smaller by the time we break up, that maybe I would have to settle with someone that wasn't the best match for me.
Tell me if I'm wrong but this sounds like you think there would be less of a chance breaking up if you were married. (I also think you shouldn't mention this to him, as it might seem very calculating)
I suppose that could be it, too. But I think he needs to realize that I don't want to be someone's girlfriend for the rest of my life either.
Why not? I get the feeling this is about outward appearances. Usually INFPs are hard to make do anything just for the sake of pleasing "the crowd".
Yeah, maybe I'm weird or something. I guess I just see a relationship as a sort of life-project that I want to keep working on and perfecting, where he seems to see it as a 'wherever life takes us' sort of thing.
The wherever-life-takes-us is what to me is the whole beauty of it. It would be difficult to convince me that marriage can effect the quality of the relationship and make it more "perfect".
BTW, I kinda feel like an asshole now, since I am basically opposing everything you see important, but maybe it is better that you get a very marriage-critical point of view here from some anonymous jerk, than from your boyfriend..? At least you'll know what to expect... maybe...