cascadeco
New member
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2007
- Messages
- 9,083
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
You know that train of thought that holds that kids already know how to live life and that we just unlearn as the years pass? That's kind of how I see it.
"Learning" for me sounds more like "unlearning". You had a vision, and you fuck up as you go along...you start listen to other people, to society, you adapt...you become more "realistic" and less idealistic...you hear the naysayers....you lose faith in your own beliefs...and in the end...you lost what made you different in the first place. You lost your innocence.
Umm.. I see what you're saying. But, it probably won't surprise you that I don't necessarily view my initial self - my child self - as 'right'. I WANT to keep adding to my knowledge base, and a big part of who I am and how I see myself - so, in essence, ME - is my belief that I don't necessarily believe or have faith in my initial beliefs. I might be wrong, I might change my mind, and I don't see that as a loss of myself, I see that as a learning of myself. A finding of myself. A honing. A creating. Truly.
I'm not arguing or disagreeing with you - I mean, I see your point. I just view things differently, and that's what, well, makes us different. Big lol!
As for mistakes, I get what you are saying. I guess, to use an extreme example, it's like : once a cheater always a cheater. I'd never trust someone who cheated on me again...as I think that reveals something about the person's character. It's not like the other person is the devil for cheating...still human...but i don't want anything to do with that person ya know? Now make that a little broader...other mistakes reveal something about your personality too.
Oh, I think I'm pretty similar. I definitely look at peoples' past behaviors and patterns, and those patterns are of utmost importance to me. I don't disregard those patterns or those indications of what might lie deeper.
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Re. the bolded piece, I was just referring to what you said about judging people based on their past records and behaviors. Simply that if you met up with an nfj who did drugs in the past, but you yourself didn't particularly think that was indicative or anything or it didn't bother you, then it wouldn't be a skeleton in the closet for you. Whereas if you did feel strongly about their sexual history in some way, and felt that was indicative of deeper elements of their character, then with another nfj who happened to have a history of a lot of casual sex, that would be a big skeleton for you and you'd probably not want to get involved because THAT would be indicative of things - perhaps different things - in their psychae.
In any event, I definitely look at underlying motivations for behaviors and such when it comes to relationships.... so I do a similar thing to you there, I think. We each just have different tolerance levels when it comes to one skeleton or another.
I apologize if that makes no sense or doesn't answer the question.