I also was "The Perfect Mate" and totally thought that episode was about me.
I think I may even have chosen to complete my transformation by choosing to stop at the "me" I liked best, just like the metamorph did. For me that was with an ISFP mate. Luckily I got to keep him.
Fireandwater, you have made me cast aside my fear of being labeled a trekker.
Let me (and I'm shamelessly proud of myself for being able to do so) tie in our metaphor of the Star Trek Metamorph to the original post in which Desert Flower asked about ENFP and INFJ relationships.
It has been my personal experience that both the personality page and Socionics have valid theories about ideal complements. For example, I've had four "major" relationships in my life. Two were with ISTPs (my dual per socionics), one with an INFJ, and one with an INTJ.* While I knew of Jungian typology theory, it was only about two years ago, that I came to know of these "ideal match" theories. (In fact, it was because I discovered the creepy parallels between my dating history and the theory that I once again became interested in MBTI.)
So back to the Star Trek Metamorph analogy... FireandWater talks about how she chose to stop her transformation with her current ISFP beau. I understand exactly what she means. And, in a way, I've done the same thing with my ISTP significant other.
Per
thepersonalitypage.com ENFPs and INFJs/INTJs are ideal complements. And my own personal experience is that this is true. There is this ineffable, magnetic energy between these types... especially the ENFP/INFJ pairing. When I hang out with my INFJ friends, our conversations are akin to those of an old married couple who can finish each other's sentences. And man alive... the intensity of the emotional connection can sometimes be overwhelming.
But with my ISTP, I have a
Socionics dual relationship. I can just be myself around my dual. So much of being an ENFP is orienting oneself around the emotional tenor of their friends and loved ones. This is one of the ENFPs greatest strengths, and taken to the extreme can be a weakness. But strength or weakness, this takes a tremendous amount of mental energy.
When I'm with my ISTP, I don't have to expend this kind of energy. It's like we're sooo different that I don't even try. (And, we're both Ps, so we don't want to kill each other with the whole J/P wanting to bang your head into a wall thing.) He's like my Metamorph cryptonite (to add another hoaky allusion to this post). I just am. And, this gives me energy to do so many things I want to do. It has been a very, very satisfying relationship.
So I would say that both the Socionic's theory of
duality, and the personality page theory of
same dominant function in opposite direction are correct. I think I could be very happy with either of these types. One is not better than the other, they just feel very different to me. With the INFJ there are incredible, transcendental moments that I've always yearned to have with an SO. With the ISTP, there is a calm and steady, eye-of-the-storm kind of experience.
I, too, FireandIce, decided that I liked the person I was around my ISTP. And even if he and I were to break off our relationship, I hope that I keep the me that I am now when I am with him. I like her very much.
*Also, I have dated INTPs, INFPs, ISFPs and three ESFPs. <--- Why three ESFPs I'll never know.