Chris_in_Orbit
New member
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2008
- Messages
- 504
- MBTI Type
- ESTJ
I don't think the guy is a total ass. I mean I like him well enough. Though I have to say ESFJs really get on my last nerves with their doting-on-you-making-sure-everything-is-ok attitude. I apppreciate it every once and a while but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. ENFJs seem to have a watered down version of that...I realize I'm no longer even addressing Schnitzel particularly so I'll just end that here.Some guys actually listen.
It sounds like it's just a bad combo or the guy's an ass or both. I don't really know.
Its not about competition. If you're in a relationship, there is definitely a "right" way to go about it. I don't even know if you will agree with that, but thats ok. I don't think you should be looking at people's faults either. Just see them for who they are, faults included. You might be way more happy if those things don't nip you in the bud later. (what does "nip in the bud" even mean? Seriously.)hey...what's this obsession with blame? i don't know i just don't care...there's compatible and non compatible...i don't think anyone is doing anything "wrong" by being who they are....not to say that striving for growth and balance isn't important but there's no "better" way to approach the relationship...it's not a competition.
i happen to like that i see the good in people and feel i'd be a lot less happy if all i saw were everyone's faults.
True. If you trash something without taking it as far as it can go, you don't get your money's worth.I think we just value relationship above all else. It's important not to trash something if there is any possibility of it being redeemable, because maintaining relationships is important in and of itself, an idea that overrides the particular relationship we happen to be in at the moment.
Js having a hard time communicating.. I can see that. Both of my friends have opinions about the way things should be. Its pretty obvious that neither of them are willing to budge without something exploding in their face.That's the theory, but I'm pretty sure there's another part of it too, namely people moving themselves to a suitable balance. Is there any type that doesn't have both thinking and feeling in the top four functions?
If the deal with relationships is each partner is forever dragging the other partner back from their dominant+auxiliary ledge, that seems kinda... confining, at least.
I also think--for the particular problem that originated this thread--J's together have a hard time communicating naturally, especially if their directive functions can't say things the other type can understand. Or if their directive function is pushing for something the other person's directive function doesn't accept. Si informed Fe and Ni informed Fe... you gotta hope there's grounds for understanding.
And altruism? That's another thread, but I really don't want to rule out the possibility that it can be real. Sure, people are involved in their own decision-making--because if they weren't, they'd make no decisions at all--but, at the risk of being selfish, I believe there can be good decisions about good action.